Thursday, August 12, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Anchorman

Zero stars (PG-13, 94 min.) In an outtake in Adam McKay's 1970s newsroom parody, pitting ambitious feminist Christina Applegate against unreconstructed male chauvinists, Will Ferrell groans, "This is the most ridiculous thing ever." Almost. This sophomoric farrago also features Tim Robbins, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and Luke Wilson.--AA

The Bourne Supremacy

4 stars (PG-13, 108 min.) Move over, 007. In Paul Greengrass' action-packed Bourne Identity sequel, Robert Ludlum's imperturbable, CIA-trained assassin is back, the ideal, conflicted hero for our amoral times. Matt Damon's pretty-boy looks make him an unlikely, but chillingly convincing killer; charismatic Joan Allen locks horns with grizzled spymaster Brian Cox, while Franka Potente, Kirsten Dunst and Gabriel Mann make welcome return appearances.--AA

Catwoman

1/2 star (PG-13, 105 min.) Before being reborn as Garfield's wet dream, Halle Berry is Patience Phillips, mild-mannered artist for Sharon Stone's cosmetics company. Too sexually provocative for kids, too imbecilic for adults, French director Pitof's Batman spinoff resembles an extended promo for an asinine, hip-hop version of Cats. Another reeking, Hollywood hairball.--JC

The Chronicles of Riddick

Zero stars (PG-13, 115 min.) Vin Diesel is in good shape in David Twohy's science-fiction sequel to Pitch Black. The great Judi Dench is here too, but won't impress kids: They'll be too busy hoping to grow up to be as talented as Diesel's pecs.--ADV

A Cinderella Story

2 stars (PG, 97 min.) Hilary Duff meets her Prince Charming (Chad Michael Murray) over the Internet, but mean stepmom Jennifer Coolidge makes her work at the diner. Mark Rosman's fairy tale update makes many good choices. But the charming cast is unable to redeem a screenplay that clearly needed a few more drafts.--ADV

Collateral

3 stars (R, 119 min.) In Michael Mann's claustrophobic genre thriller, L.A. cab driver Jamie Foxx picks up expressionless Tom Cruise, a hit man with five victims on his one-night to-do list. A classy but predictable hit-and-run movie, full of menace in the familiar bustle of public spaces. With Jada Pinkett Smith, Mark Ruffalo.--JC

The Day After Tomorrow

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 123 min.) Some levity (gringos flee south, VP Kenneth Welsh eats humble pie) almost makes Roland Emmerich's disaster pic watchable. Preposterous plot (global warming sparks ice age overnight), awful acting (as Dennis Quaid rescues son Jake Gyllenhaal) and an onslaught of special effects.--AA

De-Lovely

3 stars (PG-13, 125 min.) Watching Irwin Winkler's Cole Porter biopic is like bathing in amniotic fluid. There's nothing more comforting than soaking in songs you heard in the womb. Kevin Kline's ambiguous sexuality makes it easy to believe that the gay old Broadway blade led a sordid double life. Screenwriter Jay Cocks neatly frames the story in flashback, as a series of sparkling production numbers "staged" by Jonathan Pryce. With Ashley Judd.--AA

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 92 min.) Rawson Marshall Thurber's riotous debut is a silly, sophomoric summer comedy. Vince Vaughn enters a Vegas dodgeball tournament to defend his gym from the takeover ambitions of fitness mogul Ben Stiller. Sports commentator Gary Cole steals the show.--AA

Everest

4 stars (NR, 44 min.) Co-director David Breashears' harrowing, 1998 Imax documentary chronicles the disastrous 1996 climbing season, when eight climbers perished in a freak storm on the world's highest peak. Featuring Jamling Tenzing Norgay, Ed Viesturs. Beck Weathers. Narrated by Liam Neeson.--AA

Fahrenheit 9/11

4 1/2 stars (NR, 123 min.) Drawing its title from Ray Bradbury's novel, Fahrenheit 451, about a totalitarian society where books are illegal, Michael Moore's timely exposé of the machinations of the Bush administration is also a devastating indictment of subservient news media. This ambitious attempt to connect the dots of a story that begins with the 2000 election and ends with the carnage in Iraq is driven by a sinister thesis: The wholesale hijacking of our civil liberties. Though a sequence involving a woman whose son has been killed in Iraq slows the film down, it's clear Moore has connected with her, one betrayed patriot with another. Coated with humor and propelled by a non-threatening intelligence, Moore's political barbs are deadly. A searing, startling film and a heartfelt portrait of unfettered political arrogance.--JC

Garfield the Movie

1 1/2 stars (PG, 85 min.) Breckin Meyer and Jennifer Love Hewitt are out-acted by a computer-generated feline (Bill Murray), in this shameless exercise in milking Jim Davis' comic strip. Almost made bearable by an animated short, Gone Nutty, featuring Ice Age's Scrat.--AA

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

2 stars (R, 87 min.) Potheads will love Dude, Where's My Car? director Danny Leiner's ditzy satire, chronicling the picaresque misadventures of two New Jersey stoners (endearingly bumbling John Cho and Kal Penn) en route for the titular hamburger joint. Less synaptically impaired viewers will be unamused, despite writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg's rousing conclusion. With Neil Patrick Harris.--AA

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

4 stars (PG, 141 min.) Teen wizard Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and pals Ron and Hermione (Rupert Grint, Emma Watson) encounter escapee Gary Oldman, mysterious David Thewlis, imperious Alan Rickman, and ditzy Emma Thompson. Alfonso Cuarón follows the darker turn of J.K. Rowling's third novel, weaving fantasy, horror and humor into a playful take on teen angst.--TM

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen.--AA

I, Robot

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 115 min.) Will Smith deploys his raging charm as a hard-bitten homicide cop who, in 2035 Chicago, investigates the death of robot maven James Cromwell, with help from ice queen Bridget Moynahan. In his film suggested by Isaac Asimov's 1950 book, Alex Proyas (Dark City) retains enough of Asimov's chilling vision to counteract the studio-pic compromises. Surprisingly smart. With Bruce Greenwood, Alan Tudyk.--AA

King Arthur

2 stars (PG-13, 130 min.) Misguided, miscast and misconceived, Antoine Fuqua's wretched reworking of the popular British myth, starring Clive Owen, Keira Knightley and Stellan SkarsgŒrd, plays like a Cliff's Notes for the Dark Ages. An Arthurian journey with a two-line plot, minimal context, zero magic and no tragic love triangle, leaving the characters little to do but rattle around in the sucking mud.--JC

Little Black Book

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 106 min.) In Nick Hurran's mix of modern morality tale and daytime TV satire, talk show staffer Brittany Murphy snoops into boyfriend Ron Livingston's Palm Pilot and interviews his ex-lovers (Josie Maran, Rashida Jones and Julianne Nicholson). Mildly amusing, instantly forgettable. With Kathy Bates, Holly Hunter and a sickly Carly Simon soundtrack.--AA

The Manchurian Candidate

4 stars (R, 135 min.) In his remake of John Frankenheimer's 1962 classic, Jonathan Demme was smart to cast Denzel Washington, the personification of last-straw integrity. Haunted by brutal nightmares involving war hero and vice presidential candidate Raymond Shaw (Liev Schreiber), Gulf War veteran Bennett Marco (Washington) uncovers something even more horrific. A tight, exciting political thriller, more literal than its predecessor, that hurtles smoothly forward, graced by great performances. With Meryl Streep, Kimberly Elise.--JC

Mean Girls

3 stars (PG-13, 97 min.) In Mark Waters' high school satire, Lindsay Lohan attacks glam girl clique, the Plastics (Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried). Tina Fey's adaptation of Rosalind Wiseman's book Queen Bees and Wannabes is entertaining, though formulaic.--AA

Napoleon Dynamite

2 1/2 stars (PG, 86 min.) Driving writer-director Jared Hess' plotless debut is Jon Heder who, as a geek for the ages, pulls back on the charisma for the sake of deadpan misanthropy. He's arrogant, dishonest, socially inept, hyper-defensive and downright rude. But in a movie where everyone's a loser, he becomes our de facto hero, eventually exuding a certain geek chic. But there's not much of a payoff; the film doesn't go anywhere.--MP

NASCAR: The Imax Experience

2 1/2 stars (PG, 48 min.) Simon Wincer's flagrant promo flick is expensive entertainment that requires tiresome 3D glasses to watch. But it delivers some of the visceral, ear-shattering excitement of race day. Narrated by Kiefer Sutherland.--AA

The Notebook

1 star (PG-13, 123 min.) James Garner reads Gena Rowlands the tale of star-crossed lovers (Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams) whose 1940 North Carolina romance was cruelly curtailed. Nick Cassavetes' syrupy film of Nicholas Sparks' novel is formulaic, manipulative tripe. With Joan Allen, James Marsden.--AA

Robot Stories

3 1/2 stars (NR, 85 min.) Greg Pak's four shorts explore humankind's interaction with our high-tech world: Childless Tamlyn Tomita and James Saito "adopt" a robot baby; distraught Wai Ching Ho tries connecting with her comatose son; android worker Pak learns about love; sculptor Sab Shimono faces a Faustian bargain. The sci-fi themes seem derivative and the budgetary limitations are evident. But these four segments are more satisfying than most megabudget sci-fi blockbusters.--AA

Shrek 2

3 1/2 stars (PG, 105 min.) The sequel barrels along, with Shrek, Fiona and Donkey (Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy) visiting Fiona's parents (John Cleese, Julie Andrews). A maniacal stew of pop culture, mythology, and fairytale characters. Lively, entertaining and quite funny. With inspired Jennifer Saunders and show-stealer Antonio Banderas.--JC

Spider-Man 2

4 stars (PG-13, 127 min.) Unmasked hero Peter Parker (again played magnificently by Tobey Maguire) faces his beloved M.J. (Kirsten Dunst) and superlative villain "Doc Ock" (Alfred Molina), whose writhing metal tentacles are hell-bent on world domination. Sam Raimi's reverent realization of Stan Lee's comic-book vision makes the fantastic achingly human. This layered sequel's improved computer graphics make its predecessor look positively earthbound.--JC

The Stepford Wives

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 110 min.) Frank Oz's garish, incoherent remake of Bryan Forbes' film of Ira Levin's dystopian novel--about a pristine suburb where the men have robot wives--replaces the horror with camp and the wit with witlessness. With Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick.--JC

Super Size Me

3 1/2 stars (NR, 96 min.) For his exposé, Morgan Spurlock decided to eat nothing but McDonald's for 30 days. He also investigates childhood brainwashing (Happy Meals, Ronald McDonald, in-house playrooms) and school lunch programs packed with empty calories, but fails to address the underlying issues of race and poverty, and the fact that affordability is a consideration.--JC

The Terminal

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 122 min.) Tom Hanks shines as an Eastern European stranded at a New York airport. This is Steven Speilberg, so some schmaltz creeps through, but Hanks nails the final scenes with understated heroism. With Catherine Zeta-Jones.--MP

Thunderbirds

2 1/2 stars (PG, 87 min.) Jonathan Frakes' film, based on a 1960s British TV puppet show about a 2010 billionaire who operates a worldwide rescue crew from an uncharted island, gives kids fun, junky entertainment. Not original or unusually competent, but engaging. With Ben Kingsley, Bill Paxton. --ADV

Troy

3 stars (R, 163 min.) Cowardly Paris (Orlando Bloom) abducts Helen (Diane Kruger) from husband Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson) and hides behind big brother Hector (Eric Bana). Brad Pitt buffed up to play warrior Achilles, but isn't enough to support Wolfgang Peterson's production, drowning in $200 million worth of stone, metal and poor digital sequences. With Brian Cox, Peter O'Toole.--JC

Two Brothers

2 stars (PG, 105 min.) Jean-Jacques Annaud reverts to the anthropomorphizing formula of The Bear with a family flick set in Cambodia, where orphaned tiger cubs Kumal and Sangha are aided by rogue bounty hunter Guy Pearce and insufferable youngster Freddie Highmore.--AA

Van Helsing

1/2 star (PG-13, 131 min.) Stephen Sommers' witless attempt to blend Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolf Man with bad CGI effects is a bland, pop-culture stew. Vampire hunter Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale fight Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) and Kate's lupine brother (Will Kemp).--AA

The Village

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 106 min.) M. Night Shyamalan has focused on concocting twists, and impossible expectations. In a 19th century village surrounded by dense woods, weird sounds emanate from "Those We Do Not Speak Of." Joaquin Phoenix goes for help, first pledging himself to blind lass Bryce Dallas Howard. A crime occurs, the twist is revealed. Banal, obvious and a huge disappointment. With Adrien Brody, William Hurt.--JC

White Chicks

3 stars (PG-13, 100 min.) FBI agents Marlon and Shawn Wayans foil a kidnapping by impersonating two airhead Hampton socialites (Anne Dudek, Maitland Ward). Keenen Ivory Wayans' comedy is stupid, crude, at times inept, illogical, and alas, often very funny.--ADV

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; ADV: Anthony Del Valle; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; TM: Tammy McMahan