Knappster: Who's smarter: Democrats or Republicans?

By George Knapp

As if Republicans and Democrats don't have enough to fight about, here's more fuel for the fire: Which party's members are smarter? The question has recently generated a heated debate on the Internet and has started to seep into cocktail conversations here and around the country.

The question first arose after the 2000 election, when articles appeared to suggest that states that voted for Al Gore had a higher IQ, in general, than the states that went for George W. Bush. A new version of the so-called study indicates an even more obvious trend, arguing that nearly all the states that went for John Kerry have a higher collective IQ than those that went for W.

The study is supposedly based on the results of SAT and ACT tests administered each year to high schools students across the country. According to the extrapolations now making the rounds, the state with the highest IQ (113) is Connecticut, which went for Kerry. Massachusetts (111), New Jersey (111), New York (109), Rhode Island (106), Hawaii (106), Maryland and New Hampshire (105), and Illinois (104) all went for Kerry as well. In fact, the 16 states with the highest IQ levels all voted for Kerry. The Bush state with the highest collective IQ is Virginia at 100, which came in at No. 17.

According to this list, Nevada has an average IQ of 99, tied with Colorado, Iowa, Michigan, Ohio and Oregon in the 19th through the 24th spots. I don't know that an IQ of 99 sounds all that impressive, but then neither does the top score of 113. I mean, that's it? That's the best we've got? I've owned cats that are smarter than that. Smarter than me, for that matter.

Conservatives have raised some pointed questions about this study, although it's hard to believe they would take it too seriously. They've pointed out that the source cited for the original data can't be verified. And they point to other types of data that would prove just the opposite. For example, another comparison looked at a combination of data derived from the 1960 testing program designed to locate gifted kids, and the results of intelligence testing conducted on returning Vietnam veterans. By these standards, the smartest state in the union is Utah, a decidedly GOP-leaning entity with an average score of 105. (Maybe this is because Utah residents are less likely to burn off millions of brain cells because they don't go for the kind of mind-numbing pursuits favored by liberal, hippie, smartypants types during their college days.)

I'm not sure why Democrats would want to bring up the first study, even if it's legitimate, since it would seem to prove that the Dems keep getting beaten in national elections by thick-headed clodhoppers. Is this something to brag about? Is it cause for celebration to know you keep getting skunked by people you consider to be your intellectual inferiors? I wouldn't write home to Mom about it, especially since the original study itself--if it is a study--is suspect.

A separate debate raging in cyberspace is whether George W. is really a dunce, or whether he has a higher IQ than his vanquished, supposedly high-brow opponent. I'm sure the president was able to enter Yale purely on the strength of his insatiable academic curiosity and excellent scholastic achievements, and while it might be tempting to suggest that family ties might have had something to do with it, the same could be said of Kerry, who wasn't exactly lacking in Ivy League connections.

At the risk of alienating my Democratic friends, I have to side with the Republicans on this intelligence question. I'm reminded of a classic episode of "The Simpsons" in which evil industrialist and diehard Republican Montgomery Burns joins a bowling team with Homer and other low-lifes. In the end, after the team has won the championship, Burns seizes the trophy away from his teammates, explaining that teamwork only takes you so far, and that's when the truly evolved person will make a grab for personal glory.

If it comes down to who has the most stuff at the end of the day, Republicans win hands down. Sure, there are rich Democrats, but on average, the serious money of the world is controlled by corporations that are run almost entirely by Republicans. (In fact, the only Republicans who aren't good with money are the ones the GOP keeps electing and sending to Washington to run up record deficits. The average Republican really is a fiscal conservative. It's too bad Republicans don't choose to elect people who feel the same way.)

I remember taking a course in graduate school where we studied Machiavellianism. Social scientists developed a scale for measuring Machiavellian tendencies, that is, manipulative tendencies. I think maybe the Mach scale might be a better gauge of innate intelligence than the IQ tests that are being bandied about. Someone who is good-hearted but gullible is always going to lose to someone who is more calculating, regardless of intelligence levels. Think Nixon vs. McGovern.

By the way, I wrote a paper that year in which I suggested the Mach scale was ridiculous since the truly manipulative person would want to deceive the test and thus hide his or her true nature from the tester. I got an A on the paper, as this had never occurred to the professor before. Maybe this means I'm ready for the GOP.

This week's Monorail Moment

Nice to see so many of my media brethren suddenly remember that the monorail still isn't up and running. No one seems to know exactly what' wrong with the system, but they sure seem to know who's fault it is. Bombardier, the contractor, is to blame, we've all been told, and by golly, they're gonna fix it. We seem to conveniently forget that even though Bombardier has had serious problems all over the world with other transportation systems, it still was the company of choice for LV Monorail executives, none of whom had ever worked with a ground-based mass transit system before.

Let's see, if the monorail shut down on Sept. 8, and it is losing $100,000 a day in missed revenue, that comes out to about $6.9 million so far.

Names and faces

So the Havana Nights crew likes Las Vegas and doesn't want to return to Cuba. Boy, who could have seen that one coming? What next, will some baseball phenom want to row across the gulf and sign a contract with the Yankees? ... Former LV newsman Dave Verbon helped plan the world premiere this week of Breaking Free, a film about people who have to live with addicts. The project was funded and produced by locals who put their homes and businesses on the line to get it done. ... Wow, I finally got to read Tim Dahlberg's beautiful new book Fight Town, about the relationship between Las Vegas and professional pugilism. I used to see Tim at all the fights when he wrote for AP. He always had better seats than me, as I recall, and this book proves he put those seats to great use. It's a great read, and the photos are stunning. ... My friends at Euro Place Ristorante (Sahara and Maryland) are moving in a new direction. Starting this Wednesday, they will feature live entertainment four nights a week. Nathan Archer Wolf, a local blues singer well known on the open mic circuit, will be performing on Wednesday nights over the next few weeks. At the same time, Wolf will be recording an album and music video inside the restaurant. Other blues groups, including some all-stars from the Las Vegas Blues Society, are jamming on Fridays, Sundays and Mondays.