CDVS

Admit it: On some subterranean level, you kinda liked having that tentacled monster under the bed, or that bogeyman--with the filthy peacoat and steel lobster claws for hands--lurking in your closet. Remember how your bed became a magical refuge, your covers a shield, how--as long as no foot or elbow strayed outside--you were safe? Sure, you didn't sleep well those nights the creature loomed large in your restless mind, but damned if being scared shitless didn't make you feel charged, alive.

So what about us responsible adults? A good spook isn't just a spiritual necessity for kids. To that end, that veritable John Cale of Gen X, Mike Patton--of Faith No More, Mr. Bungle and Tomahawk fame--gives us Fantomas, his experimental band that on this release has one foot, it seems, firmly planted in the graveyard. Can this monster mash Martha Stewart's updated take on that holiday mainstay, the scary sound effects album? Let the fake blood fly!

Indeed, Patton and crew have assembled a genuinely creepy piece of work, essentially a 75-minute tapestry of sound that only lapses into music by accident: jungle thrum giving way to emergency room outtakes giving way to rattling chains and Gothic chants. Of course, no experimental rock-spook would be complete without a set of blonging tower bells--so doomishly insistent you'll think Malmesbury Abbey is hiding in your closet. Delirium Cordia is dense and many-dimensioned--now lulling you with choral odes, now throttling you with guitar blasts and heavy breathing--making it a fine addition to the Fantomas line.

But...what's that noise? Are those unholy incantations I hear, or just a sell order barked over an in-flight phone? Looks like that modern-day Morticia has cooked up something frightful as well. Spooky Scary Sounds for Halloween offers your standard slate of chunking chains, insane cackles, snarling dogs and--most terrifying of all--a jury reading its verdict on insider trading charges (okay, not really); a hearty effort, to be sure, but this spate of would-be spooks is old cauldron to any jaded adult. Delirium Cordia wins by a scream.

Gee, if only the Stewart crew could capture on CD the domestic dominatrix's inhuman howl at a sentencing hearing; one suspects that would far outcreep any monster growling under the bed.--Andrew Kiraly