Girl Gone Wild: Tips for Valentine's Day companionship

Tips for Valentine's Day companionship

By Loki Ferris

"I don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day, do you?" I see these exact words in imaginary thought bubbles hovering above every man I meet from about now to that dreaded date. I associate their fondness for me with the fear of impending solitude. What straight, single man wants to hang out with the boys on Valentine's Day? They want to hang with a lovely woman, as couples irritatingly pop up in every eating, drinking and entertainment establishment like parasites of love.

I shouldn't say that. It is at least the one day a year that requires each person in a relationship to lay down his or her weapons and just love each other. But what used to cause grief and anxiety in elementary school has followed into adulthood. As a child, I'd stuff extra candies into the envelopes of the boys I had a crush on. Always wanting to be different, I vetoed the conversation hearts one year and opted for Milk Duds. My heart throbbed in anticipation of the boy I was going to marry in third grade opening my valentine. He declared: "What I've always wanted--a squashed milk dud!" Chortling, he showed it to all his guy friends. I painstakingly put my heart out there and what did I get in return? Laughter.

But I'm a big girl now, and I don't have time to think about being laughed at or mocked. Just like a man, I know what it's like to put yourself out on a limb, only to hit several branches on the way down before you finally smack dirt. And the fairer sex can be very cruel about it.

This is the new millennium, and I can't believe it when I hear about women who refuse, even still, to initiate a conversation with a man. If they hang around my friends and me long enough, these attitudes slowly change. Ask yourself: Why wait for a man I wouldn't have chosen to come up and talk to me? Why not have a say in what you want? Men do it all the time. And they strike out all the time! You must stay competitive if you want a dude around for that special day. So here's a last-minute guide compiled by my friend, previously described in this space as "The Other Woman," and myself. Try it and let me know if any of it works!

How to flirt like a man:

• Smile, smile, smile! Nothing is more attractive than a happy woman. Keep that smile on your face as you make eye contact with the object of your affection, then widen it just long enough for him to notice and smile back.

• If it's noisy, when he comes up to talk to you, lean in and hold your hair back from your ear like a '30s starlet. He can smell your neck and hair easier this way. Likewise, you can talk directly in his ear so he can feel the moisture of your breath, but don't let your lips touch his ear!

• Look into his eyes and lock him in. Let his eyes follow yours--and subtly find your gaze upon his lips. (You want him to know you're thinking about kissing him.)

• When he's gazing into you, be sure to part your lips slightly. (This works on a subconscious level, but don't overdo it! He's not a piece of cheesecake that you want to devour!)

• Keep body contact subtle, nonintrusive. Find a reason to touch his hair if you're feelin' it. If he pulls back, mind his space...he may be timid or just not interested.

• Listen to him. You know what it feels like to be ignored. You can daydream about how your new honey is going to fit into your life, or how you're going to maintain the juggling act now that you've added No. 3 onto your dating list and still be responsive. Keep mental notes. "I told you that, don't you remember?" I used to get that a lot. They'll find out if you're not listening, and it's a turnoff.

• Honesty is good, but you don't want him to know everything. Be an open book, but let him turn the pages. There's no fun reading the last page before he starts chapter one.

• Laugh. Be comfortable. There's nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to have fun and enjoy life.

• Let him chase you until you catch him!

E-mail your comments and questions to loki@lasvegasmercury.com.