Thursday, May 13, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Adrenaline Rush: The Science of Risk

Not reviewed (NR, 38 min.) Marc Fafard's 2002 Imax movie examines the risks of skydiving and BASE jumping, and includes footage of an experimental jump using a pyramid-shaped parachute based on a 1485 design by Leonardo da Vinci. Filmed in the Mojave Desert, the Florida Keys and the fjords of Norway.--AA

The Alamo

4 stars (PG-13, 136 min.) John Lee Hancock's well-crafted but one-sided war picture reverently reminds us why we world-dominating imperialists should recall how, in 1836, 200 idealists battled thousands of Mexicans who simply wanted their land back. With Billy Bob Thornton, Jason Patric, Dennis Quaid, Patrick Wilson.--AA

The Best Two Years

1 star (PG, 108 min.) Scott S. Anderson's Mormon promotional ad involves four missionaries (K.C. Clyde, Kirby Heyborne, Cameron Hopkin, David Nibley) sharing an apartment in Holland. "There's something missing here!" screams a character at one point. That would be talent.--JC

Bobby Jones, Stroke of Genius

2 stars (PG, 133 min.) Rowdy Herrington's glossy take on the legendary 1920s amateur golfer has two hours of Jim Caviezel's single, blank expression and some of the worst dialogue ever committed to film. With Claire Forlani, Jeremy Northam.--JC

Bon voyage

3 stars (PG-13, 114 min.) Jean-Paul Rappeneau's Nazi occupation comedy is an interesting but misbegotten bid to fuse farce onto a serious backdrop. In a Bordeaux hotel in 1940, government minister Gérard Depardieu's movie star mistress (Isabelle Adjani) has unfinished business with Gregori Dérang�re, who helps Virginie Ledoyen spirit physicist Jean-Marc Stehlé abroad. With Peter Coyote. (French dialogue, English subtitles.)--AA

Clifford's Really Big Movie

Not reviewed (G, 75 min.) The big red dog from PBS' children's TV show joins a traveling carnival troupe, in this big-screen animated adventure. With the voices of Jenna Elfman, John Goodman and John Ritter.--AA

Connie and Carla

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 97 min.) After witnessing a mob hit, talentless dinner theater performers Nia Vardalos and Toni Collette flee Chicago and headline as L.A. drag queens. A gauche attempt to plagiarize a subculture for mainstream consumption, exultant in its crassness.--JC

Dawn of the Dead

3 1/2 stars (R, 100 min.) Forget George Romero's 1978 horror original. Zach Snyder's remake works on its own terms. The idyllic suburban life of nurse Sarah Polley is shattered when she wakes up to witness a child zombie biting the neck of her husband. Graphic violence, but slam-bam pop entertainment.--ADV

Ella Enchanted

2 stars (PG, 94 min.) Anne Hathaway enlists Minnie Driver to find fairy godmother Vivica A. Fox and falls for Prince Hugh Dancy. When it comes to fresh, fractured fairy tales, Tommy O'Haver's Cinderella spoof, based on Gail Carson Levine's novel, is a wannabe. With Cary Elwes.--TM

Envy

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 99 min.) When Jack Black invents a spray that vaporizes dog poop, and gets rich, best friend/neighbor Ben Stiller seethes with jealousy. Despite its stars' genial chemistry, Barry Levinson's film never rises to the level of great comedy. With Christopher Walken, Rachel Weisz.--JC

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

4 1/2 stars (R, 107 min.) Jim Carrey learns he's been erased from ex-lover Kate Winslet's memory. From this simple idea, director Michel Gondry and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman forged a characteristically complex mix of romance, black humor and existential philosophizing. Given the scarcity of films this good, Jim's advice to Kate, knowing how their romance will end before it begins, seems apt: "Enjoy it." With Kirsten Dunst, Elijah Wood.--AA

Godsend

1 star (PG-13, 102 min.) In Nick Hamm's unscary horror flick, Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos have their dead 8-year-old (Cameron Bright) cloned by doctor Robert De Niro. A godforsaken, pyromaniac ax murderer B-movie.--AA

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen.--AA

Hidalgo

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 136 min.) Joe Johnston's plodding, Middle Eastern horse race saga is jingoistic twaddle. Why are we surprised that Muslim fanatics want to destroy Western civilization? With Viggo Mortensen, Omar Sharif.--AA

Home on the Range

2 1/2 stars (PG, 76 min.) Three cows (voiced by Roseanne Barr, Judi Dench, Jennifer Tilly) join naive buck Cuba Gooding, Jr. to outsmart rustlin' varmint Randy Quaid. Disney's latest animated feature is competent but rarely inspired.--ADV

Johnson Family Vacation

1/2 star (PG-13, 97 min.) Cedric the Entertainer, Vanessa Williams and kids (Bow Wow, Solange Knowles, Gabby Soleil) drive across country. Christopher Erskin's debut is a flimsy pretext for a bunch of unfunny setpieces.--AA

Kill Bill Vol. 2

4 stars (R, 136 min.) Quentin Tarantino triumphantly returns. Vol. 1 was the perfect ferocious prologue for this quiet study of love (man/woman, mother/child, warriors/leader). Amid the waxing philosophical, the Bride (Uma Thurman) continues her quest to kill the murderers of her wedding party (Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah) and mastermind (mesmerizing David Carradine).--TM

Laws of Attraction

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 90 min.) Peter Howitt's threadbare romantic comedy has Julianne Moore as a divorce attorney desperately in need of a good briefing, and Pierce Brosnan as the rakish rival happy to oblige. For no apparent reason, other than to drag the cast of Waking Ned Devine from retirement, the couple heads for Ireland. With Frances Fisher, Parker Posey.--JC

Man on Fire

1 1/2 stars (R, 146 min.) Dakota Fanning's bodyguard Denzel Washington unleashes bloody vengeance when she's abducted. Tony Scott's directorial affectations (slow-mo, handheld camerawork, elliptical editing) render his Mexican kidnapping drama unwatchable, overwhelming everything in this dismal remake. With Mickey Rourke, Christopher Walken.--AA

Mean Girls

3 stars (PG-13, 97 min.) In Mark Waters' high school satire, 16-year-old Lindsay Lohan seeks to destroy the power of glam girl clique, the Plastics (Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried). Tina Fey's adaptation of Rosalind Wiseman's book Queen Bees and Wannabes feels like a formula retread of Heathers. But being derivative doesn't mean it isn't entertaining. With Tim Meadows.--AA

NASCAR: The Imax Experience

2 1/2 stars (PG, 48 min.) Simon Wincer's flagrant promo flick is expensive entertainment that requires tiresome 3D glasses to watch. But it delivers some of the visceral, ear-shattering excitement of race day. Narrated by Kiefer Sutherland.--AA

New York Minute

2 stars (PG, 91 min.) While Ashley Olsen delivers a speech, twin sister Mary-Kate tangles with truant officer Eugene Levy. Then the twins get kidnapped by a goon who's after a valuable microchip. Director Dennie Gordon has a crude way with physical comedy, but the storyline charms. Junk filmmaking, but not so horrible.--ADV

Ocean Wonderland 3D

Not reviewed (NR, 44 min.) Filmed in the Bahamas and Australia, this Imax doc features rays, sharks, dolphins and other marine life in glorious 3D.--AA

The Passion of the Christ

2 1/2 stars (R, 127 min.) Mel Gibson's gory crucifixion drama, with blood-spattered Jim Caviezel, isn't apt to inspire; it must merely be endured. With the inevitable accusations of anti-Semitism, Mel must have known he was asking for trouble, and priceless publicity. His pedestrian style only exacerbates the agony. With Mattia Sbraglia (Caiaphas), Hristo Naumov Shopov (Pilate), Maia Morgenstern (Mary), Monica Bellucci (Magdalene). (Aramaic and Latin dialogue, with subtitles.)--AA

The Punisher

1 star (R, 123 min.) Vigilante Thomas Jane unleashes vengeance against gangster John Travolta for killing his family. Apart from slick stunts, Jonathan Hensleigh's remake has zero merit. With Laura Harring, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Roy Scheider.--AA

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

2 stars (PG, 85 min.) Fred (Freddie Prinze, Jr.), Daphne (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Velma (Linda Cardellini), Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) and Scooby (Neil Fanning) chase a mastermind monster maker. Raja Gosnell's sequel to his 2002 cartoon spinoff is endearingly goofy.--TM

Starsky & Hutch

2 1/2 stars (R, 100 min.) Uptight cop Ben Stiller and rule-bending slacker Owen Wilson get in their Coke can on wheels (Starsky's beloved Ford Gran Torino) to go after Bay City cocaine kingpin Vince Vaughn. Todd Phillips' spoof isn't exactly your daddy's "Starsky & Hutch." But it provides pure escapist entertainment. With Snoop Dogg, Will Ferrell.--TM

13 Going on 30

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 98 min.) Teenager Christa B. Allen wakes in the body of her older, magazine-editor self (Jennifer Garner). Gary Winick's predictable, retro romance has an insidious moral: a woman's place is firmly in the home. A movie liable to make smart, sassy 13-year-olds get pierced, tattooed and deflowered quick. With Kathy Baker, Judy Greer, Mark Ruffalo.--AA

Van Helsing

1/2 star (PG-13, 131 min.) Stephen Sommers' witless attempt to blend Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolf Man with unconvincing CGI effects is a pop-culture stew of brain-numbing blandness. 007-style vampire hunter Hugh Jackman hooks up with Kate Beckinsale to fight Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) and Kate's lupine brother (Will Kemp). One incoherent, high-decibel setpiece after another.--AA

Walking Tall

1 star (PG-13, 85 min.) The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) again pretends to act in Kevin Bray's remake of the 1973 revenge fantasy. Fabulously inept filmmaking. So little talent, so many clichés.--JC

The Whole Ten Yards

1 Star (PG-13, 99 min.) One day, director Howard Deutch will testify before an independent commission: "Warner Bros. failed you, and those entrusted to entertain you failed you." Plodding dreck about gangster Bruce Willis, dentist Matthew Perry and femme fatale Natasha Henstridge.--TM

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; ADV: Anthony Del Valle; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; TM: Tammy McMahan