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Kick Out the Jams

Crown Royal Comedy Soul Festival at the MGM Grand, Dec. 28

There's an unspoken rule at certain African-American musico-comedy events that says when a performer asks a question--whether rhetorical or otherwise--you should feel free to answer that question as if you were engaged in a personal conversation with said performer and not sitting in a 17,000-seat arena.

So, for example, when Def Comedy Jam veteran Adele Givens asks if it looks like Vivica A. Fox recently "got some new titties," you might answer with a stock "Tell it, sister" or "Go on, girl" (due to rapid Oprahfication, the more familiar "You go, girl" is no longer an acceptable alternative). Or, if your tastes skew in favor of Fox and her new additions, you might offer something like, "Uh-huh, and they look good on her, too." Or, time permitting, you might even relate a short personal anecdote such as, "My cousin Tamika just got new titties. She don't look like Vivica Fox, though." Whatever you say, just make sure it sounds like you mean it.

And when the jokes yield to the funk, a similar rule applies, allowing--nay, encouraging--folks to sing along. For example, when Earth, Wind and Fire hits the stage in a flurry of sequins and curls and pleather, and Philip Bailey starts howling out "Devotion," it's perfectly acceptable to stand up and try to hit the high notes. In fact, if you don't, you might look like a square to your neighbors, who will more than likely be grinding hips and screeching, "You need devotion! Bless the children!" Fortunately, with Bailey's octave-defying coos and Maurice White's Bootsy-worthy low-end shuffle, it's easy to get swept up in the soul.

Likewise, when the Isley Brothers break into one of their signature long, slow jams, and Ronald Isley (a.k.a. Mr. Big) pimp-struts onto the stage in a white, four-button suit, it's perfectly all right to grab your baby's mama and get a little freak on. In fact, there's no better way to really get into songs like "Between the Sheets" or "You're All I Need." And when Mr. Big finally gets around to singing "Shout" and "It's Your Thing," it's best to just clear a little space, throw your hands in the air and let your hips do the talking. Say what you will, that's just good funk.--Newt Briggs