Knappster: Water authority faces rising tide of slow-growth sentiment

By George Knapp

JOHNSON SPACE CENTER, HOUSTON--NASA officials expressed shock and outrage today after learning that the Southern Nevada Water Authority has filed claims for every drop of groundwater on the planet Mars.

"We don't know for sure how much water is even there, and already these Vegas hotshots have claimed it all for themselves," a NASA official grumbled.

In Las Vegas, a spokesperson explained that the water authority was merely being prudent in filing the groundwater claims on the Red Planet. "If this drought continues into the 22nd century, we will need all of that Martian water so that Las Vegas can continue its explosive growth," the spokesperson said. "Otherwise, our economy could collapse and jobs would be lost."

Readers may scoff at this fictional scenario, but based on public statements already made by our water officials, a Martian water grab doesn't seem that far-fetched. What's more, we needn't worry about how to get the water from Mars to Southern Nevada, since Southern Nevada will almost certainly have to expand to Mars and beyond if we are to protect our robust local economy. Think not?

Perhaps you read last week's excellent column by Mercury Editor Geoff Schumacher concerning a recent R-J opinion survey about growth issues. The survey found that an overwhelming 75 percent of local residents favor a slowdown in new construction, at least until the drought ends. Anywhere else in the world, this might make sense, but not here. The R-J article that accompanied the survey results quickly dismissed the idea of controlling growth. It quoted water authority boss Pat Mulroy as saying that the rest of us don't know what we're talking about.

Basically, we're all stupid.

Whenever we minions talk about our desire to control growth, the poobahs of local government whip out their ultimate weapon--The Big Study. See, every time officials want a seeming justification for what they've already decided to do to us against our will, they go out and get a study. Everyone knows exactly what the study will show long before the results are in, but we all pretend to play along. Such is the case with the question of slower growth.

Crafty water bosses have seen the anti-growth sentiment building for years now, and no wonder. Our collective quality of life has tanked over the past decade. Local residents are asked to use less and less water, while paying higher and higher water bills and taxes, not for our benefit, but so that more houses can be built to attract hordes of new residents. Our streets, roads, highways, schools, parks, hospitals and government services are all stretched to the breaking point because of growth, and who benefits? Has runaway growth made your life better? Things certainly are better for developers and casinos, but not so much for the rest of us.

That's why they really needed The Big Study. The latest one was released back in February. It predicted that even modest controls on growth could trigger "an economic catastrophe," including the loss of 1.3 million jobs and $148 billion in economic output. The study did not mention that controls on growth would also lead to spontaneous eruptions of fire and brimstone, attacks by flying dinosaurs, dogs sleeping with cats, IRS audits for everyone and the likelihood of our incineration by an alien Death Star, but we got the message.

Growth must continue at all costs. We must grow, grow like the wind, and it must continue like this forever.

Maybe they really do think we're all stupid. If even a modest slowdown in the rampaging growth rate might mean total economic collapse, then clearly our leaders are telling us we must continue to grow like a bat out of hell, and that this must continue forever. Just paving the rest of the Las Vegas Valley with mini-malls and high-rise condos won't be enough. After all, if we stop here, our economy will collapse. We will need to grow into neighboring counties, where we have already filed water claims. And why stop there? Las Vegas will have to grow far beyond the state line, far beyond national borders as well. We will gobble up other continents, build floating casino projects on the seas, annex foreign countries and capitals into the ever-expanding Clark County empire. If we don't, after all, our economy will collapse. Eventually, we will need to build colonies in outer space, first aboard vast space stations, then it's on to the planets themselves. Good god, people, we've got to do it. Otherwise, our economy will collapse.

The logic of the grow-forever philosophy may be lost on our political leaders and their masters in the casino and development industries, but it isn't lost on we mere mortals. Our growth obviously cannot last forever, certainly not at this breakneck, balls-to-the-wall pace, so the doom-and-gloom scenarios predicted by The Big Study are going to happen whether we like it or not. The 75 percent of us who think that a five-year drought is a good time to consider at least tapping the brakes of the growth machine also think that there may be ways we can lessen the impact of the inevitable slowdown. But of course, what do we know? We're stupid, after all.

Knappster got a huge chuckle over the fuss generated recently when a local company decided to import water from out of state so its decorative fountains could continue to gurgle. You might have thought the fountain was being filled with liquefied babies, the way water officials grumbled about it. They complained that for this private company to go out and buy the water it needs isn't in the spirit of overall conservation plans and seems to spit in the face of those who are conserving. Excuse me? A company goes out and uses whatever means necessary to get the water it needs, and this is out of line? I'd say it's exactly in sync with what water officials have been doing for years. They're preparing to build a $2 billion pipeline system (guess who will pay for that, by the way?) so they can buy, beg or steal the water resources of weaker counties in rural Nevada. Elected officials are on record as saying we will do whatever is necessary to obtain new sources of water so that our growth can continue. Casinos are given pats on the back by water bosses when they build newer and bigger water features every year of the drought because "it's their water," we are told, and besides, they don't really use that much. I'd say the actions taken by this private company are completely and totally consistent with the example set by our elected officials, water functionaries and their casino masters.

Seventy-five percent of us think now is the time to start preparing for the inevitable. Then again, Mars sounds like a great location for video poker tournaments, all-you-can-eat buffets and a Cirque du Soleil spectacular.

This week's monorail moment

Executives at the sometimes-public/sometime-private Las Vegas Monorail now say they plan to make public their ridership figures, starting next week. On the monorail's opening day, they issued a statement that they would not provide any ridership figures until September, after it became clear that the number of riders was far below what they will need to break even. Great, let's hope they stick to their promise. We look forward to reading the figures next week.

Now that the sordid story has been made public about how the monorail was given its designation as a charity, allowing it to escape millions of dollars in taxes, perhaps the Nevada Tax Commission will finally be allowed to weigh in on the matter. In years past, the commission would have made the decision about the monorail's tax status and would have done so in an open meeting, not behind closed doors and in total secrecy. Hey, the secret is out. Now, can we have a ruling by the commission that was appointed to handle such questions in the first place?

Names and faces

Any time California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to come to town and invite people to move back to California, it's okay by us. Too bad he didn't convince anyone to go with him. Hey, maybe that terrible tax increase that was enacted here last year isn't so bad after all. Even with the tax hike, Nevada is still a far better place to do business, and no one is exactly beating a path to the state border. ... Growth has taken a terrible toll on the Spring Mountains/Mount Charleston area, as detailed in the Mercury and in TV stories by yours truly. Maybe it's time for a Mount Charleston Summit, a meeting that would bring all the interested parties and all the pressing issues to the fore. The fire that ripped through the area a few weeks ago tells us that the clock is ticking. ... An expected decision about possible legal action against Crazy Horse Too owner Rick Rizzolo has been delayed again. Federal authorities have been investigating Rizzolo for years but have never charged him with anything. They were going to make an announcement this month, delayed it until September at the earliest, but now say they aren't likely to make a public statement until late October or November. ... For the first time, Las Vegas has been invited to enter a float in the Rose Parade. Parade officials extended the invitation as part of next year's Centennial celebration. The cost would be in the neighborhood of $150,000. ... Paul Lowden's Archon Corp. has quietly informed the Wet n' Wild water park that it must vacate its current location on Las Vegas Boulevard by next year. Lowden isn't talking about what he might have in mind for the 25-plus acres of prime Strip land. ... The Hard Rock is said to be considering a new resort in Macau. Hard Rock and at least five other major players are believed to have reached handshake agreements with Sheldon Adelson to participate in the creation of a new Strip, to be built on a piece of land just outside of Macau proper.