Thursday, September 02, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Alien vs. Predator

1 star (PG-13, 100 min.) A dismally obvious blend of tinny dialogue, fabulously gaudy set design, illogical storytelling, unimpeachable special effects and mindless mayhem, this trashy sci-fi extravaganza salutes globetrotting greed, romanticizes the warrior ethic and regards human as expandable, bloody props. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (does a hack need that many initials?).--RC

Anchorman

Zero stars (PG-13, 94 min.) In an outtake in Adam McKay's 1970s newsroom parody, pitting ambitious feminist Christina Applegate against unreconstructed male chauvinists, Will Ferrell groans, "This is the most ridiculous thing ever." Almost. This sophomoric farrago also features Tim Robbins, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and Luke Wilson.--AA

Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

2 stars (PG-13, 93 min.) Director Dwight H. Little's sequel to the 1997 thriller gives us this big corporate company that has discovered the fountain of youth in the form of a rare blood orchid growing aside a faraway river in Borneo. The nightmare boat trip results in most of the characters getting eaten by the biggest digital snakes you've ever seen. That part's fun. It's the dumb characters who remain alive and talking who are annoying.--ADV

The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi

3 1/2 stars (R, 116 min.) Writer-director-actor-editor Takeshi Kitano turns a gangland battle into a pleasantly erratic cartoon-like film that's pretty nutty. There's lots of blood, but also a running gag with a screaming idiot pretending he's a samurai, an out-of-nowhere dance sequence, a transvestite geisha, and plenty of flashbacks and plot twists. Amid the unconventional elements are magnetic, well-developed characters and an ending that you won't be able to predict. --MP

The Bourne Supremacy

4 stars (PG-13, 108 min.) Move over, 007. In Paul Greengrass' action-packed Bourne Identity sequel, Robert Ludlum's imperturbable, CIA-trained assassin is back, the ideal, conflicted hero for our amoral times. Matt Damon's pretty-boy looks make him an unlikely, but chillingly convincing killer; charismatic Joan Allen locks horns with grizzled spymaster Brian Cox, while Franka Potente and Gabriel Mann make welcome return appearances.--AA

Catwoman

1/2 star (PG-13, 105 min.) Before being reborn as Garfield's wet dream, Halle Berry is Patience Phillips, mild-mannered artist for Sharon Stone's cosmetics company. Too sexually provocative for kids, too imbecilic for adults, French director Pitof's Batman spinoff resembles an extended promo for an asinine, hip-hop version of Cats. Another reeking, Hollywood hairball.--JC

Collateral

3 stars (R, 119 min.) In Michael Mann's claustrophobic genre thriller, L.A. cab driver Jamie Foxx picks up expressionless Tom Cruise, a hit man with five victims on his one-night to-do list. A classy but predictable hit-and-run movie, full of menace in the familiar bustle of public spaces. With Jada Pinkett Smith, Mark Ruffalo.--JC

A Day Without a Mexican

2 1/2 stars (R, 100 min.) Director/writer Sergio Arau's digitally shot satire sets up a promising premise: Californians wake up one day to find all their state's Mexican residents gone. Leaf blowers operate without their owners. Chaos erupts at a car wash. Produce must be smuggled into the state. But the film concentrates so much on being the big piss that it ignores its thematic purpose; its intentions are consistently ambiguous.--MP

Everest

4 stars (NR, 44 min.) Co-director David Breashears' harrowing, 1998 Imax documentary chronicles the disastrous 1996 climbing season, when eight climbers perished in a freak storm on the world's highest peak. Featuring Jamling Tenzing Norgay, Ed Viesturs. Beck Weathers. Narrated by Liam Neeson.--AA

Exorcist: The Beginning

1 star (R, 114 min.) A repulsive, shallow and pretentious valentine to the redemptive power of the Catholic Church. Written by Alexi Hawley and directed by Renny Harlin, this prequel is set in Africa in 1949 and deals with the younger days of Father Merrin. As portrayed here by Stellan Skarsgard, Merrin is a swaggering, sodden archaeologist who has denounced God because of the horrors committed by the Nazis during World II. Call him Indiana Groans in the Tempo of Doom.--RC

Fahrenheit 9/11

4 1/2 stars (NR, 123 min.) Michael Moore's timely exposé of the machinations of the Bush administration is also a devastating indictment of subservient news media. This ambitious attempt to connect the dots of a story that begins with the 2000 election and ends with the carnage in Iraq is driven by a sinister thesis: The wholesale hijacking of our civil liberties. A searing, startling film and a heartfelt portrait of unfettered political arrogance.--JC

Garden State

4 stars (R, 101 min.) Twenty-nine year old director/writer/star Zach Braff's debut film about a young man afraid of finding his adult life is an astonishing achievement. When his paraplegic mother dies in a freak bathtub accident, struggling Los Angeles actor Andrew Largman (Braff) is forced to return to his New Jersey home where his adventures with friends, girlfriend (Natalie Portman) and control-freak Dad (a magnificent Ian Holm) change him. Affectionate and goofy, the film has a dreamy, low-key vibe that's refreshingly free of smart-allecky attitude.--JC

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

2 stars (R, 87 min.) Potheads will love Dude, Where's My Car? director Danny Leiner's ditzy satire, chronicling the picaresque misadventures of two New Jersey stoners (endearingly bumbling John Cho and Kal Penn) en route for the titular hamburger joint. Less synaptically impaired viewers will be unamused, despite writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg's rousing conclusion. With Neil Patrick Harris.--AA

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

4 stars (PG, 141 min.) Teen wizard Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and pals Ron and Hermione (Rupert Grint, Emma Watson) encounter escapee Gary Oldman, mysterious David Thewlis, imperious Alan Rickman, and ditzy Emma Thompson. Alfonso Cuarón follows the darker turn of J.K. Rowling's third novel, weaving fantasy, horror and humor into a playful take on teen angst.--TM

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen.

Hero

4 stars (PG-13, 99 min.) A rousing adventure and soulful love triangle about a mysterious young warrior (Jet Li), this film is an unexpected choice for Asian superstar director Zhang Yimou, whose previous films (Ju Dou, Raise the Red Lantern) have mined quieter, more modern material. This is the most expensive Chinese movie to date, more spiritual, more romantic, and, if possible, even more ravishing than Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.--JC

Intimate Strangers

3 1/2 stars (R, 105 min.) Patrice Leconte's delightful new romantic mystery about a fussy tax accountant (Fabrice Luchini) who unexpectedly meets a damsel in distress (Sandrine Bonnaire) when she mistakes his office for the psychiatrist's down the hall. As William and Anna continue their "sessions," their role-playing--at first inadvertent, then deliberate--becomes a way to reveal themselves without emotional risk. But as Anna's secrets become darker, a hint of madness and murder hangs in the air. The film's a masterful tease.--JC

I, Robot

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 115 min.) Will Smith deploys his raging charm as a hard-bitten homicide cop who, in 2035 Chicago, investigates the death of robot maven James Cromwell, with help from ice queen Bridget Moynahan. In his film suggested by Isaac Asimov's 1950 book, Alex Proyas (Dark City) retains enough of Asimov's chilling vision to counteract the studio-pic compromises. Surprisingly smart. With Bruce Greenwood, Alan Tudyk.--AA

Little Black Book

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 106 min.) In Nick Hurran's mix of modern morality tale and daytime TV satire, talk show staffer Brittany Murphy snoops into boyfriend Ron Livingston's Palm Pilot and interviews his ex-lovers (Josie Maran, Rashida Jones and Julianne Nicholson). Mildly amusing, instantly forgettable. With Kathy Bates, Holly Hunter and a sickly Carly Simon soundtrack.--AA

The Manchurian Candidate

4 stars (R, 135 min.) In his remake of John Frankenheimer's 1962 classic, Jonathan Demme was smart to cast Denzel Washington, the personification of last-straw integrity. Haunted by brutal nightmares involving war hero and vice presidential candidate Raymond Shaw (Liev Schreiber), Gulf War veteran Bennett Marco (Washington) uncovers something even more horrific. A tight, exciting political thriller, more literal than its predecessor, that hurtles smoothly forward, graced by great performances. With Meryl Streep, Kimberly Elise.--JC

Napoleon Dynamite

2 1/2 stars (PG, 86 min.) Driving writer-director Jared Hess' plotless debut is Jon Heder who, as a geek for the ages, pulls back on the charisma for the sake of deadpan misanthropy. He's arrogant, dishonest, socially inept, hyper-defensive and downright rude. But in a movie where everyone's a loser, he becomes our de facto hero, eventually exuding a certain geek chic. But there's not much of a payoff; the film doesn't go anywhere.--MP

NASCAR: The Imax Experience

2 1/2 stars (PG, 48 min.) Simon Wincer's flagrant promo flick is expensive entertainment that requires tiresome 3D glasses to watch. But it delivers some of the visceral, ear-shattering excitement of race day. Narrated by Kiefer Sutherland.--AA

The Notebook

1 star (PG-13, 123 min.) James Garner reads Gena Rowlands the tale of star-crossed lovers (Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams) whose 1940 North Carolina romance was cruelly curtailed. Nick Cassavetes' syrupy film of Nicholas Sparks' novel is formulaic, manipulative tripe. With Joan Allen, James Marsden.--AA

Ocean Wonderland 3D

Not reviewed (NR, 44 min.) Filmed in the Bahamas and Australia, this Imax doc features rays, sharks, dolphins and other marine life in 3D.

Open Water

4 stars (R; 79 min.) There may be five stages of grief but there are at least a dozen stages of fear, and this film, about a young married couple who get stranded in the middle the ocean while on a scuba diving vacation, gooses every last one of them. Stripped down-filmmaking at its finest.--JC

Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism

3 1/2 stars (NR, 78 min.) Funded by MoveOn.org and the Center for American Progress, director Robert Greenwold's documentary is a blithely unsubtle pounding on Murdoch's Fox News Network and its blatant propagation of Republican rhetoric.--MP

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Zero stars (G, 113 min.) It's impossible to describe the sheer awfulness of Garry Marshall's sequel to his 2001 fairy tale, in which Bay Area teen-cum-European royal Anne Hathaway has to choose between English duke Callum Blue and hunk Chris Pine. A meretricious insult. With Julie Andrews, John Rhys-Davies. --AA

Spider-Man 2

4 stars (PG-13, 127 min.) Unmasked hero Peter Parker (again played magnificently by Tobey Maguire) faces his beloved M.J. (Kirsten Dunst) and superlative villain "Doc Ock" (Alfred Molina), whose writhing metal tentacles are hell-bent on world domination. Sam Raimi's reverent realization of Stan Lee's comic-book vision makes the fantastic achingly human. This layered sequel's improved computer graphics make its predecessor look positively earthbound.--JC

The Village

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 106 min.) M. Night Shyamalan has focused on concocting twists, and impossible expectations. In a 19th century village surrounded by dense woods, weird sounds emanate from "Those We Do Not Speak Of." Joaquin Phoenix goes for help, first pledging himself to blind lass Bryce Dallas Howard. A crime occurs, the twist is revealed. Banal, obvious and a huge disappointment. With Adrien Brody, William Hurt.--JC

We Don't Live Here Anymore

3 stars (R, 101 min.) Based on two novellas by the late Andre Dubus, director John Curran's film gnaws on a menage-a-quatre between two equally dysfunctional married couples. Jack and Terry Linden (Mark Ruffalo and Laura Dern) have two kids, a sprawling, chaotic house and what might delicately be called a communication problem. Their best friends (Peter Krause and Naomi Watts) are each having an affair with their best friend's mate. Although the actors play this material with stunning commitment--particularly Dern--the film is a thoughtful but dreary examination of narcissism, disconnection and emotional dishonesty.--JC

White Chicks

3 stars (PG-13, 100 min.) FBI agents Marlon and Shawn Wayans foil a kidnapping by impersonating two airhead Hampton socialites (Anne Dudek, Maitland Ward). Keenen Ivory Wayans' comedy is stupid, crude, at times inept, illogical, and alas, often very funny.--ADV

Without a Paddle

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 99 min.) Director Steven Brill's lamebrained, sub-Deliverance comedy-adventure about three city slickers (Seth Green, Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard) getting lost in the woods. They encounter the usual scary suspects, including, scariest of all, Deliverance star Burt Reynolds trying to act from behind a bushy beard.--AA

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Zero stars (PG, 88 min.) In their kids' TV spinoff, director Ryusoke Takahashi and creator Kazuki Takahashi give us the tale of a boy obsessed with a card game that calls forth imaginative monsters. Teaches kids that good friends come in handy when you're about to be destroyed by an evil Egyptian omen. But I suspect even children are sophisticated enough to understand that a film should feel more alive than a trading card.--ADV

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; ADV: Anthony Del Valle; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; TM: Tammy McMahan