Letters

The world's a mess: War, tsunamis, pleated pants...

All hail Andrew Kiraly. Finally someone with the nerve and the platform to call pleated pants for the dork look they are and always will be [Rant, Dec. 30]. I don't always see eye to eye with him, but you're right this time, amigo!

--Steve Harmening

Las Vegas is ready for major sports team

Mr. Schumacher, I would like to point out a few flaws in your argument of why Las Vegas is not ready for a professional sports team ["Peanuts, Cracker Jack and Las Vegas," Editor's Note, Dec. 23].

First, that steady stream of teams that has come through here could hardly be called teams. Leagues like the IHL and XFL could not even support themselves. The quality of product that a pro team would bring here would far exceed anything that has been here. Las Vegans have been very supportive of pro teams when they have played exhibition games here.

Second, Cashman Field is hardly an adequate facility. The Dodgers have threatened to move the 51s unless it is significantly upgraded. Both Cashman and Sam Boyd have little to no shade, which makes attending anything during the day there unbearable in the summer.

Also, money, not population, will determine the value of a franchise here and there are plenty of people here who like to spend money. You could be sure that they would spend plenty on a new stadium as well. Any portion not paid for privately could easily be funded by tourists.

Finally, half the Major League teams averaged less than 30,000 in attendance last year. The Expos averaged 9,300, barely twice what the 51s averaged! There is no need for Las Vegas to need anything close to 40,000 people a game. With an enclosed, state-of-the-art stadium taking four years to build, Las Vegas is ready to make its move now to acquire a team and have close to 2 million people in the valley when it takes the field. Certainly it is not hard to imagine an average attendance starting around 20,000, and it could only get better from there.

--Brandon Frame

Agnes Fliff fan will fight for Clay Aiken's DNA

I just finished reading the big snark "Sidebar with Agnes Fliff." I got a laugh out of your Phishy stories, and I hope dolphin lovers don't cancel their subscriptions.

Now, that Agnes is a babe, NO DOUBT! I'm sure "America's Top Model" will be searchin' her out for next year's competition. I truly feel that buying shoes or panties at Walgreen's/Sears are the least of her problems.

Her taste in men is so-so. I think her taste has to do with all that toilet cleaner huffing. While getting pregnant by Robert Blake may put her in the media for a solid month, maybe she should keep her options open with that uber-hunk, Ken Jennings. His genes may provide an intelligent baby but if I were Agnes, I'd start savin' now for laser eye surgery. Just look how thick Agnes' glasses are! My feelings are that Agnes' toe fungus will probably keep her out of the running for either man. They do have standards!

Also, maybe the whole getting to third base with Natalie Portman is an issue that Agnes needs to address before she embarks on pregnancy with Ken Jennings or Robert Blake.

Now just when I think Agnes has gone off the deep end with her taste in men, she brings up a hottie of a honey, Clay Aiken, the man whose voice sets off endorphins in my hot little body. This guy is the reason I had to install seat belts on all my chairs, because of slippage. Sorry Agnes, I will fight you to the death for Clay Aiken's DNA. Not only is he my favorite singer but he has all those freckles and I love to play connect the dots.

My feeling is that Danny Gans probably buys his own underwear but that might only be an illusion.

Here's hoping Agnes' new year is a happy one but just in case she does hook up with Ken or Robert, I'd make sure her health insurance covers all.

Have a snarky New Year.

--Christa O'Walley

War on drugs lucrative for drug warriors, cartels

I'm writing about Randall G. Shelden's thoughtful op-ed, "Expensive Drug War Still Not Working," [Dec. 30].

I agree that our drug war is not working to reduce drug usage or the harm caused by drugs. However, it is working to assure full employment for the so-called "drug warriors." It is also probably working to fill the bank accounts of many of our most prominent politicians.

To understand how, perhaps we should study the history of alcohol prohibition. The notorious gangster Al Capone made most of his illegal money from alcohol prohibition. Capone often bragged that he "owned" the city of Chicago. Obviously, he didn't own all of the city of Chicago. However, he had most or all of the politicians and police who ran the city on his payroll. Al Capone was a successful businessman and it's not unreasonable to suspect that the drug cartels of today are following his business model.

It's also not unreasonable to suspect that the drug cartels may have many high-level politicians and police officials on their payroll. Obviously, the type of politicians the drug cartels would have on their payroll are those who advocate the continuation of the status quo of drug prohibition, which is making the drug cartels so fabulously wealthy.

I'm not saying that any specific so-called "drug warrior" is on the payroll of the drug cartels--I'm just a little suspicious. I'm just a little suspicious of the motives of all of the drug war cheerleaders.

--Kirk Muse,

Mesa, Ariz.