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Dancers with clothes

We know this is going to be hard for longtime Las Vegans to believe, but most places, when they talk about professional dancers, this is what they mean. In fact, if you happened to run into a stripper at an Akron PTA meeting, she would claim to be a cost overrun accountant. If you haven't seen ballet, you'll be surprised how much more exciting and beautiful it is than you thought. If you are a ballet fan, you certainly don't need us telling you to check out the dancers of the Kirov Ballet of St. Petersburg. They'll be at the Aladdin at 8 p.m Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $50-$250. Info: 785-5000

...but her friends call her 'Raspy Bitch'

It takes a certain amount of chutzpah to dub your comedy show the "Gravel-Throated Harpy Tour," so color us impressed. Brett Butler proves that Southern comedians don't have to pander to the "Dukes of Hazzard" stereotype to be successful. Somebody (probably a publicist) called her a Southern Lenny Bruce. But we prefer her own description, "a socialist with a gold card." She's at the Monte Carlo at 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Tickets are $35.75. You have to be 18 with I.D. to get in, presumably because of language, not nudity. If she was going to get naked, we think they would have told us. Info: 730-7160.

Do any of these graffiti guys have normal names?

How come you never see "Bob," "Chuck" or "Jennifer" spray-painted 12 feet high on a wall? I guess we'll just have to ask world-famous (really) artists Cope2 and Terrible Tkid-170 on Saturday. 5ive Finger Miscount continues to find new venues for its not-standard Las Vegas events. This time it's temporarily converting a kickboxing gym at 4305 E. Sahara Ave. into a gallery. The event features the above-mentioned artists as well as Ace-Ix Won, Amy Sol, 730 Crew, Mark T. Zeilman and Dray. There also will be special performances by Rock Steady Crew & Knuckle Head Zoo, and old-school hip hop and breakbeats by DJ Presto One and DJ Soulrane. Doors open at 6 p.m. Admission is $7. Info: 226-2057.