Thursday, March 20, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

CDVS

For the hordes of suburban white boys whose frenzied hormones felled the nurturing walls of adolescence during the spring of 1989, 2 Live Crew's As Nasty As They Wanna Be was like a brilliant (albeit somewhat puzzling) beacon in the darkness. From its X-rated rhymes to the thong-laden Bon Bons that graced its cover, As Nasty As They Wanna Be held the promise of adult pleasures untapped by Super Mario or Sour Patch Kids. Granted, we weren't entirely sure what it meant to "go splak" or "put her in the buck," but we knew we wanted to do these things (with all possible expedience). At the time, it didn't even matter that the album was at best an amateurish blend of South Beach bass and well-known hip-hop samples; we were enchanted by the possibilities of "My Seven Bizzos" and "Dirty Nursery Rhymes." Of course, our misguided hormonal appetites were soon challenged by disapproving parents who cried "smut" and "misogyny," but in our lusty confusion all we heard was "slut" and "Me So Horny."

And perhaps for a new generation of peach-fuzzed, acne-flecked Don Juans, Hot Action Cop will fulfill this purpose, initiating a fresh crop of wide-eyed youngsters to the mystical realm of hoochie mommas and club sluts. A predictable blend of Limp Bizkit-esque frat-rock and pilfered funk hooks (the lead to "Don't Want Her to Stay" is lifted directly from the Jackson 5), Hot Action Cop certainly has the makings of a post-pubescent tour de force. Consider, for example, "Fever for the Flava": "She got the power of the hoochie/ I got the fever for the flavor of the coochie/ Let's party hearty and rock 'n' roll/ We drink Bacardi and smoke a bowl." Hey, it's not Wordsworth, but to a 13-year-old, it's no doubt the sweet poetry of the good life.

So who wins the battle of the raunchified rap-rockers? Both certainly share a number of juvenile virtues: album covers that feature copious ass cleavage, a variety of metaphors for the female genitalia and at least one song based solely on the giving and receiving of oral pleasure. Still, only 2 Live Crew can claim pioneer status, having mucked its way through an endless series of obscenity trials and First Amendment lawsuits. And for that it deserves our recognition (if not our respect).--Newt Briggs