THE HOMEOWNER

Thursday, March 20, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

The Homeowner: Oscar's gay parade

By Mike Prevatt

Amid all the Oscar brouhaha, something has, to my knowledge, completely missed the mainstream press. While oddsmakers and critics pit Nicole Kidman against Renée Zellweger, fashionista hacks predict which designers will rule the red carpet and media stalwarts weigh in on the ethics of Miramax's militant advertising campaign, it has gone largely unreported that the 75th Academy Awards show this Sunday is the gayest one, like, ever.

"All award shows are gay, nimrod!" you might bellow. I can't argue with much of that comment, whether we look at it the dude-when-I-say-gay-I-mean-lame-not-gaaaaay way or the dude-how-many-dance-numbers-for-Gangs of New York-do-we-need-before-Debbie-Allen-turns-it-into-West Side Story? way. When I proclaim that this Oscar ceremony is one for the homeowners, I am referring to the number of nominees who are publicly gay, and the number of nominated films that deal with less-than-straight issues. Just looking at the amount of nods Chicago and The Hours have alone is a shock to the hetero system. So, allow me the honors--up for the best homosexuals in Hollywood awards, the nominees are:

¥ Chicago: Among its 13 nods, those who could make it to the Kodak Theater podium are first-time director Rob Marshall, screenwriter Bill Condon and executive producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron--all of whom are openly gay. Throw in Queen Latifah's wink-wink-nudge-nudge performance as a guard in a women's prison and the project's Broadway roots, and this film is bursting with fruit flavor.

¥ The Hours: Director Stephen Daldry (who was nominated two years ago for the most-excellent Billy Elliot) and famed producer Scott Rudin are this film and Our Team's best hopes for Oscars this year, but should the strongest competitor of Chicago win for best picture, it would be the most Sapphic film to do so.

¥ Far from Heaven: Though Dennis Quaid was snubbed for his supporting role as a gay man trapped in wedlock, out auteur Todd Haynes picked up a nom for best original screenplay.

¥ Talk to Her: Spanish filmmaking pioneer Pedro Almodovar gets snubbed by his country in the foreign film category, finds karmic justice by landing best director and best original screenplay nominations.

Throw in candidates and same-sex themes from Frida, Y Tu Mama También, Lilo & Stitch and others, and this year's Oscars could out-homo a pride parade. You might never know this, though, because the mainstream press has yet to really report on this. The gay media, on the other hand, have treated the phenomenon as sensationally as the outing of a former TV star.

And so they should. Oscar has not been kind to the Pink People, though there are scant exceptions. Elton John nabbed a song award for The Lion King (great, another damn show tune), and screenwriter Alan Ball scored for American Beauty. A few have been nominated--for one, Sir Ian McKellen got a supporting actor nomination for Lord of the Rings last year, though he went home empty-handed (unless you count Sugar Daddy Gandalf's jailbait date). Tom Hanks, who is straight, won a best actor statue for his portrayal of a gay man in 1993's Philadelphia (though he gave more lip service to that volleyball in Cast Away than his Philadelphia boyfriend, Antonio Banderas). And Hilary Swank's go at guyhood in 1999's Boys Don't Cry earned her Best Actress gold (nothing cynical, ageist or potentially homophobic comes to mind here, although it's late and I'm really tired).

Why is this even an issue? I mean, if the world is going to get over the scandalous idea that some people have intimate relationships with people from their own gender, shouldn't the gay community stop emphasizing its differences? Who cares if an actor or filmmaker or art director or choreographer (there isn't an award for fluffers yet, is there?) is gay or not--doesn't he or she deserve to win based on his or her own talents, which are usually not related to sexual orientation anyway? Isn't the biz PC enough?

For all you out there who think Hollywood is overrun by more fags than all of Pottery Barn, Banana Republic and Macaroni Grill combined, you're absolutely right. And yet, for some reason, it does its absolute damndest to enforce the closeting of its employees. (For an enlightening yet maddening read on Tinseltown's homophobic streak, pick up Why the Long Face? by out actor Craig Chester.) Way too often, these film industry workers--especially the actors--buy into the studio executives and casting agents' doomsday projections of moviegoer hysteria when it comes to coming out. So, the famous do everything to stay in. Why do you think rumors of gay celebrities are so pervasive? It's not just because seeing Kevin Spacey blow his top (no pun intended) in spin control mode is more fun than any of his post-American Beauty projects. It's because, somehow, being both gay and an actor is no longer acceptable.

Sunday's celluloid orgy won't see the industry's closet doors swinging open. But that's okay. The Oscar ballots reveal a bunch of emboldened individuals who've already snuck out, and for them the Academy stands to follow last year's overdue recognition to the field's African-Americans with an equally generous--if less historic--acknowledgment to Homo Hollywood. It's about time.

The Homeowner appears biweekly. Send your comments, questions and nude pics (especially if you look like Matt Skiba) to oughtabeinporn@yahoo.com.