Road Scholar: Rim job

The straight dope on the dub and the twankie deuce

By Newt Briggs

What's crackin', big tymers? Wasn't it Snoop Dogg who said, "A dub, by any other name, would still look as tight"? Well, that fool was straight trippin', because a dub is not a dub unless it's 20 inches of sparkling chrome or polished aluminum from side to side. Anything larger is a twankie deuce (22), twankie tre (23), twankie fo' (24) or the rim so fabulous it dropped its first name--the six (26).

But before y'all go cramming all that bling into the wheel wells of your mama's buster-ass Caprice, consider the potential consequences. Most cars weren't designed to roll on rims as tall as untended ghetto grass, and according to Ron Canosa of Street Concepts on East Flamingo Road, oversized blades can actually put undue wear on the suspension and drive components of your hooptie.

"Rolling mass is what really ruins things," says Canosa. "People say that if you put bigger wheels on a car, you've got to put on bigger brakes, which is kind of true because there's more weight to stop. But bigger rims will also wear on your suspension components--your ball joints, your control arm bushings and all of that. So where you used to get 30,000 or 40,000 miles out of a set of ball joints, now you can expect maybe half of that."

On top of all that extra time on the alignment rack, there's the matter of rubber--no small expense when it comes to sixes or any of their little cousins. Canosa estimates that tires for a 26-inch rim will cost at least $1,100 apiece and that the price per tire will decrease by half with each two-inch reduction in rim size ($600 for a 24, $300 for a 22, etc.).

"People really don't know what it costs to put big rims on their cars," he says. "The reason it's so fresh in my mind is that we just had a guy come in with 24s on his 2002 Tahoe, and his front wheels were flopping all over the road. He was like, `Nobody told me this was going to happen,' but it's really inevitable, you know."

So if you want to pimp your ride without having to take a loan out of every Money Tree on the east side, Canosa recommends a simple, clean set of polished aluminum dubs. They require some regular maintenance, but a set of four with tires can cost as little as $1,500. And even the real premium, name-brand, chrome shit will run you less than $3,000. Just don't get suckered in by the so-called 27 (actually a 22-inch rim with a five-inch extension). And definitely steer clear of the spinners.

"They were hot for a while, but they kind of died out," Canosa says. "They're almost, like, played out now. It used to be I'd sell three or four sets a week, but now I'm down to about two sets a month. Maybe too many little kids got their fingers caught in them. I don't know."

Fast and loose

That's right, armchair dragsters, Midnight Mayhem is upon us again, and it's time to send your 1971 AMC Gremlin down the 18-second chute to motorsports glory. Actually, the drag strip at Las Vegas Motor Speedway will be open to all makes and models on Fri., June 18, from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. as long as your car can pass a brief safety inspection. Alcohol is forbidden, but speeding is downright encouraged. $5 for spectators, $10 to race. Info: 644-4444.