KNAPPSTER George Knapp is a longtime reporter and anchor for KLAS Channel 8.

Thursday, December 11, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Knappster: Kerry's f-bomb shocks White House kindergarten teachers

By George Knapp

Back in the ol' grad school days, I recall being introduced to an obscure but eminently useful term that has some political relevance this week. A rhetoric professor told the class back then about Anglo-Saxon fricatives. Fricatives, you see, are consonant sounds formed by forcing air through a narrow channel, say, the upper teeth and tongue.

All the best swear words rely on fricatives, the prof informed us. Think about it--the p, t, f and k sounds are all fricatives, as are the s, sh and th sounds. Try coming up with a good swear word that doesn't have one of those in it. Of course, the f-word has two fricative sounds, which is only one reason it's reigned as the English language's best and most versatile curse word for five centuries.

The Bush White House is all atwitter because Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry used the f-word in a recent interview with Rolling Stone. Kerry was referring to how the Bush administration has handled the Iraq situation. He didn't realize, he said, that the Bushies would "fuck it up" as much as they clearly have. White House emissaries wasted little time in demanding an apology for this outrageous language. It seems they've never heard the word used in any political discourse and were just shocked...shocked that a grown man would have a passing familiarity with the term.

I'm sure the f-bomb has never been uttered by any of the sainted, born-again Bush schoolmarms. They probably had to look it up in the dictionary just to figure out what it meant. My guess, then, is that this is the first administration in American history to never invoke the term. You can be certain that plain-speaking presidents like Truman and LBJ used the f-word on occasion. Devout Quaker Dick Nixon (now, there's a name with some fricatives) sprinkled the f-word throughout his infamous taped conversations. It seems likely that Bill Clinton had reason to use the word too. Oh, but not the reverends and kindergarten teachers now occupying the White House.

The f-word has been around since the 1500s, derived from a combination of Dutch, low German and Middle English terms meaning "to strike, to penetrate, or to copulate." Of course, in the centuries since, it has become an incredibly versatile word. It's a noun, it's a verb, it's an adverb and an adjective, and is in a class by itself for made-up words, such as abso-fucking-lutely. Despite its many uses, it still retains a certain amount of power, but you would be hardpressed to find anyone outside of a Sunday school class (and certainly few readers of Rolling Stone) who is shocked by its use anymore. That is, except for the prissies in the White House.

This isn't just my opinion. It is also that of the FCC. The Federal Communications Commission has recently issued an official opinion about whether the f-word is obscene. The case stems from an on-air, offhand comment made by U2 singer Bono during the Golden Globes ceremonies back in January, in which Bono used the f-word as an adjective. The FCC ruled in October that this is not obscene because, in the context, it wasn't used to describe sexual organs or activity. The same certainly could be said for John Kerry's utterance. He wasn't describing any forbidden love at the White House. He used the f-word to describe the handling of the Iraq situation. Knappster would wager that millions of Americans have used this exact same phrase to describe the mess in Iraq.

Wanna know what's obscene? I'd say it's obscene to lie about the reasons for a war, right down to specific numbers for imaginary weapons of mass destruction, then lie about the "mission being accomplished." I'd say it's obscene to wrap oneself in the mantle of the 9-11 tragedy, but do everything possible to thwart an investigation into what went wrong in the first place. It's obscene to grant huge sweetheart deals to corporate war profiteers because they have friends in the White House. It's obscene to brag about how the economy is really turning around without mentioning why it got screwed up in the first place. It's obscene to commit future generations of Americans to hundreds of billions in debt while granting huge tax breaks to corporate fat cats who are now plowing portions of their booty back into a massive re-election fund for the guys who gave them the tax breaks in the first place.

There are more than enough obscenities in Washington to go around. The use of the f-word isn't exactly at the top of the list.

Tales of yesteryear

Last week's story about Knappster's adventures in Yelm, Wash., prompted an intriguing note from local journalist Rob Schlegel, who writes for the Las Vegas Bugle. Back in the early '70s, Schlegel was a reporter for the Lacey Leader in Lacey, Wash. The owner and publisher of the paper was legendary Nevada newsman Bob Brown, who went on to run the fabled Valley Times newspaper in North Las Vegas, now defunct.

Schlegel recalls the day that a man named Joe Agosto drove up to the paper, his white shirt splattered with blood and the window of his Cadillac blown out from gunfire. At the time, Agosto owned a tiny nightclub in Yelm. It was clear that he knew Brown well. Years later, Schlegel would see Agosto's name up in lights in Las Vegas. Agosto had become a show producer at the Tropicana, but was secretly a Mafia operative who helped skim millions for the mob.

"I clearly remember that the shooting incident in Yelm was mob-related," Schlegel recalls, "but can't remember if that knowedge was public or if it came from Bob Brown."

Names and faces

Prominent Houston defense attorney Dick DeGuerin recently visited with his new client, Sandy Murphy, inside the women's prison in North Las Vegas. DeGuerin has signed on to represent Murphy in her new trial in the Ted Binion case. While in Las Vegas, we are told, he interviewed at least three local attorneys about joining the team, including Robert Glennen, Michael Christalli and Herb Sachs. Sachs has been part of the Murphy defense team for a few years now and helped win a new trial for his client. It's uncertain which of the three will make the final cut, but it seems likely that Sachs will continue to play some role in the high-profile case. ... Vince Spilotro, son of the late rackets boss Tough Tony Spilotro, is selling off some family mementos on eBay. A recent posting offers for sale "personal items from one of the most notorious mobsters of all time," including handwritten jailhouse letters from Tony to his wife, Nancy, as well as some classic family photos of the mobster at home. ... A decision by Judge Phil Pro to dismiss a lawsuit filed by Aerotech Inc. against Clark County will not be the last word on this case. An Aerotech executive hinted to Knappster that the company will be issuing a statement soon concerning the terrible fire and explosion that leveled Aerotech's Las Vegas plant back in October 2001, and about possible future legal strategies. ... It's interesting to see that state officials have quietly pulled Nevada's money out of a troubled investment fund. A few weeks ago, Treasurer Brian Krolicki came unglued when a local TV station reported that there were problems with Strong Capital Management. Krolicki's office issued a news release, demanding a retraction by the station I work for, KLAS Channel 8, and even posted strongly worded comments on the state website, assuring everyone there was nothing wrong with Strong Capital and that the state's money was in no danger. Lo and behold, the state has now transferred all of its cash to another, less controversial fund.