The Homeowner: Making a list, checking it often

By Mike Prevatt

It's that time. I open my laptop, boot up, slip into something more comfortable and lean back in my chair. I point the mouse at my bookmarks and look for that special website I visit every night. I'm feeling lucky.

I find the "missed connections" link and click on it. There are several posts with today's date on it, so I narrow the list to ones marked M4M (men for men). I quickly look through the choices to see if any of the headers describe someone like me. Let's see...there's "at the car wash," which can't be me, as my ride is currently filthier than a bathhouse regular. There's one directed to "Frank from France" and "Joey mexican" [sic], neither of which is for my Euro-mutt ass. And there's one looking for a cute blond boy with nice arms and tattoos spotted at the supermarket early this morning, and a quick look at my twiggy, ink-free arms lets me know that no strangers are looking for me online today.

Okay, it's not so much that I'm feverishly waiting for some handsome passerby to make contact with me online (like that would ever happen). It's just one of a million things I love incessantly checking out at Craigslist.org, the greatest-ever website (that is, next to Bulgereport.com).

Craigslist made its presence known to me about a year ago, when I was looking for a day job and someone suggested a less-corporate job listings site. So I went to the CL page made for my city, and I quickly found thousands of job listings--along with lots of other interesting categories and postings, from things people were giving away for free to a discussion board on music. There was so much cyberjunk to wade through, it's arguably distracted me from the goal for which I was visiting CL in the first place. But, oh, the adventures I've had on Craig's super-sized online community board.

Craig is Craig Newmark, a 51-year-old techie from San Francisco who used to send out e-mail lists to his pals about things of interest going on in the city. Naturally, recipients had Newmark add announcements, solicitations and such to the growing lists, to such an extent that he finally turned it into a website. Nine years later, Craigslist.org has separate sites for 35 cities (including Las Vegas), where locals can seek out literally anything they want.

While all sorts of people--5 million of them a month, according to recent statistics--visit Craigslist, I've noticed it's a place particularly of appeal to homeowners, as there are several sections for the gay and lesbian community to visit and post and waste time. There are the general interest places, such as the missed connections, as well as the rant/rave page--home to some of the most fervent gay-themed debates, inadvertently pitting us against big, bad, blustery right-wingers. There are three discussion rooms specifically for the gay community that--at least in the M4M room--have plenty of robust commentary, catty banter, Bush bashing and links to hot Internet porn.

And, of course, there are the personals areas that, for better and worse, have done more for gay sex than meth and elliptical exercise machines put together. If you're looking for a no-strings-attached romp with someone nearby, you can search ads or post in the men seeking men/women for women or casual encounter rooms. For those seeking more relationship-based connections, you can scroll through the miscellaneous romance and strictly platonic pages. And for those who like or need to pay for it, there's a general erotic services area, where erstwhile porn stars and cash-strapped college boys will gladly spread 'em for the right price.

I find it hard to believe that any CL surfer is a mere wallflower, especially because, given the anonymity it guarantees, there's not much to lose by being a participant. And sometimes you just can't help it. For instance, if someone advertises Leviticus 18:22 as a justification for his homophobia in the rant/rave section, I can immediately post a laundry list of biblical "laws" broken by the devout every day.

Being a gay Craigslister has it perks, and I've definitely scored there in the past. I once hooked up with a guy from CL, thanks to a random post on the men-seeking-men page that indicated the author and I had more than just surging hormones in common (I was wrong, but whatever--homeboy was hot). Looking for Modest Mouse concert tickets earlier this summer, I found a posting by a casual seller eager to sell some--only if the buyer was gay and was interested in meeting up with him and another gay alternative rock fan. I answered, nabbed the tickets and made two new friends in the process.

And even I had some minor luck on the missed connections page. No, I didn't find anyone looking for me, but I decided once to publish something based on a random meeting with a guy I had at a bar the night before, and the dude actually answered. Of course, he was lame and nothing more happened. Craig's website doesn't promise miracles, but it certainly makes interaction--and procrastination--much more enjoyable.

The Homeowner appears biweekly. Send your comments and nude pics to oughtabeinporn@yahoo.com.