Go: What to Do, Where to Go & Why

By James P. Reza

Judging from the overflow crowds bustling through First Friday last week, spilling onto sidewalks where folks gabbed about art with wine glasses in hand, the little-arts-event-that-could keeps pulling more and more of those who would otherwise venture downtown only to fight a traffic ticket. Combined with the grand re-launch of the Golden Nugget (under new owners, the thirtysomething entrepreneurial pair of Tim Poster and Tom Breitling) and two nights of Tony Bennett and Jewel in the historic casino's showroom, downtown life keeps getting better and better.

Saturday on the Strip, however, was a different story at the MGM Grand, where Britney Spears tried desperately (and failed) to replicate Madonna's successful series of reinventions by stealing a few R-rated chapters from the Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity outline in her "Onyx Hotel" tour. Attended mostly by 14-year-old girls garbed up like slutty 22-year-olds, 22-year-old women "dressed" like slutty 14-year-olds and a sizable contingent of gay couples, Spears' performance smacked of a forced sexuality unfocused to the point that even her masturbation scene to "Touch of My Hand" could have been a ripped from a shampoo commercial.

Pointedly Creepy Show Notes: Whenever Spears attempted one of her unimaginative, mechanical stripper moves, the gals in the place would erupt in girl-cheer. Britney shakes her ass: Whoo! Britney spreads her legs: Whoo! Britney pretends to have an orgasm: Whoo! It's unclear if all these women were hankering for some lady lovin' and happen to have a fetish for fake hair, implausibly stationary breasts and obviously lip-synched performances, or if they simply view Spears as representative of themselves: American girls repressed to the point that the only sexual revolution they can imagine is one Disneyfied until it is utterly nonthreatening.

As Spears ground through the motions, MGM ushers made it a point to intercede whenever an audience member imitated her by dancing like a stripper. Yes, ass-grinders were told to stop or be asked to leave. It's all so insane and upside down it makes my head feel like it's going to explode. Now I know how comedian Lewis Black feels.

It's a lounge, it's ultra...

The scene this weekend could be different (or not), given two events that beckon Saturday night. Plush Ultralounge & Supperclub at the Resort at Summerlin is working with DJ Michael Fuller to draw the locals with "Saturday Night Fever" featuring hip hop, house, funk and disco (March 13, 9 p.m.; 391-9979). To avoid the door rush, we recommend going for dinner and staying for the party. And over at the Aladdin's Curve Ultra Lounge, upscale stargazers will have a chance to rub up against major league athletes and celebs at an after-party for the city's annual Celebrity Charity Weekend (March 13, 10:30 p.m.; www.vegashotspots.com).

Tre hip

Even in Las Vegas, there's a predictable nightlife pattern, and as enjoyable as restaurants, lounges, pop music shows and dance clubs can be, it is a wonderful thing when a noticeable break from that tradition reveals itself. Few things offer more of a break from tradition than Thursday's House of Blues visit from Portland's Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour, featuring live strip-rock from Bloom and spins from the local Bargain DJ Collective (March 11, 7:15 p.m.; 632-7600). An old-tyme bump-and-grind with a twist, these hot girlies sport piercings and tattoos, dark hair and Bettie Page bangs; you can think of them of the alt.goth version of L.A.'s notable Pussycat Dolls. For a mere $12.50 at this 18-and-over show, you hepcats have no excuse. Britney, perhaps a few lessons are in order.

The following night at the Clark County Library Theater, X-Games fans will rage over the Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour, a screening of eight films celebrating the spirit of adventure of climbing, skiing and mountain expeditions in some of the world's last great wild places (March 12, 7 p.m.; 733-7810). The screening is free, so call ahead to reserve your seats.

And on Wednesday, you can choose from dozens--if not hundreds--of St. Paddy's Day parties celebrating the Irish National Sport, but none other than that at the House of Blues will feature an Irish buffet and live Emerald Isle rock from Seven Nations, Ponder and Darby O'Gill & the Little People (March 17, 8 p.m.; 632-7600). No Irish Spring, no Lucky Charms, none of that crap--just good grub and live music.

Big bad rock

And now we present: a Metallica show for the little people. No, not those Little People. You may recall that the hard-rocking stripper faves (do we sense a theme this week?) whaled the Hard Rock's Joint over the holidays with ticket prices reaching into the hundreds. Now, the band returns just a few months later with fellow rockers Godsmack to UNLV's 18,000-seat Thomas & Mack Center for a more affordable $58 (March 13, 8 p.m.; 739-3267). Dear alt.metalists, if that remains beyond the reach of your bank account, check out Papa Roach, Die Trying and Still Life Projector at the Huntridge Theatre for a mere $15 on Sunday (March 14, 7 p.m.; 477-7703).

The odd triple

There truly is something for nearly everyone this week, as even alt.country fans get tossed a bone with Lyle Lovett performing two shows behind his critically acclaimed 2003 release My Baby Don't Tolerate. Earning pop culture points for his "unconventional good looks" and former marriage to pretty woman Julia Roberts, Lovett will perform Friday and Saturday at the Hilton Theatre (March 12-13; 732-5301).

The same nights, the once-proud Libertarian, once-hilarious Dennis Miller brings his President Bush Re-Election Campaign to the Paris Le Theatre des Arts. (March 12-13; 946-4567), while the House of Blues hosts Chicago gangsta rapper Twista with The Chapter (March 13, 8 p.m.; 632-7600) in an all-ages show. Twista tours behind 2004's Kamikaze, his fifth effort.

All that jazz

If you consider yourself a bit more, uh, sophisticated than any of this malarkey, you could check out pop classical vocalist Sarah Brightman for the umpteenth time at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on Saturday. You won't get the lesbian shadow dancing you saw at Britney (at least we don't think you will), but you will get the British Broadway star's best Barbra Streisand-meets-Andrew Lloyd Webber (March 13, 8 p.m.; 891-1111). We suggest you forgo that schtick this time around and, instead, get your tickets now for the Newport Jazz Festival 50th Anniversary Tour, a celebration of the East Coast version of the Playboy Jazz Festival, going off Friday at UNLV's Artemus W. Ham Concert Hall (March 12, 8 p.m.; 895-2787). Part of the university's Best of the New York Stage series, this roster of jazz greats features luminaries Cedar Walton, Lew Tabackin, Howard Alden, Peter Washington, Lea DeLaria, Kariem Riggins, Ken Peplowski and Jeremy Pelt. The Newport Jazz Festival, launched on July 17, 1954, was the first outdoor music festival devoted entirely to jazz and, perhaps more importantly, the first corporate-sponsored outdoor music event. In other words, it was the Lollapalooza of its time. Dig?

Native Las Vegan James P. Reza writes too much about Las Vegas, but can't stop because he simultaneously loves and hates the place. E-mail him at jpreza@cox.net.