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Idiot Box Savant: More zany Japanese, sort of!

By Andrew Kiraly

I'm conflicted. Should I name my mouth Superhole or not? On one hand, in a show of true ass-centric dedication, it's consumed alarmingly high levels of a new food group called "popcorn chicken" over the past week. On the other hand, it has yet to do so with all the expert insouciance of the young, beautiful consumatroids in TGI Friday commercials. Seen those? How they turn eating into an aerobic, vaguely flirtatious activity is a mystery yet to be pierced by my wildly gnashing molars. But I will not disappoint you, O Chipotle Nation! (That's what I named my stomach).

So we must talk about this summer show "Banzai" currently airing on Fox (KVVU Channel 5, Sundays, 7:30 p.m.). Having marked on my calendar that the Age of Irony has been over for two years now ever since Al Qaeda blew it up, I wonder how this prog ever made it past the airport shoe-detectors. "Banzai" is so tartly, so cheekily ironic, it's a wonder that Afghanistan and its Taliban isn't breaking out in monkeypox as we speak.

Anyway, at first glance, "Banzai" looks like a Japanese import. It's got flashy colors, a bizarre sensibility and, the real giveaway, Japanese people. But then, in a brief moment of clarity, the Savant noticed the Japanese on "Banzai" speak English--not just any English, mind you, but that stereotypically broken, grunted English that betrays some kind of meddling by elbow-patched cultural imperialists--da dum! The British! Yeah, believe it or not, "Banzai" is a TV program that originated in England, best known as the place where boiling was invented. Makes sense. Since most hit TV shows, from "Weakest Link" to "American Idol," originated in Britain, it was only a matter of time until some enterprising TV execubot at Fox thought he might have a Stateside hit on his robotic grasping claws.

And it has been a hit--and a miss. The show's depiction of the Japanese as brooding, karate-obsessed freaks has neck-chopped a nerve among the Japanese, who maintain that Canadians invented martial arts as a way to protect their delicious, wholesome fermented corn beverage. There is some merit to the charge: After all, this show is created by Brits about the Japanese. Little wonder they're portrayed as an eccentric people obsessed with strange contests--versus, say, their portrayal on "Iron Chef," a show produced by the Japanese, the premise of which is this crazy multimillionaire gourmand who lives in a castle pits famous chefs against each other in elaborate cooking contests. Or, say, "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge," also produced in Japan, which revolves around two warriors who make competing teams run through insanely bone-crunching obstacle courses. Gee, where'd the queen-worshiping teethpeople get that idea?

The only difference is that in "Banzai," the contests are more patently gross and absurd. On one recent episode, the "Dog Poo Challenge" saw two businessmen slipping their feet into a series of dress shoes, one of which was filled with dog shit. Ha! Another bit involved "Mr. Shake Hands Man," the obsequious Japanese interviewer who excitedly shook hands with Jennifer Love Hewitt for more than a minute while asking her questions. Hee! Another bit saw two supermodels trying to blow a chocolate ball through a tube into each other's mouths--thus leading, presumably, to the choco-riffic ruin of one of their careers.

Ha ha ha! Okay, my hilarity bladder is full. "Banzai" is pretty funny. However, a question arises. There's nothing wrong with having a camp attitude toward Japan's more eccentric pastimes, but why must we co-opt these gentle folk and fashion our own stereotype-riddled images of their craziness through shows such as "Banzai"? It smacks of a certain kind of cultural presumption, of an ironic sensibility that's a bit too developed. Al and the Qaedas will not be pleased! Judo neck-chop to your irony!