Thursday, March 13, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Local View: We don't need no education

By Paul R. Brown

Some people say that we under-fund education in Nevada. They say that even Mississippi funds education better than we do. Who cares?

If the choice is between raising my taxes or cutting the education budget, then I say cut education. Hey, I've got Lexus payments to make and my gated community just raised its maintenance fees.

Besides, what has education ever done for you? Okay, so you know that the circumference of a circle is pi r squared. Big deal. That and three dollars will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

Education eats up the biggest part of our state's budget. So, if you need to whack $700 million from the budget, go to where the money is.

Let's start with school libraries. Who needs them? We don't even fund education enough for students to get books, so exactly what are we putting in these libraries? Besides, books are a passing fad. They're just props for people to hold while drinking coffee. Cutting out libraries will save millions.

Next, let's look at class size. Teachers instruct 30 to 40 kids per classroom today. Let's bump that up to 50 or 60 kids a class. That will save big bucks and your child will be happier because the teacher will not be pestering him with personal attention.

All right, 60 kids to a classroom might violate fire codes. But what's the big deal? It's not like Great White will be doing its pyro act in classrooms. And, trust me, even if a fire breaks out, most kids will not die from burns. That's just alarmist talk from tax-and-spend liberals. (Most kids will die from smoke inhalation. You can bet on that. You can take it to the bank. You know, the one that pays next to nothing in taxes to support education.)

We should also eliminate all fine arts departments. Let's admit it, Las Vegas is a crass and gaudy town. What do we need fine arts for? It's a big waste of money. We've been teaching "drama" in our schools for decades, and to what end? Name one actor who's come out of our system?

Do we really need sports? Sure, we've produced baseball players, tennis stars and golfers, but at what price? I've heard from unimpeachable sources--local talk radio--that the school district spends $600 million a year on golf balls alone.

Let's 86 the school lunch program. Remember that kid who was hungry on Monday and ate the school lunch? He came back on Tuesday hungry again. The lunch program is a total failure. We need a program that feeds kids once and then they never get hungry again. Anything less is unfair to taxpayers. These goody-two-shoe programs, such as feeding children, need to be held accountable.

Besides, the Bible says, "The poor will always be among us." Okay, maybe the Chamber of Commerce had that inserted into the Bible, but it's still in there. The point is, we can't save the world, and we may as well start by not saving the children.

Take action today. Contact your state lawmakers and tell them to cut $700 million out of the education budget. Education. It's a luxury Nevada just can't afford.

Paul R. Brown is the Southern Nevada director of the Progressive Leadership Alliance of Nevada.