THE HOMEOWNER

Thursday, June 05, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

The Homeowner: Satellites, sodomy and senators

By Mike Prevatt

I am by nature a very scatterbrained person. How I get anything organized is beyond my already aberrant comprehension. This has especially rung true for the past month, a time when leaving the house and driving away has often meant returning two minutes later because I've either forgotten a necessary component of my already well-occupied man-bag, or I'm having an OCD moment and I need to once again secure all the locks.

So, given all the frenetic energy going on upstairs, I'm going to riff on a few things that have been particularly recurrent in my thoughts, rather than bother to focus on one theme you'll probably stop caring about by the third paragraph anyway.

Radio ga(y)-ga(y): I have been reluctant to discuss OutQ, the 24/7 gay-themed station that Sirius Satellite Radio introduced April 15, because I just recently praised the subscription-based service in "Aural Intercourse," my biweekly music column. At the risk of sounding like a sycophant or company spokesman, I feel the need to finally say something about the groundbreaking station because it has taken on the role of a homo HQ.

OutQ has been on the air for about 45 days now, and already it has become not only the soundtrack of my daily freeway crawl, but a growing broadcast entity that finally serves a sizable and politically engaged listenership: gay America. (And gay Earth, for that matter. International web surfers can stream the station from the OutQ page at sirius.com.) Up until now, there hasn't been a single radio or cable station devoted to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender folks, which makes up roughly 10 percent of the country's population. And let's face it: "Queer as Folk" and the occasional MTV public service ad don't cut the mustard, even if they're something rather than nothing.

Now, OutQ features five three-hour programs (some repeating to fill late-night and weekend downtime when the DJs are off) that allow gay-related issues to be discussed, as well as hourly news updates that concern homeowners. What's so amazing is the variety of people who call in during the programs to chat on-air. At least once an hour you can expect to hear from a listener who identifies himself as heterosexual. The same frequency of input goes for gay truck drivers. (So that explains why highway rest areas are so riddled with glory holes!)

The DJs range from the goofy and titillating (the "Loveline"-esque homo/lesbian team of Derek Hartley and Romaine Patterson) to the politically charged (gay journalist Michelangelo Signorile). Whatever they are, they're never boring or slick, yet always sharp behind the mic. Their charm is probably the reason there are so few homophobic instigators ringing the station for on-air hatemongering (a surprise, given the station is unapologetically left-leaning and, in these times, outright radical in its anti-Bush virulence).

While the Net offers free access, hearing the station outside of your laptop means subscribing to Sirius at $12.95 a month, and buying components equipped to receive the service's 100 satellite streams (both music and talk). If you're like me and hardly sated by your biweekly dose of The Advocate, this media outlet is revelatory enough to spring for the whole caboodle.

Anal sex to get its day in court: As you may know, especially if you've been tuning into OutQ with any regularity, the Supreme Court is preparing to weigh in on a case that could overturn state sodomy laws. It will hear the appeal of two gay Texans, who in 1998 were caught engaging in same-sex intercourse by police, called to the scene by a neighbor who falsely claimed an intruder was entering their apartment. They were arrested and fined $200, but have fought the charge all the way.

If the court overturns the guilty verdict, it will question the constitutionality of sodomy laws still on the books in 13 states (Nevada deleted its sodomy law several years ago). In 1986, the court ruled in favor of states' rights to enact such laws. With recent polls suggesting Americans both straight and gay want government out of the bedroom, and the infrequent enforcement of such laws (which largely define sodomy as anal and oral sex between men, having dropped the criminalization of non-procreative sex between man and woman), gay rights groups are optimistic the court will side with ideas of privacy and equality. Their conservative equals are also hopeful the same court that "elected" George W. Bush will vote in favor of existing laws. It'll be a tight one.

New meaning to chasing bears and pigs: One such conservative fearful of legalized man sex is Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., who publicly lumped gay intercourse with bestiality, polygamy, incest and pedophilia. His April 7 comments touched off a firestorm of criticism from many politicians, gay rights activists and commentators, skeptical of the leadership abilities of someone that intolerant. But the GOP--and the White House--supports Santorum's views, spinning them with their praise of his inclusiveness and compassion. Yup, that's compassionate conservatism for you. Still haven't registered to vote yet?

The Homeowner appears biweekly. Send your comments, questions and nude pics (especially if you look like Alessandro Nivola) to oughtabeinporn@yahoo.com.