Thursday, November 13, 2003
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Mercury World Report

The G-Sting of defeat

Last Thursday's indictment of current and former county commissioners presents 125 "overt acts" of them accepting bribes and engaging in corrupt behavior. The following are outtakes from extensive FBI wiretaps included in the indictments.

Dario Herrera

Dario Herrera: "I'll be paying your club a visit Friday. Think you can help me out?"

Mike Galardi: "You're covered, pal. Drinks, dinner, lap dances, you name it."

Herrera: "You got chicken wings?"

Galardi: "Whatever you want."

Herrera: "I want a bucket of hot wings."

Galardi: "Consider it done."

Herrera: "Spicy. Make that extra spicy."

Galardi: "No problem."

Herrera: "And a 12-pack of Heineken. You writing this down?"

Galardi: "Hold on. Let me get a pen. Okay."

Herrera: "And some of those little mini-hot dogs you eat with the toothpicks. Oh! And those tiny little pickles. Know what I'm talking about?"

Galardi: "I think they're called gherkins."

Herrera: "Yeah, some of those. Hm. What else? Know what I haven't had in ages?"

Galardi: "What?"

Herrera: "Moon pies. Remember those? Damn. I'm salivating just thinking about them."

Galardi: "No problem."

Herrera: "Some lap dances would be nice, too. Wait a sec. How do I know I won't be noticed?"

Galardi: "We've got a separate VIP entrance. Don't worry."

Herrera: "Well, just to be safe, add a glue-on moustache and fedora to your list. You think one of those rainbow wigs would draw too much attention?"

Erin Kenny

Erin Kenny: "Muaahaha! Muaahaha! How's that?"

Lance Malone: "Not bad. But you need more of a cackle. It's more mad scientist than wicked witch at this point. Try a higher octave."

Kenny: "Muaahaha! Muaahahahaha! Better?"

Malone: "Now that sounded evil. My spine is tingling. I think you've nailed it."

Kenny: "Thanks. I've been working on that for months. Now you try."

Malone: "Aw, Erin..."

Kenny: "Come on, Lance, loosen up. If we're being completely evil, we might as do it with flair, right? Now let's hear it."

Malone: "Mua. Ha. Ha. This is silly."

Kenny: "Is that what you call a diabolical laugh? That's a joke!"

Malone: "Muahaha."

Kenny: "We'll work on it. Oh, almost forgot. I need $10,000. I'm remodeling the bathroom. Is the First Bank of Galardi open for business?"

Malone: "Like 7-Eleven, 24 hours."

Kenny: "Muaahaha! Muuaahahahaa!"

Lance Malone

Lance Malone: "Dude, Erin says she wants more money."

Mike Galardi: "No shit?"

Malone: "Dude."

Galardi: "No shit."

Malone: "Dude!"

Galardi: "How much?"

Malone: "Ten thousand."

Galardi: "What can I get for that?"

Malone: "Let me check the flier she gave me...ah, there's a two-for-one special on expediting building inspections, and a 30 percent off sale on restrictive zoning for competitors. I think you can get all that, plus the bonus liquor license, for a little over 10. Plus, if you apply for the credit card, you get an immediate 5 percent off."

Galardi: "Sounds like a bargain. Tell her to throw in a free fire code inspection and we've got a deal."

Malone: "Mua. Ha. Ha."

Galardi: "What the hell was that?"

Mary Kincaid-Chauncey

Mike Galardi: "Hey Mary, how's it goin'?"

Mary Kincaid-Chauncey: "Shhh! Don't call me that anymore. You know, in case we're being wiretapped. My new codename is Grandma One. Now, do you have my knitting needles?"

Galardi: "What?"

Kincaid-Chauncey: "We discussed how Grandma One was going to need at least 5,000 'knitting needles' if she was going to put the 'patch' on your 'quilt' at the next 'sewing circle,' remember?"

Galardi: "Oh...yeah. Sure, 5,000 'knitting needles' coming right up, Mar...er, Grandma One."

Kincaid-Chauncey: "I have another favor to ask, Mike."

Galardi: "Anything you want."

Kincaid-Chauncey: "This is going to sound strange, but...oh well, out with it. I've always had this fantasy about being an exotic dancer, and I was wondering if--"

Galardi: "God, no. Don't say what I think you're going to say."

Kincaid-Chauncey: "--if it might be possible for me to come out to Cheetahs one of these nights and, well, perform for the gentlemen. Gravity hasn't exactly been kind to me over the years, but I think this sexy senior can still make a man blush."

Galardi: "Please, Mary. How about $50,000 instead?"

Kincaid-Chauncey: "This fantasy sure means a lot to me, Mike. Almost as much as a license for your new club means to you..."

Galardi: "God. Fine. Name the night."

Kincaid-Chauncey: "How about Saturday?"

Galardi: "Aw, shucks, Mary. I'd love to, but I can't. We're closed on Saturdays."