A/E Highlights

The Clone Wars

EpisodƐII: A New Hope.

Despite the death of the King, and the short-lived marriage of his daughter to a genetically engineered man-child skeleton, the lack of rebellion remains strong. Great forces are brought together, not to bury the assorted Caesars, but to praise them with shows of well-crafted imitation. But in one of these troupes, bivouacked in the large and curiously phallic-shaped building, a new clone has arisen. A performer duplicating the moves and voice of the one called...Britney. Translation from the geek: American Superstars at the Stratosphere now has a Britney Spears impersonator. The show runs 7 p.m. Sunday-Tuesday and at 6:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Tickets are $27.75-38.75. Info: 380-7711.

B-i-n-g-OY!

The Double Down continues its tradition of first Monday of the month Punk Rock Bingo this week. It's much like regular bingo, except the music is louder and the hair is intentionally dyed blue. Also, we're fairly certain no one will be sober enough to play more than one card at a time. It happens at 10 p.m., no cover. Info: 791-5775.

Now that the lights are back on...

Despite recent setbacks due to a major power outage and the temporary closing of the showpool to have hazmat teams remove what turned out to be a Baby Ruth bar, is still running strong. Merde, people, it's a Caddyshack joke. You don't have to get all je ne sais quoi on our asses. is hands-down one of the best shows in town, catch it. Why should the tourists have all the fun? The Cirque du Soleil folks perform at 7:30 and 10:30 Wednesday through Sunday at the Bellagio. Tickets are $93.50-$150. Info: 693-7722.

Blood, sweat, tears and er...other stuff

For the uninitiated, GWAR is a sort of heavy metal performance art thing, with lots of audience participation for those brave or foolhardy enough to come within 50 feet of the stage. We'd try to describe the music, but we were too freaked by the barrels of multicolored fake bodily fluids being strewn about that we can't recall it without our consciousness being overwhelmed by visions of that enormous spewing thing. Oh, and that enormous spewing thing too. Just imagine Howard Stern taking over Blue Man Group and that might give you some grip on the show. GWAR plays tonight at the Huntridge Theater, 1208 E. Charleston Blvd., along with Bad Acid Trip and Watch Them Die. Tickets are $20. Info: 474-4000.

Seventy clams to see the master of disguise?

We've spent some stupid money on stupider things, but for that kind of money, we'd better be treated to some major wardrobe malfunctions. Sure, he was one of the better "SNL" cast members and he's created some memorable characters. The Church Lady, Hans (or was it Franz?) Garth from "Wayne's World" and his devastating impression of Bush Sr. still make us giggle like little schoolgirls. But his recent foray into egomaniacal typecasting has left a very bad taste in our mouths, and disturbingly enough, it's the taste of sweat-soaked polystyrene turtle man costume and coagulated blood. If he'll refund our T.M.O.D. tickets, we might consider getting over it. Dana Carvey plays at the Mirage Friday and Saturday. Tickets are...hey! Weren't you paying attention? Info: 792-7777.

Your cover is blown, Angels

The few who doubted that local faves Killian's Angels were just a front for a covert crime-fighting team were stunned by the revelation this week. Oh, we suppose there could be some other logical reason that band member Ginger Bruner did a spectacular spinning backflip through Circus Circus, dispatching a dozen lavender-clad ninjas with a dazzling combination of Tai Bo and Tuba-fu. But that doesn't explain why several of the band members were seen strolling about the Excalibur incognito, or at least as incognito as you can be in velvet corset. The jig is up, ladies. You can catch Killian's Angels tonight and Friday at Brendan's Pub in the Orleans hotel-casino, 4500 W. Tropicana Ave. Admission is free. Info: 365-7111.