Thursday, March 18, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Along Came Polly

2 stars (PG-13, 90 min.) John Hamburg's "sparkless" romantic comedy is as risk-averse and unamusing as Ben Stiller's overly cautious character, who falls for flaky free spirit Jennifer Aniston.--TM

Barbershop 2: Back in Business

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 106 min.) Kevin Rodney Sullivan's sequel improves on Tim Story's 2002 talkfest, targeting the Starbuckization of the planet. With Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer, Queen Latifah.--AA

The Butterfly Effect

2 stars (R, 113 min.) Like the chaos theory concept (the flapping of a butterfly's wings in China might cause a hurricane in Florida), this is a mindbender about reality. But it suffers due to Ashton Kutcher's inadequacy.--TM

Cold Mountain

3 1/2 stars (R, 155 min.) Nicole Kidman's incipient romance with field hand Jude Law is interrupted by the Civil War. Anthony Minghella's beautiful film of Charles Frazier's novel balances the folksy and the horrifying.--JC Oscar: supporting actress Renée Zellweger.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Not reviewed (PG, 86 min.) New York teen Lindsay Lohan copes with the ultimate indignity: moving to New Jersey. With Adam Garcia, Carol Kane.--AA

The Cooler

3 stars (R, 101 min.) In Wayne Kramer's gritty, faux noir William H. Macy, employed to bring his chronic bad luck to gamblers, falls in love with cocktail waitress Maria Bello. More interesting is the backstory, with old-school casino boss Alec Baldwin clinging to his traditionalist ways in the face of corporate Vegas. A film awash in moral ambiguity and contradictions. With Maria Bello, Shawn Hatosy, Ron Livingston.--MP

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

2 stars (PG-13, 86 min.) Blushing WASP Romola Garai itches to dance with hot Cuban waiter Diego Luna. Guy Ferland's sequel is the nadir of Hollywood's efforts to rediscover the magic of the 1987 flick.--JC

EuroTrip

1/2 star (R, 90 min.) This weapon of movie denigration sends Scott Mechlowicz and friends around Europe. Assumes viewers will accept a hero so dumb he thinks his German e-mail correspondent (Jessica Boehrs) is a guy. Vacuous crud.--AA

50 First Dates

1/2 star (PG-13, 96 min.) The problem is all inside Drew's (Barrymore) head, you see; Her short-term memory is screwy, can't take it logically; (Adam) Sandler's motto: it's lucrative to be crude, his non-character misconstrued; There must be 50 ways to leave this loser. Just avoid (Dan) Aykroyd; Make a new plan, (Sean) Astin; Don't need to be a slob, Rob (Schneider), just listen to me; Hop on the bus, (Lusia) Strus; Don't need to discuss much; Just channel E.T., and get yourself free.--TM

The Fog of War

4 stars (PG-13, 95 min.) With his portrait of Robert S. McNamara, Errol Morris attempts to unearth a conscience. The ex-defense secretary reiterates that we should have withdrawn from Vietnam in 1963, and passes the moral buck so slickly to JFK and Lyndon Johnson that even the skeptical may feel beguiled. A troubling, cautionary film.--JC Oscar: documentary feature.

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen.--AA

Hidalgo

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 136 min.) Joe Johnston's plodding, Middle Eastern horse race saga, ostensibly based on the "true" story of dispatch rider Frank Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen) is jingoistic twaddle. Johnston uses cheesy accelerated footage, an unreal digital sandstorm and locusts, and dragged Omar Sharif out of retirement. Why are we surprised that Muslim fanatics want to destroy Western civilization?--AA

In America

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 103 min.) Irish immigrants Paddy Considine and Samantha Morton move to New York with daughters Sarah and Emma Bolger. The adults in Jim Sheridan's autobiographical story are great, but the Bolger sisters' heart-melting guilelessness sets this far above average.--AA

Kitchen Stories

2 stars (NR, 95 min.) [Salmer fra kj¿kkenet] Bent Hamer's film about 1950s-era Swedish scientists' attempts to study the kitchen habits of Norwegian bachelors, chronicling the relationship between researcher Tomas Norstršm and farmer Joachim Calmeyer, is impenetrably droll and understated. Though anchored by wry, expressive performances this gentle character study is too low-key for words. A comedy that only a half-baked Swede could truly love. (Norwegian and Swedish dialogue, with subtitles.)--AA

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 200 min.) Frodo and Sam (Elijah Wood, Sean Astin) are led to Mordor by Gollum (Andy Serkis); Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli (Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, John Rhys-Davies) awaken the Army of the Dead; and Gandalf (Ian McKellen) heads for Minis Tirith. With scandalously beautiful images, Peter Jackson's epic fantasy is an astonishing achievement.--JC 11 Oscars: picture, director, adapted screenplay, art direction, costumes, makeup, editing, sound mixing, visual effects, score, song "Into the West."

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 138 min.) Russell Crowe stars in Peter Weir's splendid maritime adventure. But not even his presence gives this shallow sea story depth. With Paul Bettany.--AA 2 Oscars: cinematography, sound editing.

Miracle

2 1/2 stars (PG, 135 min.) In this lengthy crowdpleaser about the U.S. ice hockey team's bid to beat the Soviets at the 1980 Olympics, Kurt Russell passably impersonates coach Herb Brooks.--AA

Monster

3 stars (R, 108 min.) Charlize Theron's monstrous appearance, and her performance, steamroller everything in Patty Jenkins' film about serial killer Aileen Wuornos, including Christina Ricci's magnificent turn.--JC Oscar: actress Theron.

Mystic River

4 stars (R, 137 min.) A brutal murder forces a reunion between boyhood Boston buddies Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon and Tim Robbins, in Clint Eastwood's dark film of Dennis Lehane's novel.--JC 2 Oscars: actor Penn, supporting actor Robbins.

NASCAR: The Imax Experience

2 1/2 stars (PG, 48 min.) Simon Wincer's flagrant promo flick for "America's largest spectator sport" is expensive entertainment that requires those tiresome 3D glasses to watch. But it includes superb footage delivering some of the visceral, ear-shattering excitement of race day and Kiefer Sutherland's narration, written by Mark Bechtel, packs in a wealth of detail.--AA

Ocean Wonderland 3D

Not reviewed (NR, 44 min.) Filmed in the Bahamas and Australia, this Imax doc features rays, sharks, dolphins and other marine life in glorious 3D.--AA

The Passion of the Christ

2 1/2 stars (R, 127 min.) Mel Gibson's exceedingly gory crucifixion drama, with blood-spattered Jim Caviezel, isn't apt to inspire; it must merely be endured. With the inevitable accusations of anti-Semitism, Mel must have known he was asking for trouble, and priceless publicity, and his pedestrian style only exacerbates the agony. With Mattia Sbraglia (Caiaphas), Hristo Naumov Shopov (Pilate), Maia Morgenstern (Mary), Monica Bellucci (Magdalene). (Aramaic and Latin dialogue, with subtitles.)--AA

Secret Window

2 stars (PG-13, 96 min.) Stung by a charge of plagiarism, depressed writer Johnny Depp plays a cat-and-mouse game with his accuser (John Turturro) that involves Mort's estranged wife Maria Bello, her lover Timothy Hutton and detective Charles S. Dutton. Depp gives a beautifully nuanced turn as the increasingly unhinged wordsmith. But David Koepp's thriller, based on Stephen King's 1990 novella Secret Window, Secret Garden, fails to thrill, mainly because the plot twist is painfully predictable.--AA

Something's Gotta Give

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 136 min.) After a heart attack, Jack Nicholson (masterfully sarcastic) is nursed by Diane Keaton, who proves there's hope for older actresses, in Nancy Meyers' comedy. With Frances McDormand, Keanu Reeves.--TM

Spartan

3 stars (R, 106 min.) Special ops officer Val Kilmer leads a secret mission to retrieve kidnapped President's daughter Kristen Bell. The swirl of plot and counter-plot is pure David Mamet. Kilmer coughs up hairballs of staccato, assaultive dialogue as efficiently as Mamet regulars Ed O'Neill and William H. Macy. But, lacking the personality to counter Mamet's essential heartlessness, he never makes us believe there's a soul beneath the Kevlar, and the plot's machinations finally overwhelm the story's humanity. With Derek Luke.--JC

Starsky & Hutch

2 1/2 stars (R, 100 min.) Uptight cop Ben Stiller and rule-bending slacker Owen Wilson get in their Coke can on wheels (Starsky's beloved Ford Gran Torino) to go after Bay City cocaine kingpin Vince Vaughn. Todd Phillips' spoof isn't exactly your daddy's "Starsky & Hutch." But this imperfect take on that beloved 1970s show provides pure escapist entertainment. With Snoop Dogg, Will Ferrell.--TM

Twisted

1 star (R, 97 min.) Hunting a serial killer, cop Ashley Judd discovers all the victims are her own, recent lovers. Philip Kaufman's thriller is so predictable it's enough to make your Hitchcock-starved hair curl. With Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson.--AA

Welcome to Mooseport

2 stars (PG-13, 110 min.) In this lame political comedy, Maine hardware store owner Ray Romano battles retired U.S. President Gene Hackman in the mayoral race. With Marcia Gay Harden, Maura Tierney.--TM

You Got Served

Not reviewed (PG-13, 93 min.) In Christopher Stokes' musical drama, Marques Houston and Omarion set out to win a street dance contest.--AA

The Young Black Stallion

Not reviewed (G, 50 min.) Simon Wincer's Imax prequel to Carroll Ballard's 1979 adventure, set in postwar north Africa, stars Biana Tamimi as a girl separated from her family who bonds with a wild horse.--AA

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; ADV: Anthony Del Valle; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; RC: Robert Chancey; TM: Tammy McMahan