Collected by David P. Verbon
This week, we've stumbled upon a tart you'd never want to meet in a dark alley, found a nickname for Henderson to rival "Sin City" and discovered a unique way for Las Vegas City Council members to keep their remarks short (sure). Welcome to the surreal world of Classic Closed Captions.
| What Was Really Said | Closed Caption Version |
|
| ...whether you live in Summerlin, Henderson, or anywhere else. | ...whether you live in Summerlin, Hel Person, or anywhere else. |
| --Las Vegas City Council meeting |
|
| He'll return if the swelling's down in his left ankle. | He'll return if the smelling's down in his left ankle. |
| --ESPN SportsCenter |
|
| To be succinct, I believe... | To be suck sink, I believe... |
| --Las Vegas City Council meeting |
|
| A big target at 6'5". | A big tart at 6'5". |
| --ESPN |
|
| ...check those prenups before you get married. | ...check those prenups before you get marred. |
| --CNN Headline News |
|
| We shouldn't have this thing in the neighborhood... | We shouldn't have this thing in the nab hood... |
| --Las Vegas City Council meeting |
|
| MacIntyre moves from his left spot position. | MacIntyre moves from his left splot position. |
| --ESPN |
|
| ...it blew up about a hundred yards from a police station. | ...it blew up about a hundred yesterdays from a police station. |
| --CNN Headline News |
|
| ...get his left foot out... | ...get his lead foot out. |
| --CBS Sports |
|
| The family of Strom Thurmond acknowledged today that she is the daughter of Strom Thurmond and a black woman. | The family of Strom Thurmond acknowledged today that she is the daughter of Strom Thurmond and a black mother. |
| --CBS Evening News |
|
| ...because of a large out-of-court settlement. | ...because of a large out-of-moan settlement. |
| --NBC Today Show |
|
| Most have come on penalties for Seattle... | Most have come on penalties for See a But... |
| --NFL on Fox |
|
| And a new set of downs for Indianapolis. | And a new set of towns for Indianapolis. |
| --CBS Sports |
|
| We fought through injury and illness. | We thought through injury and illness. |
| --ESPN SportsCenter |
|
| This thing's not over by a long shot. | This thing's over by a long shot. |
| --ESPN |
