Thursday, April 17, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Agent Cody Banks

2 stars (PG, 95 min.) Frankie Muniz (Big Fat Liar) again fails to achieve big-screen stardom as a miniature 007 trained by the CIA. Harald Zwart's sad Spy Kids/James Bond hybrid completely lacks humor and stylistic charm.--BG

Anger Management

1/2 star (PG-13, 101 min.) After an altercation with a stewardess, Adam Sandler is sentenced to anger therapy with a patently certifiable Jack Nicholson. Cue two-men-in-a-bed fart jokes and mine-is-bigger-than-yours jokes. To call director Peter Segal mediocre would be a kindness. A mess of this magnitude requires total incompetence. A shameless waste of a great premise and the surreal humor of writer David Dorfman. With endless stunt cameos (Bobby Knight, John McEnroe, Derek Jeter, Rudy Giuliani) plus Marisa Tomei, Heather Graham and Woody Harrelson in a dress.--JC

Basic

3 stars (R, 95 min.) After Samuel L. Jackson is killed during a Special Forces exercise, John Travolta and Connie Nielsen investigate. John McTiernan's drama will have viewers struggling to follow its labyrinthine plot. But Travolta is a swaggering dream of hip-swinging narcissism. With Harry Connick Jr., Giovanni Ribisi.--JC

Bend It Like Beckham

1 star (PG-13, 112 min.) Call it "My big formulaic Sikh soccer romance." Soccer-crazed London teen Parminder Nagra defies her Punjabi Sikh parents (Shaheen Khan, Anupam Kher) and ignores preparations for sister Archie Panjabi's wedding to join Keira Knightley on a women's team coached by hunk Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Gurinda Chadha's films (Bhaji on the Beach, What's Cooking?) drown in a flood of "worthy" multicultural themes (race, class, religion, prejudice). Her feel-good mix of sports flick and culture-clash satire is the painful epitome of "crowd-pleaser." With Juliet Stevenson.--AA

Bowling for Columbine

3 1/2 stars (R, 120 min.) Michael Moore's look at American gun culture is a slick documentary, sometimes a little too slick. Moore actually scores an interview with NRA president Charlton Heston simply by ringing his doorbell. While it's not perfect, it does entertain and make you think. Oscar: best documentary feature.--MP

Bringing Down the House

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 105 min.) Steve Martin and Queen Latifah can't save Adam Shankman's insulting mess about a tight-assed lawyer helping an ex-con clear her name. All sorts of warm and fuzzy racial slurs are thrown in our faces.--BG

Chicago

4 stars (PG-13, 113 min.) Rob Marshall brings the Bob Fosse/John Kander/Fred Ebb musical to the big screen with 14 brilliantly envisioned song-and-dance numbers. Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Richard Gere might not be ready for the stage, but their voices shine within the constructs of a motion picture. Maybe too slick and tidy, but always entertaining. 6 Oscars: picture, supporting actress Zeta-Jones, art direction, costumes, editing, sound.--MP

The Core

Not reviewed (PG-13, 135 min.) Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank journey to the center of the earth to avert doomsday. Vegas' own junketeering quote whore Jeff Howard claims Jon Amiel's disaster pic has "enough thrills to last moviegoers a lifetime!" Viewers with enough brain cells to take heed might like to stay away. With Delroy Lindo, Stanley Tucci.--AA

Cradle 2 the Grave

3 1/2 stars (R, 100 min.) Jet Li finally gets it right in an American movie, as a Taiwanese Intelligence man helping thief DMX rescue his kidnapped daughter. A sci-fi subplot almost wrecks it, but Andrzej Bartkowiak's film is a decent meathead of a movie. Top-notch action, admirable camerawork and a nice soundtrack. With Tom Arnold, Gabrielle Union.--BG

Dreamcatcher

3 1/2 stars (R, 134 min.) Damian Lewis, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant and Jason Lee face strange things in the snowy Maine woods. From Stephen King's novel, Lawrence Kasdan and co-writer William Goldman have made half a good thriller that quickly degenerates into a bloody mess. With Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore.--AA

DysFunktional Family

2 1/2 stars (R, 80 min.) Eddie Griffin offends equally in George Gallo's concert film of Griffin's profanity-laced standup comedy act, which pokes fun at everyone from George Washington to Michael Jackson. Includes flagrantly homophobic sentiments, plus candid interviews with Eddie's uncles Bucky (a wannabe porn king) and Curtis (an endearing ex-con).--AA

Ghosts of the Abyss

2 stars (G, 59 min.) The last thing James Cameron should've done was coast on past glory. In his 3-D large-format documentary, narrator Bill Paxton says you can leave the Titanic, but the Titanic never leaves you. Not for "King of the World" Cameron, who made multiple 12,000-foot dives to "excavate" the liner's corpse, using high tech aquatic cameras. Plenty of belief-defying shots, but the subject has become so uninteresting.--MP

Grand Canyon: The Hidden Secrets

2 stars (NR, 40 min.) Kieth Merrill's 1984 Imax movie mixes spectacular footage with a brief history lesson about early explorers John Wesley Powell and Garcia de Cardenas.--AA

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen (1999's Alien Adventure).--AA

Head of State

No stars (PG-13, 95 min.) Chris Rock has delusions of grandeur. Instead of sticking with standup, he insists on inflicting unfunny films on us. Pootie Tang was abysmal. Rock's directorial debut, in which he plays an unlikely presidential candidate, is worse. With Tamala Jones, Bernie Mac.--AA

House of 1000 Corpses

Not reviewed (R, 88 min.) After their car breaks down, two couples are stranded in a creepy old house. Murder, cannibalism and satanic rituals ensue. Shock rocker Rob Zombie makes his writing-directing debut with a schlock horror gorefest starring Karen Black, Sid Haig and Michael J. Pollard.--AA

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

2 stars (PG-13, 116 min.) Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are a decent screen couple, but Donald Petrie's romantic comedy is confused and corny. The screenplay craps out and becomes your average stupid Meg Ryan romance. --BG

The Hunted

1 star (R, 94 min.) In William Friedkin's illogical chase flick, nature-loving misanthrope Tommy Lee Jones (an unlikely amalgam of Capt. Ahab and Johnny Appleseed) pursues former disciple-turned-killer Benicio Del Toro (who sounds like Ted Kaczynski brainwashed by PETA) in the Pacific Northwest. A muddled hackneyed mess.--RC

The Jungle Book 2

Not reviewed (G, 72 min.) After 36 years, Disney delivers a sequel to Wolfgang Reitherman's 1967 hit, based on Rudyard Kipling's stories. Voices include John Goodman and Haley Joel Osment.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

5 stars (PG-13, 179 min.) While this reviewer has a few "geek" quibbles, this continuation of Tolkien's grand adventure still qualifies as the best film of 2002. Further proof that director Peter Jackson is the right man for the job. With Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen and outstanding CGI effects. A terrific cinematic achievement. 2 Oscars: sound editing, visual effects.--GS

A Man Apart

2 1/2 stars (R, 109 min.) After his cat is apparently kittynapped, DEA superhero Vin Diesel has ample Rumsfeldian justification for unleashing a kick-and-awe campaign on bad guys Timothy Olyphant and Geno Silva. With Christian Gudegast and Paul Scheuring's predictable script, F. Gary Gray's moody drug-war drama isn't exactly French Connection III. Costarring Jacqueline Obradors, Larenz Tate.--AA

Old School

3 1/2 stars (R, 91 min.) In dire need of a Will Ferrell fix? This one's for you. Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn and Ferrell start a fraternity willing to accept anyone as a member. Director Todd Phillips follows in the great tradition of Caddyshack and Animal House with a film that's vulgar yet good-natured.--BG

Phone Booth

3 stars (R, 81 min.) In a Manhattan phone booth, a voice informs Colin Farrell that if he hangs up, he's dead. Despite Larry Cohen's spotty script, Joel Schumacher's flimsy, manipulative thriller whizzes along with surprising energy and focus. Sweating and frantic, Farrell is believably terrified; and as the cop trying to contain the situation, Forest Whitaker lends substance to the most generic of roles. More fun than it deserves to be. With Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell. --JC

The Pianist

4 stars (R, 148 min.) Holocaust survivor Roman Polanski is a natural to film the story of concert pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman (brilliantly played by Adrien Brody). Instead of going into the death camps, the film focuses on Szpilman's survival in the Warsaw ghetto, his dedication to living and his muse. With Thomas Kretschmann. 3 Oscars: actor Brody, director Polanski, adapted screenplay Ronald Harwood.--MP

Piglet's Big Movie

Not reviewed (G, 75 min.) When Piglet runs away from home, his friends from the Hundred Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit and Eeyore, try to find him. John Fiedler, Jim Cummings and Peter Cullen provide the voices for Disney's animated follow-up to The Tigger Movie, featuring A.A. Milne's beloved characters and songs by Carly Simon.--AA

The R.M.

1/2 star (PG, 100 min.) Mormon missionary Kirby Heyborne returns to civilization (Salt Lake City) from some godforsaken hellhole (Wyoming). Kurt Hale's unforgivably offensive follow-up to The Singles Ward purports to poke gentle fun at the Latter-Day Saints, but the antediluvian humor unwittingly reveals a skewed, sanctimonious world view.--AA

Shanghai Knights

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 114 min.) In David Dobkin's irritating Shanghai Noon sequel, Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson head for England where they confront Queen Victoria and Jack the Ripper, and befriend street urchin Charlie Chaplin. Even Chan's fight scenes are lame.--BG

Space Station

2 stars (NR, 47 min.) Though the 3D footage in Toni Myers' Imax film is spectacular, Tom Cruise's anodyne narration glosses over the fact that the $28 billion international space station is proving to be NASA's costliest white elephant ever.--AA

Spider

3 1/2 stars (R, 96 min.) Ralph Fiennes gives a haunting, inward-facing performance, in David Cronenberg's film of Patrick McGrath's novel, as a shuffling schizophrenic reliving childhood memories involving his mother Miranda Richardson, plumber father (Gabriel Byrne) and a trashy blonde (also Richardson). Cinematographer Peter Suschitzky and production designer Andrew Sanders have fashioned a decaying, esthetically bereft world where beauty is an unobtainable luxury and truth alters moment by moment. A perfectly designed meditation on the reverberations of childhood trauma that lacks Cronenberg's signature, stomach-churning style: This time, the horror is on the inside.--JC

Tears of the Sun

4 stars (R, 118 min.) In Antoine Fuqua's thriller, Navy SEAL Bruce Willis has a crisis of conscience while rescuing a doctor (Monica Bellucci) from war-torn Nigeria. Critics who say this is Willis' best action flick since Die Hard aren't far off.--FMC

Two Weeks Notice

2 stars (PG-13, 100 min.) Sandra Bullock needs to stop making the same movie over and over again. Here she's an attorney for spoiled land developer Hugh Grant who, typically, becomes a love interest. If you've seen other Bullock flicks (While You Were Sleeping, Miss Congeniality), you've already seen this one.--FMC

View from the Top

2 stars (PG-13, 87 min.) Gwyneth Paltrow, Mike Myers and Candice Bergen star in Bruno Barreto's mildly humorous yarn about a Nevada salesgirl who longs to be a flight attendant. Eric Wald's script feels like it was penned in the '60s: Stewardesses haven't looked this sexy or thrilled with their jobs since Airplane! --JC

What a Girl Wants

1 star (PG, 95 min.) Dennie Gordon's remake of The Reluctant Debutante makes an awful old satire even worse. Amanda Bynes (hopelessly out of her small-screen league) is the New York teen disrupting aristocratic English dad Colin Firth's stuffy social scene. Not even Colin Firth's scene-stealing charisma can rescue this schmaltzfest. With Oliver James, Kelly Preston, Jonathan Pryce.--AA

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; BG: Bob Grimm; FMC: Full Metal Critic; GS: Geoff Schumacher; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; RC: Robert Chancey