THE HOMEOWNER

Thursday, February 06, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

The Homeowner: An open letter to a bug chaser

By Mike Prevatt

Dear "Carlos":

Um, hi there. Let me introduce myself. I'm Mike, and I'm one of a million or so Rolling Stone readers and/or mediaphiles who caught wind of your participation in an article called "In Search of Death" by Gregory A. Freeman (issue #915). As you might recall, you anonymously shared your exploits as a "bug chaser," or someone who actively seeks contracting HIV through unprotected sex (barebacking) with infected men. You seem to find this sort of activity thrilling, rebellious and empowering. Since you felt so strongly about the topic, I figure you'd appreciate my own equally impassioned sentiments.

Surely you're aware of the uproar you and Mr. Freeman have caused, thanks to your nonchalant candor and his questionable reporting (already, his sources say his statistics are erroneous, his quotes incorrect). Perhaps you've read or heard the screeds delivered by conservative blowhards such as Sean Hannity, or fellow homos Andrew Sullivan and Dan Savage, regarding the irresponsible behavior of people like yourself. Maybe you've been reading open letters on the Net every day since the piece first hit newsstands and mailboxes, and this message seems no different than any of those.

But it is different. While everyone else is bemoaning the sensationalism and sloppiness of the article, I have another pressing issue to grapple with. You see, it's pricks like you who make it harder than it already is to live as a gay man. You've given me yet another aspect of the homeowner routine to worry about. So, sit down, Mr. Rebel Without a Conscience--I'm about to go Bill O'Reilly on your ass.

Now, I'm not going to start whining about the piece being done in the first place. Even if there were only 10 people in the country aggressively infecting people with a virus that cannot be contained or cured, it's worth informing the public about, if only to spur awareness and stress the need for increased HIV prevention education. But no, apparently there's a whole subculture of you on the Net singing the praises of "knocking up" a brother.

All the fuss about the RS article should come as no surprise--this issue of HIV in the gay community is a touchy one, for sure. The neg crowd supports the poz crowd, but when it comes to sex, the former don't seem to want anything to do with the latter. After years of declining HIV transmissions in the mid-'90s, a spike in new contractions has befallen our kin once again. Furthermore, just as we were getting used to using condoms during sex, some of us realized that since some people diagnosed with HIV weren't dying from it, HIV seemed manageable, so why bother with that stupid latex shit?

You see, unlike yourself, I value human life. I don't believe people have the right to kill themselves or anyone else. I'm staunchly anti-death penalty, and my brain and my heart have been debating abortion and euthanasia issues all my life. Call me paranoid, call me a hypochondriac (I'm both), but you are a threat to human life, be it your own or someone else's.

While you ebulliently look for someone to dump a load of poisoned spunk inside you, the overwhelming majority of us are sweating bullets while also trying to dodge them. For the rest of us without a death wish, there's no thrill in playing Russian roulette with someone's potentially toxic seed. There's no thrill in getting tested every six months, worrying ourselves sick for a week as to whether we might be carrying what is still a life-threatening disease--or worse, stressing over who we might've unknowingly infected--even if we've played safe(r). You, however, find the whole game to be one big adrenaline rush--something to make sex fun again, free from the constraints of intimacy-diminishing prophylactics and other aspects of responsible social interaction. HIV is serious shit, and you play it like the lottery.

And if gay men are freely swapping the virus now, what's next--HIV snipers getting thrills from infecting unsuspecting negative partners? You've already admitted to wanting to become a "gift-giver," or one who willingly shares his HIV with others, once you contract it. "If I know that he's negative and I'm fucking him, it sort of gets me off," you say. Gets you off?! Have you devalued the potency of sexual intimacy so much with your "several hundred" fuck-buddies that your threshold can't allow you to appreciate, say, a good ol'-fashioned blowjob?

Hey, asshole, listen up: I don't know if you're faking it to scare some sense into the real bug chasers, or if you're really a self-serving fuckstick with zero regard for anyone but yourself. Given how your unsafe attitude really isn't too far removed from millions of other young-and-dumb homos who couldn't be bothered with the obligation to protect themselves and others because it might impair gratification, I have to assume you and your sexual daredevil act are for real. And that scares the bejesus out of the insecure newbie writing this letter.

I understand people are living just fine, perhaps even better, since obtaining HIV, and ultimately, adults should be able to decide what they do with their own bodies. But this does not change the fact that people are dying from HIV and AIDS complications every day. Your sexual predilections tempt death. You threaten the gift of life with a so-called gift of HIV. That's one lump of coal I hope to never find in my stocking.

So, on behalf of the rest of us doing our Darwinistic damndest to enjoy and prolong life, I'll quit vilifying you long enough to pray you come to your senses and stop this recklessness before you do harm to yourself or anyone else. Only through responsible sexual activity can we hope to return to the days when barebacking was only a concern of equestrian jockeys, and sex was something that added to life without threatening it.

Yours, Mike

The Homeowner appears biweekly. Send your comments, questions and nude pics (especially if you look like Matt Skiba) to oughtabeinporn@yahoo.com.