A/E Highlights

Well, at least it's not another stinking love song

One of Pythagoras' theories was that the planets rode on giant crystal spheres and that each one emitted a unique sound. Combined, they created the Music of the Spheres. The Las Vegas Philharmonic will be performing a piece by that name, but they'll be using the usual woodwinds, strings and all that stuff, because cosmic-sized spheres are really hard to play and they won't fit in most concert halls. The performance begins at 8 p.m. at Artemus W. Ham Hall. Tickets are $25-$65. Info: 739-5000.

'Wait, I don't remember writing all this dancing.'--Shakespeare

The Nevada Ballet Theatre will perform Romeo and Juliet at the Judy Bayley Theatre on the UNLV campus. Performances are at 8 p.m. Friday, 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday and 1 and 4:30 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $30-$65. Info: 895-2787.

We just got the joke

Dead Kennedys. We get it. It's a reference to Jamie Kennedy's post-Son of the Mask career, right? Man, you guys are harsh. The DKs and Last Rites play Friday at 6:30 p.m. at the House of Blues. Tickets are $17-$20. Info: 632-7600.

Soda, you lying rat bastard

There is no possible way that you've got a million pieces in that band. We used to trust you; now, man we don't even know who you are. Soda and his (shya, right) Million Piece Band play at 10 p.m. at the Double Down Saloon at 4649 Paradise Rd. Also on the bill: The Spores, The Displaced, Scarlet and Symphony. Admission is free. Info: 791-5775.

Yes, he ate bugs. Can we move past that?

We have to believe that most people, if they were trapped in hostile enemy territory, would surrender after two or three days and hope for nothing worse than the electricity applied to the genitals. If you want to hear Capt. Scott O'Grady talk about surviving six days in Bosnia, he'll be speaking at 7 p.m. tonight at the Silverton Casino at 3333 Blue Diamond Road. Tickets are $30. Info: 263-7777.

Finally, a caper movie without that John Woo everyone-has-a gun-in-his-face thing

1955's Rififi features four jewel thieves who don't trust each other and a cool, long, silent robbery scene. It's considered the first great French film noir and will be playing at 7 p.m. Wednesday at the Winchester Theater at 3130 S. McLeod Dr. Admission is $3. Info: 455-7340.