Thursday, September 30, 2004
Copyright © Las Vegas Mercury

Film shorts

Alien vs. Predator

1 star (PG-13, 100 min.) A dismally obvious blend of tinny dialogue, fabulously gaudy set design, illogical storytelling, unimpeachable special effects and mindless mayhem, this trashy sci-fi extravaganza salutes globetrotting greed, romanticizes the warrior ethic and regards human as expandable, bloody props. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (does a hack need that many initials?).--RC

Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

2 stars (PG-13, 93 min.) Director Dwight H. Little's sequel to the 1997 thriller gives us this big corporate company that has discovered the fountain of youth in the form of a rare blood orchid growing aside a faraway river in Borneo. The nightmare boat trip results in most of the characters getting eaten by the biggest digital snakes you've ever seen. That part's fun. It's the dumb characters who remain alive and talking who are annoying.--ADV

The Bourne Supremacy

4 stars (PG-13, 108 min.) Move over, 007. In Paul Greengrass' action-packed Bourne Identity sequel, Robert Ludlum's imperturbable, CIA-trained assassin is back, the ideal, conflicted hero for our amoral times. Matt Damon's pretty-boy looks make him an unlikely, but chillingly convincing killer; charismatic Joan Allen locks horns with grizzled spymaster Brian Cox, while Franka Potente and Gabriel Mann make welcome return appearances.--AA

Bright Young Things

5 stars (R, 105 min.) Writer and first-time director Stephen Fry, with a little help from Evelyn Waugh's 1930 novel Vile Bodies, has created a sometimes-brilliant look at those spoiled, young British slackers who partied away the time between the world wars. Fry's visceral understanding of the lure of decadence, and the people who suffer from it while smiling, dancing and drinking, make this a great little film. Memorable characters come and go so often and so frantically that you wonder if maybe World War II might have merely been the explosion of England's fast pulse. The skilled acting from a slew of veterans--from Peter O'Toole to Dan Aykroyd--is matched by the work of maybe half-a-dozen newcomers who deserve major careers.--ADV

Cellular

2 1/2 stars (R, 92 min.) Jessica (Kim Basinger) is kidnapped and locked in a room in an unknown location. She gets hold of a semi-functioning phone and makes random contact with a young slacker on a cell (Chris Evans). Can she keep him on the line long enough to convince him to help her? Can he figure out how to help a woman whose location can't be traced? And even if he can help her, will the good guys get there before the bad guys waste her? If you are on the edge of your seat already, then you may find director David R. Ellis' one-gimmick film a pleasant waste of time. Otherwise, definitely, stay away.--ADV

The Cookout

0 stars (PG-13, 85 min.) A nice guy (Storm P) becomes a No. 1 NBA draft pick and starts to lose his head, buying mansions and hanging out with slutty chicks. Mama (Jenifer Lewis) hopes a family cookout will bring sonny back to Earth. But the shindig results in a clash between phony rich people and sonny's "real friends" who know how to fart and smoke pot. Producer Queen Latifah has a small role as a security guard dreaming of making it to the big time by becoming a cop. The film is crudely made and stupidly simple, but that's no excuse for it being dull.--ADV

Collateral

3 stars (R, 119 min.) In Michael Mann's claustrophobic genre thriller, L.A. cab driver Jamie Foxx picks up expressionless Tom Cruise, a hit man with five victims on his one-night to-do list. A classy but predictable hit-and-run movie, full of menace in the familiar bustle of public spaces. With Jada Pinkett Smith, Mark Ruffalo.--JC

Criminal

4 stars (R, 85 min.) Co-writer and first-time director Gregory Jacobs' crime caper is made alive by the relationship between its two main characters. Richard Gaddis (John C. Reilly) is the sort of middle-aged son-of-a-bitch who cheats with glee little old ladies out of their savings. Rodrigo (Diego Luna) is a poor Los Angeles Mexican who steals only to help his debt-ridden father. They team up because, as Richard tells Rodrigo, "You have one thing that money and practice can't buy: You look like a nice guy." The film is marred by an unlikely ending, but the team's uneasy marriage makes for a beautifully unsentimental look at two colorful hustlers.--ADV

A Day Without a Mexican

2 1/2 stars (R, 100 min.) Director/writer Sergio Arau's digitally shot satire sets up a promising premise: Californians wake up one day to find all their state's Mexican residents gone. Leaf blowers operate without their owners. Chaos erupts at a car wash. Produce must be smuggled into the state. But the film concentrates so much on being the big piss that it ignores its thematic purpose; its intentions are consistently ambiguous.--MP

A Dirty Shame

3 1/2 stars (NC-17; 88 min.) In the blue-collar Baltimore suburb of Hartford Row, something lewd is afoot. Hairy homosexuals are frolicking on their front lawn, respectable marrieds are doing it on the breakfast table and ancient crones are molesting the paper boy. Welcome to John Waters' latest assault on middlebrow taste and right-wing repression. Tracey Ullman is a bored housewife who suffers a blow to the head and emerges a raving sex fiend. Selma Blair is her massively overdeveloped daughter who's under arrest for flashing her gargantuan hooters. And Johnny Knoxville is the leader of the local sex addict cult. By the time movie's over, you'll either be weak with laughter or a card-carrying Republican.--JC

Everest

4 stars (NR, 44 min.) Co-director David Breashears' harrowing, 1998 Imax documentary chronicles the disastrous 1996 climbing season, when eight climbers perished in a freak storm on the world's highest peak. Featuring Jamling Tenzing Norgay, Ed Viesturs. Beck Weathers. Narrated by Liam Neeson.--AA

Exorcist: The Beginning

1 star (R, 114 min.) A repulsive, shallow and pretentious valentine to the redemptive power of the Catholic Church. Written by Alexi Hawley and directed by Renny Harlin, this prequel is set in Africa in 1949 and deals with the younger days of Father Merrin. As portrayed here by Stellan Skarsgard, Merrin is a swaggering, sodden archaeologist who has denounced God because of the horrors committed by the Nazis during World II. Call him Indiana Groans in the Tempo of Doom.--RC

Facing Windows

3 stars (R, 106 min.) Director and co-writer Ferzan Ozpetek's Italian drama gives off a lot of pleasure. It's a story of a fairly content housewife (Giovanna Mezzogiorno) in modern Rome who suddenly wants something more. She becomes involved with an attractive man (Rauol Bova) in the apartment complex across the way, whom she's been spying on from her window. In the middle of this triangle steps a disoriented elderly man (the brilliant late Massimo Girotti), wandering the streets, whom the married couple, against their better judgment, decide to befriend. The film turns preachy when we discover the connection between events. Still, it's often exquisite. It may simply be that Ozpetek doesn't yet understand how quickly his talent allows him to make his points.--ADV

The Forgotten

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 90 min.) This is one of those psychological thrillers that keeps you on the edge of your seat until it starts to make sense. The more you understand what's really going on, the less you like it. Julianne Moore plays a woman whose 8-year-old son may or may not have been killed in a plane crash 14 months ago. In fact, she may not have ever had a son at all. Is she delusional due to her miscarriage eight years ago? Or is her husband trying to make her think she's crazy? Or is there some diabolical group who wants her to think her son never existed? The answers, unfortunately, are far less interesting than the answers. Moore is in great form, and director Joseph Ruben directs competently. Dominic West, Anthony Edwards, Gary Sinese and Alfre Woodward round out the talented cast.--ADV

Garden State

4 stars (R, 101 min.) Twenty-nine-year-old director/writer/star Zach Braff's debut film about a young man afraid of finding his adult life is an astonishing achievement. When his paraplegic mother dies in a freak bathtub accident, struggling Los Angeles actor Andrew Largman (Braff) is forced to return to his New Jersey home where his adventures with friends, girlfriend (Natalie Portman) and control-freak Dad (a magnificent Ian Holm) change him. Affectionate and goofy, the film has a dreamy, low-key vibe that's refreshingly free of smart-allecky attitude.--JC

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

4 stars (PG, 141 min.) Teen wizard Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and pals Ron and Hermione (Rupert Grint, Emma Watson) encounter escapee Gary Oldman, mysterious David Thewlis, imperious Alan Rickman, and ditzy Emma Thompson. Alfonso Cuarón follows the darker turn of J.K. Rowling's third novel, weaving fantasy, horror and humor into a playful take on teen angst.--TM

Haunted Castle

Not reviewed (PG, 38 min.) Aspiring rock star Jasper Steverlinck visits dead mom's spooky English mansion and learns that rock 'n' roll really is the devil's music, in this 2001 3-D Imax horror flick from Belgian director Ben Stassen.

Hero

4 stars (PG-13, 99 min.) A rousing adventure and soulful love triangle about a mysterious young warrior (Jet Li), this film is an unexpected choice for Asian superstar director Zhang Yimou, whose previous films (Ju Dou, Raise the Red Lantern) have mined quieter, more modern material. This is the most expensive Chinese movie to date, more spiritual, more romantic, and, if possible, even more ravishing than Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.--JC

I, Robot

3 1/2 stars (PG-13, 115 min.) Will Smith deploys his raging charm as a hard-bitten homicide cop who, in 2035 Chicago, investigates the death of robot maven James Cromwell, with help from ice queen Bridget Moynahan. In his film suggested by Isaac Asimov's 1950 book, Alex Proyas (Dark City) retains enough of Asimov's chilling vision to counteract the studio-pic compromises. Surprisingly smart. With Bruce Greenwood, Alan Tudyk.--AA

Mr. 3000

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 104 min.) Comedian Bernie Mac is Stan Ross, a Milwaukee Brewers first baseman who becomes the 12th player ever to get 3,000 hits -- until it's discovered three hits were counted twice. The retired 47-year-old must now try to figure out a way back into the world of the Brewers, and he finds it's a whole new ballgame. The movie tries to be about a lot of things, from the pitfalls of egotism to issues about age and the media. But Mac's shtick keeps getting in the way. His hammy presence is ironic given that his character is supposed to learn something about the merits of teamwork. Whoops.--MP

Napoleon Dynamite

2 1/2 stars (PG, 86 min.) Driving writer-director Jared Hess' plotless debut is Jon Heder who, as a geek for the ages, pulls back on the charisma for the sake of deadpan misanthropy. He's arrogant, dishonest, socially inept, hyper-defensive and downright rude. But in a movie where everyone's a loser, he becomes our de facto hero, eventually exuding a certain geek chic. But there's not much of a payoff; the film doesn't go anywhere.--MP

NASCAR: The Imax Experience

2 1/2 stars (PG, 48 min.) Simon Wincer's flagrant promo flick is expensive entertainment that requires tiresome 3D glasses to watch. But it delivers some of the visceral, ear-shattering excitement of race day. Narrated by Kiefer Sutherland.--AA

National Lampoon's Gold Diggers

1 star (PG-13, 87 min.) Two young petty thieves (Will Friedle and Chris Owen) want to marry two old broads (Renee Taylor and Louise Lasser) for their money, not realizing the broads are broke and want to marry the boys for their money, which necessitates their murder. First-time writer-director Gary Preislder keeps his goals slow and still misfires. We're supposed to laugh at the sight of two wrinkly women screwing two hot young men, but apparently even gross-out comedy requires some delicacy. It's great to see the legendary Taylor and Lasser in major roles, but it would have been greater to see them keep their dignity.--ADV

The Notebook

1 star (PG-13, 123 min.) James Garner reads Gena Rowlands the tale of star-crossed lovers (Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams) whose 1940 North Carolina romance was cruelly curtailed. Nick Cassavetes' syrupy film of Nicholas Sparks' novel is formulaic, manipulative tripe. With Joan Allen, James Marsden.--AA

Ocean Wonderland 3D

Not reviewed (NR, 44 min.) Filmed in the Bahamas and Australia, this Imax doc features rays, sharks, dolphins and other marine life in 3D.

Open Water

4 stars (R; 79 min.) There may be five stages of grief but there are at least a dozen stages of fear, and this film, about a young married couple who get stranded in the middle the ocean while on a scuba diving vacation, gooses every last one of them. Stripped down-filmmaking at its finest.--JC

Paparazzi

2 stars (PG-13, 85 min.) In director Paul Abascal's overheated melodrama, four crazed photographers cause the family of action star Bo Laramie (Cole Hauser) to suffer a near-fatal accident. Naturally, Laramie embarks on a murderous rampage. Featuring cutesy cameos by Matthew McConaughery, Chris Rock and producer Mel Gibson, the film feels like a home movie made by a well-heeled lunatic.--RC

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

0 stars (G, 113 min.) It's impossible to describe the sheer awfulness of Garry Marshall's sequel to his 2001 fairy tale, in which Bay Area teen-cum-European royal Anne Hathaway has to choose between English duke Callum Blue and hunk Chris Pine. A meretricious insult. With Julie Andrews, John Rhys-Davies. --AA

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

0 stars (R, 90 min.) Director Alexander Witt and writer Paul W.S. Anderson know their target audience well. They understand that pre-brain Playstation 11-year-old males only care about explosions and chases and big-breasted women, so they don't bother with movies that have beginnings, middles and ends. And these kids are not likely to have seen the quality films that deal with the living dead, so they won't feel cheated by the lack of imagination in this tale about a virus that creates walking zombies. We don't even get the pleasure of clever body mutilations. There's a bad monster, though, who becomes good when he looks into the eyes of Milla Jovovich, which reminds us that even in video games, lust conquers all.--ADV

Shaun of the Dead

4 stars (R, 99 min.) A welcome blast of fetid air that is a lovingly hilarious tribute to just about anyone who ever had fun with rotting flesh. An underachieving TV salesman (Simon Pegg) who's about to lose his girlfriend (Kate Ashfield) because he spends too much time with his freeloading best friend (Nick Frost) is caught in the middle of the shambling undead who are taking over his North London neighborhood. He decides to hold up at his favorite pub, where beer taps and salted peanuts are impeded by surreal and gory enemy engagement. Director/co-writer Edgar Wright's film is devastatingly clever.--JC

Shrek 2

3 1/2 stars (PG, 105 min.) The sequel barrels along, with Shrek, Fiona and Donkey (Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy) visiting Fiona's parents (John Cleese, Julie Andrews). A maniacal stew of pop culture, mythology, and fairytale characters. Lively, entertaining and quite funny. With inspired Jennifer Saunders and show-stealer Antonio Banderas.--JC

Silver City

2 1/2 stars (R, 124 min.) The talented John Sayles has made a film that adds up to a monumental bore. The multiple-personality disorder story -- about the investigation of political sabotage stemming from a waterlogged corpse that disturbs the filming of a Colorado lakeside gubernatorial campaign commercial--veers wildly from jokey political satire to murder mystery to water-commission scandal to anti-privatization rant. Leaden with obviousness, the film fields characters that are either too broad for the average soap or too quirky for an Owen Wilson screenplay. With Chris Cooper, Richard Dreyfuss, Danny Houston, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Roth. Thank goodness for Daryl Hannah, who plays a sexually aggressive single mom with Olympic dreams. Staring at a man down the business end of an arrow, this blond Lucy Lawless is as exotic as Diana sighting a stag.--JC

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

3 1/2 stars (PG, 106 min.) Writer and first-time feature director Kerry Conran's decision to shoot this comic-strip adventure almost entirely before bluescreens and then digitally "paint" the backgrounds makes his routine plot look like nothing we've ever seen before. The feel as if they're being seen through a dreamer's eyes, or a window during heavy rain. It's a perfect visual style for a childlike tale of 1939 bang-bang male heroics and tough-lady glamour. Still, the story, about a hard edged reporter (Gwyneth Paltrow) who teams up with a heroic air pilot (Jude Law) and a one-eyed commander (Angelina Jolie) to fight a mad German scientist, runs out of steam way too early.--ADV

Spider-Man 2

4 stars (PG-13, 127 min.) Unmasked hero Peter Parker (again played magnificently by Tobey Maguire) faces his beloved M.J. (Kirsten Dunst) and superlative villain "Doc Ock" (Alfred Molina), whose writhing metal tentacles are hell-bent on world domination. Sam Raimi's reverent realization of Stan Lee's comic-book vision makes the fantastic achingly human. This layered sequel's improved computer graphics make its predecessor look positively earthbound.--JC

The Twilight Samurai

4 1/2 stars (NR, 129 min.) Yoji Yamada's beautiful, deeply personal story framed by the death rattle of an ancient Japanese way of life addresses the painful transition from feudalism to capitalism through the eyes of an aging warrior compelled to behave according to codes that no longer hold any meaning for him. The feudal village, rendered in soft, earthy colors and dusty light, feels like a real place; the carefully choreographed fight scenes are filled with moments of quiet and grace. But the director isn't sentimental about his country's past. He doesn't hide the bloated bodies of peasants floating downriver. The samurai era are deconstructed in a battle unlike any this genre has yet produced.--JC

Vanity Fair

4 1/2 stars (PG-13, 137 min.) Indian director Mira Nair tackles a lavish British costume drama about one of the 19th century's most resilient fictional heroines, and the result is a picture more daring, more unexpected and more thoroughly alive than anything this stuffy genre has seen since Gosford Park. Fans of William Thackeray's hefty novel will need to calm themselves over the page-to-page adjustments, but Nair wisely wants us to feel the energy and style in Becky Sharp's story, not its punctuation.--JC

Wicker Park

1/2 star (PG-13; 114 min.) A deranged remake of the 1996 French mystery L'Appartement, director Paul McGuigan's film is about characters who never behave even remotely like real people. Fuzzy Josh Hartnett is an investment banker trying to track down an old flame (Troy's Diane Kruger) while dodging his present fiancee (Jessica Pare), who thinks he's on a plane to Shanghai. He keeps almost running into her. His old friend (Matthew Lillard) tires to distract him with his own romantic problems. A cast this pretty was meant to be looked at, but no amount of prettiness can disguise the picture's stupidity.--JC

Wimbledon

2 1/2 stars (PG-13, 98 min.) Trite, tedious and singularly uninspired,

director Richard Loncraine's romantic tennis comedy about mismatched lovers (he's a British softy with one foot in retirement, she's an American spitfire at the top of her game) strands two of our most appealing actors (Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst). As the romance blossoms, so does his game, and, predictably, not hers. Bettany, good as it is, doesn't have the sort of self-mocking sexiness necessary for the role, and his chemistry with Dunst is more fraternal than lustful.--JC

Without a Paddle

1 1/2 stars (PG-13, 99 min.) Director Steven Brill's lamebrained, sub-Deliverance comedy-adventure about three city slickers (Seth Green, Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard) getting lost in the woods. They encounter the usual scary suspects, including, scariest of all, Deliverance star Burt Reynolds trying to act from behind a bushy beard.--AA

Reviews by: AA: Anthony Allison; ADV: Anthony Del Valle; JC: Jeannette Catsoulis; MP: Mike Prevatt; TM: Tammy McMahan