Rant

"Security moms" apparently are going to decide the election. Political experts say President Bush will get a second term if this demographic comes out strong for him in November. Okay, but what in tarnation is a "security mom"? Apparently it's a woman who is concerned about terrorism. She worries that her kids' school in Indiana or Idaho is going to be blown to smithereens by Islamic extremists, and she thinks Bush will do a better job of preventing that from happening.

This is nonsense (which, of course, means it's a completely accurate analysis of the American populace). First of all, I refuse to acknowledge the legitimacy of security moms in at least 45 states, because I find it hard to believe that terrorists give a crap about anything that's happening there. I can acknowledge the legitimacy of security moms in New York City, Washington, D.C., Los Angeles, maybe even Las Vegas. But Iowa? Alabama? Get real.

Second, why should Bush get the security mom vote? Bush is actively antagonizing the world, creating new enemies at every turn. If security moms want to reduce their anxiety, they should dump Bush and elect a guy who won't piss off the world with his smirk.

Here's a new demographic to watch out for: "Intelligent voters." This is a small but potent force that, one hopes, will wake up in time for the election and make sure Bush doesn't get four more years to screw things up even more than he already has.--Geoff Schumacher