Rant

Oh my...would you just look at this nice chocolate brown Arrow work shirt with the flared sleeves and wide collar--I just love this look!--and it's mine, all mine, for only...EIGHT FUCKING BUCKS?! Whoa, excuse me, did I, um, enter a space-time vortex and accidentally step into the Gap at the Boulevard Mall? Why, gee, no, the sign out front says Savers, or Goodwill, or Opportunity Village. Yeah, what's up with thrift stores jacking up their prices?

Here's what's up with it: Between dorking downtown hipster dips fueling demand and thrift store dickheads wising up to the fact that they can make a few bucks off some zitty mopheads' record store paycheck, prices at "thrift" stores are going through the roofs of their pissy-smelling stores. Bullshit! Yeah, yeah, I know, Savers is a for-profit company and Goodwill and Opportunity Village have "clients" to serve. In that case, though, stop calling them thrift stores and try on something else for size. Hm, how about Piece of Shit Rip-Off City?!--Andrew Kiraly