Go: Where to Go, What to Do & Why

By James Reza

Let's dispense with the ugliness: We are sorry we encouraged a (very) few of you to see the Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour at the House of Blues last Thursday. Despite the fact that we at the Mercury--along with the two other Vegas newsweeklies, plus the Review-Journal's Neon section, not to mention MTV Magazine--each published complimentary pieces on the alt.grrl revue, this was not a media conspiracy designed to rip three irreplaceable hours from your life. And yet, it happened.

From all indications, this show was to be a Pussycat Dolls for the pin-up set. Sadly, it manifested as an embarrassment to the art of burlesque. It didn't help that the few attendees were "treated" to two ear-splitting hours from the Bargain DJ Collective (45 minutes would have been enjoyable), or that the scheduled second act, an all-gal band, canceled its appearance (the reason for the overlong, overloud DJ set). But for those diehards who stuck it out, hoping things would improve once the dancers hit the stage, disappointment turned, almost instantaneously, to frustration.

When the lesbian-kiss schtick was pulled out within the first 10 minutes, you know there is trouble ahead. There was no choreography worth mentioning, and the dancers looked as if they were auditioning for stripper gigs they would never get, leading one female audience member to generously compare the troupe to "high school girls playing dress-up with Hot Topic clothes," more an indictment of the dancers than the clothes. We'll be gracious and say that perhaps these eager gals from Portland inexplicably ended up with a Vegas opportunity that dumped them in a pool of expectations way over their heads and without the skills to shimmy themselves out. One point was made abundantly clear: It takes more than guts, desire and a decent naked body to be a good stripper.

Ice House oddities

Eight months after opening to its own high expectations, downtown's Ice House Lounge (315-2570) is struggling to find its way, paralleling what happened at The Saloon at Neonopolis. Originally opened as a restaurant and lounge and sporting an ambitious menu, the Ice House soon found that downtown happy hour drinkers and First Friday attendees might be a better source of bread and butter than dinner diners. In the time since, chefs and managers have come and gone, the menu has been altered (some say dumbed down) and some dining tables have made way for pool tables. They have (thus far) unsuccessfully toyed with after-hours parties, flair bartenders and live music, but the most successful things they've done have been Friday DJ nights with Chez Bippy, '80s night Burnin' Down the House and the funky Mixed Bag among them. Now, its said ownership is considering converting the venue's popular upstairs lounge to bottle service only, a move counterintuitive to the nature of downtown. We hope any such pretensions won't be in place yet this Friday, when The Get Back returns. Noted San Francisco DJ Vinroc will spin the jams with help from DJs John Doe, Danny Boy, Dirtycrum, Victoria and S-Boogie along with Standing 8, Johnny Fever and Shoe.

Rent's due

Sure, it's still the middle of the month, but this weekend is all about Rent, the big-deal, Pulitzer Prize- and Tony Award-winning musical that essentially defines the Broadway of the 1990s. Coming to the Aladdin Theatre for the Performing Arts Friday through Sunday (March 19-21, various times; 785-5555), Jonathan Larson's play follows the lives of NYC artists struggling to live while pursuing dreams of success.

Along with the five performances, opening night will feature an after-party at the Aladdin's Prana (in the Crustacean restaurant) immediately after the curtain falls. Ten dollars at the door benefits local AIDS charities and buys you the opportunity to rub elbows with cast members from Rent and other high-profile Strip shows. Tickets for Rent range from $36.90 to $78.90, but, in the spirit of the show, a limited number of Golden Circle seats are available for a mere $20 (cash only) at every performance. If you'd like a chance at these low-cost premium seats, the lineup starts at the Aladdin box office no earlier than two hours before showtime.

Disposable income

Elton John comes back for more at the Caesars Palace Colosseum this week (March 23-Apr. 4; 731-7110), following almost universal adoration in the world press for his first series of performances there. The hundred-plus bucks you lay down for Sir Elton seems like a pittance compared to what Rod Stewart is asking at the Hard Rock Hotel on Saturday (March 20, 8 p.m.; 693-5000). Sure, we like him well enough, but we don't know what Stewart would have to do to earn $303-$753 per seat from us (though we're fairly sure we couldn't print it if we did know).

Even Las Vegas nightlife fixture funnyman David Spade is commanding 70 bucks for his shows at the Mirage's comfortable Danny Gans Theatre Friday and Saturday (March 19, 9 p.m.; March 20, 10:30 p.m.; 792-7777). Yes, yes, yes, we loved "SNL's" "buh-bye" skit and we like "Just Shoot Me" and Joe Dirt...well, we like "Just Shoot Me." But 70 bucks? Maybe we'll just shoot over to the Mandalay Bay Events Center on Friday for a $35 show by the adult.alt trio of performers Barenaked Ladies, Howie Day and Butterfly Boucher (March 19, 8 p.m.; 632-7777) and spend the change on hair gel.

Age indiscriminate

Or perhaps instead we'll toss the gold card in the drawer, borrow our little brother's clothes and tread the dangerous line between aging hipster and dirty old man. We can do that Friday at the House of Blues, where punk-poppers Something Corporate, rising stars Yellowcard and New Zealanders Steriogram (March 19, 7:15 p.m.; 632-7600) get all the I.D.-free kids jumping on caffeine for a mere $17.50.

We can also slum on Saturday, when Avenged Sevenfold, Opiate for the Masses and The Virus Makes Us Human crank it up at the Huntridge Theatre (March 20, 7 p.m.; 678-6800). Alternately, and for a little more dosh, fans of dirty Southern rap (and their nemeses at the American Family Association) will get their panties in a bunch over the filthy foursome of Ludacris, Chingy, Knocturnal and David Banner throwing down the rhymes at the House of Blues on Saturday (March 20, 8 p.m.; 632-7600).

Culture campus

Believe it or not, there are things happening at UNLV that do not involve the search for a new basketball coach. The campus continues to act as the city's most consistent cultural outpost, this week hosting the vaunted Las Vegas Philharmonic in its fifth performance of the season on Sunday at the Artemus W. Ham Concert Hall (March 21, 8 p.m.; 895-2787). "Classical and Transcendent" features the works of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and the debut performance of the Las Vegas Philharmonic Chorus.

UNLV also presents its own version of "Short Attention Span Theatre" with its annual spring rite of the Ten Minute Play Festival, staging Wednesday at the Paul Harris Theatre (March 24, 8 p.m.; 895-2787). This year's festival, called "Gentle Reader," is based on the works of Judith Martin (the syndicated columnist known as Miss Manners), and all of the playwrights are part of the UNLV playwriting graduate program. Though it's hard to go wrong for such little money ($3 a ticket), we've said that before and regretted it. Let's just say you always take your chances with art, but you could live someplace where there isn't any.

Native Las Vegan James P. Reza can't define good burlesque, but he knows it when he sees it. E-mail him at jpreza@cox.net.