Thursday, October 28, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Alien vs. Predator

1 star (PG-13, 100 min.) A dismally obvious blend of tinny dialogue, fabulously gaudy set design, illogical storytelling, unimpeachable special effects and mindless mayhem, this trashy sci-fi extravaganza salutes globetrotting greed, romanticizes the warrior ethic and regards human as expandable, bloody props. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (does a hack need that many initials?).--RC

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

2 stars (PG-13, 93 min.) Director Dwight H. Little's sequel to the 1997 thriller gives us this big corporate company that has discovered the fountain of youth in the form of a rare blood orchid growing aside a faraway river in Borneo. The nightmare boat trip results in most of the characters getting eaten by the biggest digital snakes you've ever seen. That part's fun. It's the dumb characters who remain alive and talking who are annoying.--ADV

The Bourne Supremacy

4 stars (PG-13, 108 min.) Move over, 007. In Paul Greengrass' action-packed Bourne Identity sequel, Robert Ludlum's imperturbable, CIA-trained assassin is back, the ideal, conflicted hero for our amoral times. Matt Damon's pretty-boy looks make him an unlikely, but chillingly convincing killer; charismatic Joan Allen locks horns with grizzled spymaster Brian Cox, while Franka Potente and Gabriel Mann make welcome return appearances.--AA

Cellular

2 1/2 stars (R, 92 min.) Jessica (Kim Basinger) is kidnapped and locked in a room in an unknown location. She gets hold of a semi-functioning phone and makes random contact with a young slacker on a cell (Chris Evans). Can she keep him on the line long enough to convince him to help her? Can he figure out how to help a woman whose location can't be traced? And even if he can help her, will the good guys get there before the bad guys waste her? If you are on the edge of your seat already, then you may find director David R. Ellis' one-gimmick film a pleasant waste of time. Otherwise, definitely, stay away.--ADV

Collateral

3 stars (R, 119 min.) In Michael Mann's claustrophobic genre thriller, L.A. cab driver Jamie Foxx picks up expressionless Tom Cruise, a hit man with five victims on his one-night to-do list. A classy but predictable hit-and-run movie, full of menace in the familiar bustle of public spaces. With Jada Pinkett Smith, Mark Ruffalo.--JC

Everest

4 stars (NR, 44 min.) Co-director David Breashears' harrowing, 1998 Imax documentary chronicles the disastrous 1996 climbing season, when eight climbers perished in a freak storm on the world's highest peak. Featuring Jamling Tenzing Norgay, Ed Viesturs. Beck Weathers. Narrated by Liam Neeson.--AA

Faster

3 stars (NR, 103 min.) Mark Neale's documentary (narrated by Ewan McGregor) about the Motorcycle Grand Prix five-continent world championships during the 2001 and 2002 seasons isn't structured for maximum dramatic effect. Lots of people will be bored. But it throws you into the world of high-speed motorcross racing so thoroughly that it achieves its kick on its own terms. We get to know about a half-dozen competitors and come to understand why they're so willing to risk their life for a chance to feel fast.--ADV

First Daughter

1 star (PG, 104 min.) Substitute college for a tour of Europe and First Daughter is Chasing Liberty all over again. Tired of being shadowed by bodyguards, paparazzi and daddy (Michael Keaton), good-girl Samantha (Katie Holmes, bland as Wonder Bread) heads for college in hopes of being corrupted by movie clichés (the sassy roommate, the cute freshman adviser). If this were a Sandra Dee movie, she'd be disowned and destitute by the third reel.--JC

The Forgotten

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 90 min.) This is one of those psychological thrillers that keeps you on the edge of your seat--until it starts to make sense. The more you understand what's really going on, the less you like it. Julianne Moore plays a woman whose 8-year-old son may or may not have been killed in a plane crash 14 months ago. In fact, she may not have ever had a son at all. Is she delusional due to her miscarriage eight years ago? Or is her husband trying to make her think she's crazy? Or is there some diabolical group who wants her to think her son never existed? The answers, unfortunately, are far less interesting than the questions.--ADV

Friday Night Lights

4 1/2 stars (PG-13, 117 min.) Director Peter Berg draws us remorselessly into the dying town of Odessa, Texas, circa 1988, and a community obsessed with its high school football team's tumultuous path to the state championship. It's one of those rare sports movies that places the seductive cruelties of the game front and center. There are some standard sports movie clichés, but the wood here is much more interesting than the trees. With Billy Bob Thornton and Lucas Black.--JC

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 100 min.) Director/writer Mamoru Oshii's sequel to his 1995 original animation features a 2032 robot cop with a human soul who teams up with a human partner (give or take one or two spare parts). They're out to solve a mystery involving robot geishas going haywir--as in committing suicide after murdering people. Or things. Or people/things. The heavy-handed plot makes little sense, but the animation is extraordinary. The film's sense of spectacle puts everything from Cleopatra to Blade Runner to shame.--ADV

The Grudge

3 1/2 stars (PG-13; 96 min.) Takashi Shimizu's fifth in a series about a curse emanating from the scene of a violent murder delivers more creep per minute than your average haunted house thriller. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays an exchange student who discovers a bedridden old woman in a messy house with bodies in the attic, a little boy imprisoned in a closet, an amorphous black shape and more scary noises than an episode of "American Idol." You may never go to bed again.--JC

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen.

I Heart Huckabees

4 stars (R, 106 min.) Writer-director David O. Russell's messianic screwball comedy is an attack on surfaces and those who cling to them. There is a story of sorts having to do with an environment activist Jason Schwartzman) trying to prevent a retail chain from building on valuable wetlands. But Russell refuses to make it easy, and most people will leave the theater looking dazed. With Mark Wahlberg, Isabelle Huppert, Naomi Watts and Lily Tomlin and a hilarious Beatle-haired Dustin Hoffman as a pair of existential detectives.--JC

I, Robot

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 115 min.) Will Smith deploys his raging charm as a hard-bitten homicide cop who, in 2035 Chicago, investigates the death of robot maven James Cromwell, with help from ice queen Bridget Moynahan. In his film suggested by Isaac Asimov's 1950 book, Alex Proyas (Dark City) retains enough of Asimov's chilling vision to counteract the studio-pic compromises. Surprisingly smart. With Bruce Greenwood, Alan Tudyk.--AA

Ladder 49

1 1/2 star (PG-13; 112 min.) Baltimore. Modern day. Firefighter Jack Morrison (Joaquin Phoenix) lies trapped in a burning building and thinks back on his past. Lucky for him, he apparently lived a life full of happy clichés. Lewis Collick's script subscribes so heavily to typical pre-adolescent boys' fantasy image of maleness, that never once does it slip and create a three-dimensional hero. Director Jay Russell provides some first-rate action sequences, and Phoenix fills the void of his role well. But the film is an insult. It suggests firemen are as shallow and simple-minded and lacking in variety as cardboard caricatures.--ADV

The Last Shot

3 stars (PG-13, 96 min.) A smart but convoluted comedy about the FBI's 1985 sting operation against Mafia boss John Gotti. The directorial debut of screenwriter Jeff Nathanson suffers from overplotting and overacting, including a dreadful Calista Flockhart as a histrionic girlfriend to Alec Baldwin. With Joan Cusack and Toni Collette.--JC

The Motorcycle Diaries

3 stars (R, 128 min.) Ernesto Guevara De la Serna is a mere amber glow in the liquid brown eyes of actor Gael Garcia Bernal (Y Tu Mama Tambien) in Walter Salles' gauzy-filtered, starry eyed biopic of the complicated rebel. The movie chronicles a 5,000-mile journey from Argentina to Venezuela taken by the then-23-year-old medical student and his best friend, Albert Granado (Rodrigo De la Serna), which begins the transformation of Che from mama's boy to revolutionary.--JC

Mr. 3000

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 104 min.) Comedian Bernie Mac is Stan Ross, a Milwaukee Brewers first baseman who becomes the 12th player ever to get 3,000 hits--until it's discovered three hits were counted twice. The retired 47-year-old must now try to figure out a way back into the world of the Brewers, and he finds it's a whole new ballgame. The movie tries to be about a lot of things, from the pitfalls of egotism to issues about age and the media. But Mac's shtick keeps getting in the way. His hammy presence is ironic given that his character is supposed to learn something about the merits of teamwork. Whoops.--MP

Napoleon Dynamite

2 1/2 stars (PG, 86 min.) Driving writer-director Jared Hess' plotless debut is Jon Heder who, as a geek for the ages, pulls back on the charisma for the sake of deadpan misanthropy. He's arrogant, dishonest, socially inept, hyper-defensive and downright rude. But in a movie where everyone's a loser, he becomes our de facto hero, eventually exuding a certain geek chic. But there's not much of a payoff; the film doesn't go anywhere.--MP

NASCAR: The Imax Experience

2 1/2 stars (PG, 48 min.) Simon Wincer's flagrant promo flick is expensive entertainment that requires tiresome 3D glasses to watch. But it delivers some of the visceral, ear-shattering excitement of race day. Narrated by Kiefer Sutherland.--AA

Ocean Wonderland 3D

Not reviewed (NR, 44 min.) Filmed in the Bahamas and Australia, this Imax doc features rays, sharks, dolphins and other marine life in 3D.

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

0 stars (G, 113 min.) It's impossible to describe the sheer awfulness of Garry Marshall's sequel to his 2001 fairy tale, in which Bay Area teen-cum-European royal Anne Hathaway has to choose between English duke Callum Blue and hunk Chris Pine. A meretricious insult. With Julie Andrews, John Rhys-Davies.--AA

Raise Your Voice

2 stars (PG, 100 min.) Hilary Duff is a 16-year-old Flagstaff high school student who wants to get into an exclusive Los Angeles music summer school. She gets in, but her brother dies just before she's accepted. At school, she meets this hunk (Oliver James) who says things like, "You can't blame yourself." There's also a vixen (Lauren Mayhew) out to get the hunk and, worse, all of Hilary's solos. Plus, Daddy (David Keith) wants his little girl at home where he can protect her. It's Fame, Footloose, Peyton Place and "Hilary Duff's Greatest Hits" all rolled into one moist glob.--ADV

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

0 stars (R, 90 min.) Director Alexander Witt and writer Paul W.S. Anderson know their target audience well. They understand that pre-brain Playstation 11-year-old males only care about explosions and chases and big-breasted women, so they don't bother with movies that have beginnings, middles and ends. We don't even get the pleasure of clever body mutilations. There's a bad monster, though, who becomes good when he looks into the eyes of Milla Jovovich, which reminds us that even in video games, lust conquers all.--ADV

Saints and Soldiers

4 stars (PG-13, 90 min.) Director/cinematographer Ryan Little's small-scale but immensely moving film avoids war clichés while giving us, in essence, a typical war movie story. The plot throws together survivors from the 1944 Malmedy Massacre who are trying to make it back from behind enemy lines to an American command outpost. While the film is cerebral, it's filled with solid action, suspense and poetic visual images. The result is a gem of a war movie with an unusually convincing reality base. We feel as if there's no distance between us and the fighting men. And that lack of distance is the movie's point.--ADV

Shall We Dance?

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 90 min.) Richard Gere is a basically happy attorney who takes dance lessons on the sly when he realizes he wants something more in life. The passion of dance--along with the blue-collar friends he makes at the studio--awakens the passion in his life. It's a sweet story sabotaged by routine characters and dumb plot turns. A very gooey everybody's-happy finale has been tacked on to make sure the audience goes out weeping with love. The film is kept afloat by a top-notch supporting cast (excluding the waxen Jennifer Lopez).--ADV

Shark Tale

1 star (PG, 90 min.) In a time when computer animation flicks have raised the standard of family-geared entertainment, Shark Tale is just plain lazy, from its derivative premise and unimaginative aesthetic to its witless gags and one-dimensional characterizations. The film essentially pits Oscar, a fish voiced by Will Smith, against a family of Mafia-like sharks, and this opens the stereotype floodgates within seconds of the film's beginning. Lots of generation-specific references that make the film already feel dated.--MP

Shaun of the Dead

4 stars (R, 99 min.) A welcome blast of fetid air that is a lovingly hilarious tribute to just about anyone who ever had fun with rotting flesh. An underachieving TV salesman (Simon Pegg) who's about to lose his girlfriend (Kate Ashfield) because he spends too much time with his freeloading best friend (Nick Frost) is caught in the middle of the shambling undead who are taking over his North London neighborhood. Director/co-writer Edgar Wright's film is devastatingly clever.--JC

Shrek 2

3 1/2 stars (PG, 105 min.) The sequel barrels along, with Shrek, Fiona and Donkey (Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy) visiting Fiona's parents (John Cleese, Julie Andrews). A maniacal stew of pop culture, mythology, and fairytale characters. Lively, entertaining and quite funny. With inspired Jennifer Saunders and show-stealer Antonio Banderas.--JC

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

3 1/2 stars (PG, 106 min.) Writer and first-time feature director Kerry Conran's decision to shoot this comic-strip adventure almost entirely before bluescreens and then digitally "paint" the backgrounds makes his routine plot look like nothing we've ever seen before. The feel as if they're being seen through a dreamer's eyes, or a window during heavy rain. It's a perfect visual style for a childlike tale of 1939 bang-bang male heroics and tough-lady glamour. Still, the story, about a hard edged reporter (Gwyneth Paltrow) who teams up with a heroic air pilot (Jude Law) and a one-eyed commander (Angelina Jolie) to fight a mad German scientist, runs out of steam way too early.--ADV

Spider-Man 2

4 stars (PG-13, 127 min.) Unmasked hero Peter Parker (again played magnificently by Tobey Maguire) faces his beloved M.J. (Kirsten Dunst) and superlative villain "Doc Ock" (Alfred Molina), whose writhing metal tentacles are hell-bent on world domination. Sam Raimi's reverent realization of Stan Lee's comic-book vision makes the fantastic achingly human. This layered sequel's improved computer graphics make its predecessor look positively earthbound.--JC

Surviving Christmas

1 star (PG-13, 92 min.) Ben Affleck plays a successful but lonely marketing executive who "rents" a family (headed by the Sopranos' James Gandolfini) for the Christmas holidays. Affleck's role calls for him to be annoying, and though he does that well, he's treading on Adam Sandler territory. His exasperating demeanor isn't enough to sell the flick's holiday schmaltz.--MP

Taxi

1/2 star (PG-13, 97 min.) Jimmy Fallon plays an inept New York cop who stumbles upon a bank robbery and gives chase in the cab of newly licensed Queen Latifah, only to find the robbers are a posse of lethal Brazilian supermodels, led by Gisele Bundchen (minus her Victoria's Secret wings). The script relies on endless repetition of unfunny ideas. No one gets out of director Tim Story's mess alive.--JC

Team America: World Police

4 stars (R, 98 min.) "South Park" masterminds Trey Parker and Matt Stone outrageously skewer anyone participating in the debate over American identity and foreign diplomacy, delivering equal-opportunity hilarity. The plot follows a task force's exploits to prevent terrorist attacks all over the world. The characters are marionettes who battle, sing, grandstand, puke and have sex. The film essentially isolates the overearnest American response 9/11 and makes it seem even more ridiculous.--MP

Warriors of Heaven and Earth

3 stars (R, 120 min.) Writer/director He Ping blends realism and sci-fi to give us a mystical Chinese western of good vs. evil. The story, about two 8th century heroic swordsmen who are bound by honor to do battle with one another, is enjoyable pulp, although occasionally pretentious. Cinematographer Zhao Fei provides some masterful visuals, and A.R. Rahman delivers an ominous score.--ADV

Without a Paddle

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 99 min.) Director Steven Brill's lamebrained, sub-Deliverance comedy-adventure about three city slickers (Seth Green, Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard) getting lost in the woods. They encounter the usual scary suspects, including, scariest of all, Deliverance star Burt Reynolds trying to act from behind a bushy beard.--AA

The Yes Men

3 1/2 stars (R, 83 min.) Most of this satirical documentary--helmed by Chris Smith, Dan Ollman and Sarah Price (American Pie)--chronicles how two cost-efficient activists punk the world's economic intelligentsia by assuming the identities of World Trade Organization representatives and relaying its absurd philosophies in meaningless financial tongues. The sometimes uproarious lengths these men will go to expose the evils of globalization make this true-we-swear account genuinely entertaining.--MP

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; ADV: Anthony Del Valle; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; RC: Robert Chancey