Man worried that lap dance started too late into song

HOUSTON--Though beguiled by the beauty of the stripper before him, Matt Buswell never completely surrendered to her fleshly pleasures because of his constant concern that the lap dance had begun much too late into the featured song.

"Montana had been asking me for a lap dance for about three songs and I kept putting her off," Buswell remembered. "Finally, she just grabbed my tie and dragged me to the VIP section while my buddies were hooting and hollering. But as we're walking toward the couches, it occurred to me that we were more than halfway through Outkast's `Hey Ya.'

"I figured we'd just sit down and wait for the next song," Buswell explained, "but instead she just starts rubbing up against me. And by this time, we're already to the `Polaroid picture' part of the song. There's only like a minute left after the `shake it like a Polaroid picture' part. That doesn't seem fair.

"By this time, she's rubbing her breasts against my crotch and I guess it's nice and all, but now I'm wondering if she's gonna offer to keep dancing through the halfway point of the next song," Buswell recalled. "Because that just seems like the right thing to do in a situation like this. Just to be fair to all parties. But instead, the minute the song's over, she just puts her top back on and walks away. Whore."