Thursday, March 13, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

About Schmidt

5 stars. Rated R. 125 minutes. Jack Nicholson is getting better with age. As Warren Schmidt, a newly retired insurance salesman looking back on his life and not liking what he sees, he loses most of his Jackisms to supply a frighteningly real character. Full of great supporting performances, including Dermot Mulroney as a mullet-sporting waterbed salesman, and Kathy Bates as a free-spirited divorcee, the film is both funny and scary. Director Alexander Payne is a maestro of dark comedy, as he proved with Election. Also starring Hope Davis and Howard Hessman.--BG

Adaptation

5 stars. Rated R. 114 minutes. A mind-bender starring Nicolas Cage as twin brothers, Charlie and Donald Kaufman, both screenwriters with entirely different sensibilities. The film, directed by Spike Jonze and written by the actual Charlie Kaufman, is in some ways a true story as Kaufman was supposed to adapt Susan Orlean's book The Orchid Thief for the movies but ran into some creative difficulties. The result is the most unusual take on writer's block and creative hardship since the Coen brothers' Barton Fink. Also stars Meryl Streep as Orlean and Chris Cooper as a toothless orchid poacher. An amazing movie.--BG

Amen

Not reviewed. Not rated. 130 minutes. Filmmaker Costa-Gavras (the incredible Missing, the mundane Mad City) tells the story of a confused SS officer (Ulrich Tukur) trying to convince the Vatican of impending dangers posed to European Jews. A chemical pellet he's created with the understanding that it would be used to treat drinking water is instead being used to exterminate prisoners in death camps.

Biker Boyz

1 1/2 stars. Rated PG-13. 110 minutes. Whereas being in a bike gang used to mean being an outlaw on some level, the motorcycle clubs depicted in this film are as rowdy as competing suburban softball leagues. Those expecting a film where they will be immersed in the thrills of the motorcyclist's lifestyle will surely come away disappointed. The motorcycle action is secondary to the melodrama, indifferently filmed by director Reggie Rock Blythewood. Stars Laurence Fishburne, Derek Luke and Kid Rock.--GC

Bringing Down the House

1 1/2 stars. PG-13. 105 minutes. The extreme talents of Steve Martin, Eugene Levy and Queen Latifah cant' save this one from being an insulting, embarrassing mess of a movie. A tight-assed lawyer (Martin) believes he has set a date with a skinny, white lawyer on the Internet. When Latifah shows up instead, looking for the lawyer to take her criminal case, all sorts of warm and fuzzy racial slurs are thrown in our faces. This is a throwback to crap films like Carbon Copy and Soul Man, movies that act as modern-day minstrel shows. Levy generates a few smirks, but that's about it.--BG

Catch Me If You Can

5 stars. Rated PG-13. 140 minutes. Leonardo Di Caprio is as charming and charismatic as he's ever been as Frank Abagnale Jr., the famous scam artist who bilked millions out of businesses with false checks, impersonating everything from doctors to airline pilots. Steven Spielberg directs a cast that includes Tom Hanks as the man pursuing Abagnale, and Christopher Walken as Abagnale's loyal father. The film is a real find, flamboyant without being hammy, expressive without the melodrama.--MP

Chicago

4 stars. Rated PG-13. 113 minutes. After last year's Moulin Rouge, a film some consider the musical comeback kid of film, this taut, flashy spectacle starring Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Richard Gere should propel that sentiment further. Bob Fosse's musical comes to the big screen packed with 14 song-and-dance numbers that are often brilliantly envisioned. The stars might not be ready for the stage, but their capable voices shine within the constructs of a motion picture. It might be too tidy and slick, but it is never too entertaining.--MP

Cradle 2 the Grave

3 1/2 stars. Rated R. 100 minutes. Jet Li finally gets it right in an American-made movie, playing a Taiwanese Intelligence man helping a professional thief (DMX) rescue his kidnapped daughter. The action is top notch, with admirable camerawork and a nice soundtrack. Gabrielle Union makes a nice crossover to action fare, and Tom Arnold provides decent comic relief in full twitchy mode. A sci-fi subplot almost wrecks the movie, but too much is done right for the film to go wrong in the end. This is a decent, meathead of a movie.--BG

Daredevil

3 1/2 stars. PG-13. 96 minutes. The producers of this film have managed to avoid sucking while staying true to the story of the blind Marvel comic superhero who kicks ass in Hell's Kitchen. Ben Affleck plays Matt Murdock, compassionate lawyer by day, vengeful vigilante in red leather by night. The film is good, and can sit on the shelf beside Spider-Man without embarrassment. It is also better than the entire Batman series combined, especially that last one with Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. Also starring Jennifer Garner as the acrobatic Elektra and Michael Clarke Duncan as Kingpin.-FMC

Dark Blue

4 1/2 stars. Rated R. 118 minutes. If it's a balanced and realistic portrayal of police you're looking for, stick with "Cops." If you want a great movie about police officers, this film is your answer. At the center of the movie is Kurt Russell as a cop who has lived so long with the notion that one must break the law to enforce it that it takes a series of traumatic events to make him see that he has become exactly like the criminals he is chasing. We've come a long way since Adam 12 and Dragnet. Also stars Ving Rhames.--FMC

Darkness Falls

3 stars. Rated PG-13. 75 minutes. A woman wrongfully hanged 150 years ago comes back to haunt the town of Darkness Falls as the Tooth Fairy in this horror film that borrows a bit from the likes of The Blair Witch Project and A Nightmare on Elm Street. It's a good horror movie in that it keeps up the suspense at all times. Perhaps it is somewhat lacking in originality, but if you are looking for a good fright, it will do the trick.--FMC

Deliver Us From Eva

1 1/2 stars. Rated R. 105 minutes. Each character in this generally inoffensive but uninteresting comedy amounts to caricature, without dynamic or depth. The plot, in which a man (L.L. Cool J) is commissioned by three husbands of a group of sisters to distract sister-in-law Eva (Gabrielle Union) from interfering with their marriages, is the stuff of bad sitcoms. The performances are terrible.--MP

Final Destination 2

Not reviewed. Rated R. 100 minutes. Characters escape death, only to be singled out for even grislier demises for screwing with death's plan. The key word that seems to be popping up in descriptions of this film is "gory." Ali Larter and Tony Todd return from the first film, with actress A.J. Cook getting a starring role.

Gangs of New York

5 stars. Rated R. 168 minutes. Martin Scorsese directs his best film since Goodfellas with this sprawling epic about the clash of rival gangs in 19th century New York. Daniel Day-Lewis is a marvel as Bill the Butcher, a knife-wielding "Nativist" who has zero tolerance for immigrants. Leonardo Di Caprio is excellent as Amsterdam, a greasy hoodlum seeking revenge for the death of a loved one. The film looks fantastic, and shows that Scorsese remains one of cinema's best directors. Also starring Cameron Diaz and Henry Thomas.--BG

Gods and Generals

1/2 star. Rated PG-13. 220 minutes. It looks as if a bunch of Civil War enthusiasts got together for a good old time in this nearly four-hour slopfest. Ted Turner executive produced this tripe, which has a distinct slant toward glorifying the Confederacy. The likes of Robert Duvall and Stephen Lang make asses of themselves as historical figures, and the battle scenes go from one to another with a complete lack of distinction. Rent Ken Burns' Civil War documentary, or go play volleyball for a while. Just stay away from this garbage, because it will surely wreck one-sixth of your day.--BG

The Guru

2 1/2 stars. Rated R. 94 minutes. A Hindu man (Jim Mistry) travels to America in search of fame, and winds up a sex guru. Heather Graham co-stars as a porn star, sans roller skates this time. The novelty of this film is its portrayal of Hindu people within the context of the American dream, so ethnic jokes blanket the script. The movie owes a lot to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which sometimes isn't a good thing, being that Wedding was a piece of cinematic Velveeta. Also stars Michael McKean and Marisa Tomei.--MP

The Hours

5 stars. Rated PG-13. 113 minutes. Three compelling stories set in three different times comprise this staggeringly beautiful adaptation of the Michael Cunningham novel. Nicole Kidman (winner of the Golden Globe for best actress in a drama) is heartbreaking as author Virginia Woolf, with Julianne Moore and Meryl Streep equally brilliant as two women cosmically tied to her writings. While the movie takes place in separate time periods, the direction and editing make the storytelling and time switches seamless. A great piece of filmmaking, and winner of the Golden Globe for best picture (drama).--BG

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

2 stars. PG-13. 116 minutes. Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey make for a decent screen coupling, but the movie around them is confused and corny. A journalist (Hudson) agrees to write a column about trying to scare away a man within 10 days of relationship time. She's unaware that her target male (McConaughey) has made a wager that he can make a woman fall in love with him in the same amount of time. It sounds, and is, stupid, but the stars almost make it work until the screenplay craps out and becomes your average Meg Ryan romance flick. Too bad, because it had a nasty little charm going for it.--BG

Jungle Book 2

Not reviewed. Rated G. 72 minutes. After 30 years, Disney delivers a Jungle Book sequel, complete with all the original animated characters and new versions of original songs such as "Bare Necessities" and "I Wanna Be Like You." Voices include John Goodman and Haley Joel Osment.

Kangaroo Jack

1 star. Rated PG. 87 minutes. This is a delightful journey into an existential world where the innocence of animals is savagely violated by greed, betrayal and lust. It's a story of nobility, with nature defying all attempts to be corrupted by the hands of man, and the victory of intangible forces over raw human evil. Only kidding, folks, this movie about a CGI kangaroo really blows, and you are advised to skip it (After the Full Metal Critic submitted his opinion, America went on to make this movie No. 1 at the box office on its opening weekend).--FMC

The Life of David Gale

1 1/2 stars. Rated R. 130 minutes. Kevin Spacey has starred in a series of dogs since his Oscar win for American Beauty, and the trend continues with this transparent, unenlightening approach to capital punishment. Spacey stars as an anti-capital punishment activist who is sentenced to die for murder, and his overblown performance seems to scream "for your consideration." Lost is the powerful control and subtlety of his earlier roles. Now, he seems to prefer schmaltz. Also stars Kate Winslet and Laura Linney.--MP

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

5 stars. PG-13. 179 minutes. While this reviewer does have a few "geek" quibbles regarding this continuation of Tolkien's grand adventure, this film still qualifies as the best of the year, and further proof that director Peter Jackson is the right man for the job. Part two is every bit as good as part one, and will leave viewers clamoring for the next and final chapter. Featuring outstanding CGI effects, including an excellent Gollum, this is a terrific cinematic achievement.--GS

National Security

1 star. Rated PG-13. 90 minutes. Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn play security guards who like to act like cops in ways that are shockingly unfunny. A tired genre film with a racist heart, and very few good laughs. A return to lousy films for Lawrence after his funny concert film, Runteldat, and yet another bad pairing for Zahn and director Dennis Dugan, who worked together on the terrible Saving Silverman. Also stars a white-haired Eric Roberts doing his best Gary Busey.--BG

Old School

3 1/2 stars. Rated R. 91 minutes. Those of you in dire need of a Will Ferrell fix, this one's for you. Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn and Ferrell star as a trio of friends who start a fraternity willing to accept anyone as a member, college not included. Director Todd Phillips (Road Trip) follows in the great tradition of Caddyshack and Animal House with a film that is vulgar, yet good-natured with a big heart. Ferrell makes every moment he is on screen worth watching. Also stars Elisa Cuthbert in a small role, but she's scantily clad, so knock yourselves out!--BG

The Pianist

4 stars. Rated R. 148 minutes. Roman Polanski's latest film, winner of last year's Palm d'Or (Best Picture) at the Cannes Film Festival, is an adaptation of Wladyslaw Szpilman's (played by Adrien Brody) memoirs, the story of a pianist and Holocaust survivor. What gives his story its transcendence is his passion for music. Even in his most malnourished, delirious state, he can still play air piano to some of the more complicated pieces of music ever put to paper. Polanski is a natural to bring this story to the screen, given his own survival of World War II Poland as a child. The film doesn't go into the death camps, but remains focused on Szpilman's singular survival, his dedication to living and his muse.--MP

Poolhall Junkies

5 stars. Rated R. 94 minutes. From how many different angles can you shoot a pool table, the ball, the cues, the players? The answer is, from as many angles as you see in Poolhall Junkies, and no more. An excellent story of life, love and major billiard hustling, this film played at last year's CineVegas. Excellent casting all around, including Rick Schroeder, Christopher Walken, Chazz Palminteri and the late Rod Steiger. Not a lot of special effects, but just the right amount of strobe and slow motion.--WGR

The Quiet American

3 1/2 stars. Rated R. 118 minutes. A sad movie about a devastating love triangle, with the origins of the Vietnam War as a backdrop. Michael Caine (nominated for an Oscar) is excellent as a British journalist taking refuge from a tedious marriage in Saigon, where he has taken a young lover and smokes lots of opium. A na•ve American (Brendan Fraser) comes to Saigon and threatens to disrupt the journalist's fantasyland. Caine and Fraser deliver excellent performances.--BG

Rabbit-Proof Fence

4 1/2 stars. PG. 94 minutes. Three aboriginal girls escape labor encampment and trek across Australia in a bid to return home, using a rabbit-proof fence as their directional guide. Director Phillip Noyce has cast three amazing young actresses in this true story about a terrible Australian law that lasted into the '70s, in which the government would essentially kidnap "half-white" aboriginal children, train them as domestic servants and incorporate them into white society. Kenneth Branagh is magnificent as a racist, corrupt official. Excellent soundtrack by Peter Gabriel.--BG

The Recruit

4 stars. Rated PG-13. 105 minutes. In a movie about CIA recruits, it's good to have some secrets. Unfortunately, the marketing team for this Al Pacino thriller has chosen to give away many of its secrets in the preview trailer. If you should come into contact with the commercial before seeing the film, cover up your ears and eyes and break into song. Colin Ferrell is excellent as a CIA recruit getting put through an increasingly hard test, and Pacino delivers a great performance as a CIA trainer.--FMC

Shanghai Knights

1 1/2 stars. PG-13. 114 minutes. A sequel to the likeable Shanghai Noon, which boasted a fun, cartoon Western setting, the further adventures of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson prove to be irritating and useless. In search of his father's murderer, Chon Wang (Chan) heads for England with partner Roy (Wilson) in tow. They confront various historical figures such as Queen Victoria and Jack the Ripper, and crash a vehicle into Stonehenge. They also befriend a street urchin by the name of Charlie Chaplin, whose grating accent will make you wish you had no ears. Even Chan's fight scenes are lame.--BG

Tears of the Sun

4 stars. Rated R. 118 minutes. This Navy SEAL thriller, with Bruce Willis as a mission commander who has a crisis of conscience while doing his job in Nigeria, stands as a good Willis picture, despite a little overkill in the end. An elite team of SEALs is sent into a Nigerian civil war to extract a doctor and some civilians, but things don't go as planned when the good doctor (Monica Belluci) refuses to leave the refugees behind. Those critics who are saying this is Willis' best action picture since Die Hard aren't too far off.--FMC

Two Weeks Notice

2 stars. Rated PG-13. 100 minutes. Sandra Bullock needs to stop. Not stop making movies. She just needs to stop making the same movie over and over again. This time she stars as an attorney who is chief counsel for a spoiled rich land developer (Hugh Grant) who eventually becomes a love interest in pure Sandra Bullock movie style. If you've seen other Bullock films like While You Were Sleeping and Miss Congeniality, you've already seen this movie.--FMC