Thursday, February 06, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Music: Jerks to the end

Circle Jerks revive SoCal-slacker swagger

By Newt Briggs

Talking with Circle Jerks frontman Keith Morris, it's easy to suspect that he's mocking you with his lies. After all, Morris--the fortysomething slacker who penned such SoCal bratcore classics as "World Up My Ass," "When the Shit Hits the Fan" and "I Just Want Some Skank"--has never been known for his sincerity. One moment in particular stands out from a recent interview with the Mercury:

Mercury: So--besides original guitarist Greg Hetson--who are you guys touring with now?

Keith Morris: Well, there's Heime Zobotnik on bass.

M: You're gonna have to spell that.

KM: Let's see, that's H-E-I-M-E. And the last name is Z-O-B-O-T-ahhh-N-I-K.

M: Okay.

KM: And he's on bass. Actually, stand-up bass--like bass-fiddle. You know, cello and such.

M: Really?

KM: Uh-huh. And on the percussions we have, um, his brother...Fletcher.

M: Fletcher Zobotnik? Don't get me wrong, but those kinda sound like made-up names. Are you telling me the truth?

KM: Absolutely.

M: Are you sure?

KM: Yeah.

Despite Morris' assurances, an Internet search did not uncover a single reference to either of the supposed Zobotnik brothers. In fact, several recent show reviews identified a rhythm section composed of latter-day Jerks bassist Zander Schloss and ex-Geraldine Fibbers drummer Kevin Fitzgerald.

Still--putting aside issues of validity and reliability--Morris can certainly spin a yarn. Like the one about how Chuck Berry showed up at a show in St. Louis to jam with the Jerks.

"He told the club owner that night that we were one of the greatest rock 'n' roll bands he'd ever seen," says Morris. "He came up on stage and the kids were like flipping out."

Or the one about how he once stumbled upon the Doors practicing in a garage near Manhattan Beach.

"I was hanging out with a couple of friends in this garage and there was a hole punched through one wall into an adjacent garage," Morris says. "We started to hear this music from the other garage, and I thought, `Wow, this sort of sounds like The Doors.' So I poked my head through the hole to see what was going on, and I noticed that the keyboard player had blond hair and big, blond mutton chops. Then I noticed that the lead singer was dancing around in just a pair of pants. He didn't have a shirt on, and he had like longish, curly hair. And I was like, `This is the Doors. How fucking cool is this?'"

He even has a tale about Las Vegas--one that he doesn't enjoy telling nearly as much as the previous two. On July 28, 1995, the Circle Jerks rolled up to the Huntridge Theater only to find that the ceiling had quite literally come crashing down on their tour.

"As soon as we got there, we were told that the roof had collapsed and the show was canceled," says Morris. "We didn't have anywhere else to go, so we just set up our equipment in the parking lot and played for the 30 or 40 people who were still there."

According to Morris, though, it was just another stop on "the worst road trip ever." "That was the ill-fated tour when our guitar player decided that everything was going wrong and the record company didn't care about us and they weren't doing anything for the record. So, just a little under halfway through the trip, he decided that he'd had enough and he just up and quit."

Now, eight years later, the Circle Jerks return to the Huntridge, prepared to purge themselves of the ghosts of tours past. Actually, some of them might have more fiscal matters in mind.

"This tour is all about one thing: cashing in," says Morris.

He laughs, but it might be the most candid thing he's said all day.