A/E Highlights

Romancing the tome

Romance novels today come in two varieties: good old-fashioned historical bodice-rippers and hip, snarky comedies, sometimes called "chick lit." Rachel Gibson is a best-selling author of the latter, emphasizing the humorous aspects of 21st century mating rituals. She's scored millions of readers with titles such as Simply Irresistible, Truly Madly Yours and True Confessions. Gibson will sign copies of her latest, The Trouble with Valentine's Day, at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 2, at Barnes & Noble, 8915 W. Charleston Blvd., and at 7 p.m. Thursday, Feb. 3, at the Clark County Library, 1401 E. Flamingo Road. For more info on the Wednesday event, call 242-1987. For more info on the Thursday event, call 507-3459.

Can they still play now that they're not commies?

Say what you will about the old Russia, but we always thought there was something to be said for orchestral music from totalitarian regimes. How many people spend 17 hours a day practicing piccolo in a free market? Of course, we kid. Viva the capitalist revolution, comrades! Play that funky Tchaikovsky, White Party! The Moscow Philharmonic performs at 8 p.m. Friday at the Artemus Ham Concert Hall at UNLV. Tickets are $45 to $90. Info: 895-2787.

Punch-drunk love

Look, you've got these ladies all wrong. They don't want to hurt one another. They're just confused by the roles society thrusts upon them and don't know how to express their sisterly affection. No, wait. You were right the first time. They like hitting people. Our bad. Women's Boxing comes to the Silverton at 3333 Blue Diamond Rd. at 8 p.m. Saturday. Tickets are $30. Info: 263-7777.

Keep running while we honor you with our beer-athon

We have a lot of respect for anyone who can run a marathon, particularly in this harsh desert climate. We may even pry our lumpy butts out of the La-Z-Boy to watch. The Las Vegas Marathon starts 1/2 mile north of the Gold Strike hotel in Jean at 7:30 a.m. Sunday and ends at Sunset Park whenever those poor wheezing bastards get there. Info: www.lvmarathon.com.

You have engaged our valuable interest

Okay, to the best of our knowledge, Antonio Banderas will not be in this particular production. For those of you who wasted your youth eating Cap'n Crunch by the fistful with your eyebones glued to "Taz Mania," Puss 'n Boots is the classic tale of a talking cat who makes his owner rich through a combination of trickery, great PR and semi-cannibalistic murder. The comedic adaptation of the story will be performed at 11 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturdays through Feb. 12 at the Summerlin Library Performing Arts Center at 1771 Inner Circle Dr. Tickets are $8. Info: 205-1247.