Mercury World Report

Gehry promises 'forgettable' design for Alzheimer's Center

In his first press conference since receiving the prized commission, renowned architect Frank Gehry vowed to produce an "eminently forgettable" design for downtown Las Vegas' Alzheimer's Research Center, saying he envisioned "a doddering old edifice that is but an empty shell of its former self."

The internationally renowned architect told reporters he hoped to create a structure that would "metaphorically lash out at those who love it most" and would leave passersby wondering what in the world happened to the kind and gentle building they used to know.

"I'm seeing a cold and distant structure of undulating steel," Gehry said. "With windows that will not meet your eyes, but seem to stare off into a distracted past of scrambled memories. In your heart, you will know there's someone inside, but because of the steel skin, they will not be able to recognize you."

U-Haul unveils new 'Blights of America' state depictions

PHOENIX--In a bid to comply with federal truth-in-advertising guidelines, U-Haul International introduced its new "Blights of America" series, in which each state's least-attractive qualities are airbrushed in a frank, unflattering tableau across the sides of the company's moving vans.

U-Haul President Ken Simington unveiled the newest model, titled "Arkansas: Teen Pregnancy Capital," featuring an acne-ridden 16-year-old boy slouched behind the wheel of his Celica as his enormously pregnant 13-year-old girlfriend trudges toward the front door of a Planned Parenthood facility.

"This is a value-added branding opportunity for our unique moving experience," Simington said as he introduced full-scale replicas of the 2005 art series. "We're still moving people, but we're also introducing them to a darker side of America which lies just beyond Mom's Attic.

"For instance, you'll see the head of a large and forbidding pit bull dominating the foreground of `Missouri: Gateway to Meth County,'" Simington noted. "The detail on the little house in the background is amazing. Can you see the sawed-off shotgun that's parting the drapes in the upstairs window? Magic stuff."

Next to join the fleet is "Indiana: National Leader in Amber Alerts," followed by "West Virginia: What's Causing the Curious Leukemia Clusters?"

Paroled Stewart kills florist who disrespected her

HARTFORD, Conn.--Underscoring the difficulty paroled prisoners face in readjusting to the free world, style maven Martha Stewart shot and killed a florist she thought had disrespected her just three days after her release from federal prison.

Friends had worried that prison might change the celebrity homemaker, but few were prepared for the combative and paranoid Stewart who emerged from Alderson Federal Prison last Friday.

"A bunch of us gathered for a celebratory dinner at Patina Saturday night," said Julie Ingersoll, a longtime assistant to Mrs. Stewart. "And instead of Martha's usual impeccable table manners, she starts hunching her shoulders over her food and draping her forearms around her plate like a fortress.

"I made the mistake of reaching for a crostino and Martha drove her salad fork through my hand," Ingersoll recounted. "And then she just glared at me, as if to ask, `What are you gonna do about it?'"

But it was Stewart's Monday morning visit to a Hartford floral shop that proved the snapping point. According to Ingersoll, Stewart complimented shopkeeper Tina Malone on her beautiful daffodils. When a flustered Malone referred to the flowers as "New Hampshire jonquils," Stewart calmly pulled a .38 revolver from her Kate Spade bag and shot Malone through the temple.

Handi-Chart: Why did it take Wichita Police so long to catch the BTK killer?

Many of suspect's taunting notes to police were in difficult Pig Latin code

During initial investigation, many of the bound and strangled victims were wrongly ruled as suicides

In fairness, it turns out BTK wasn't even the guy's real initials. That threw them off for about five years

With only Sgt. Cameron's daughter available as sketch artist, wasted almost six years searching for stick figure man with 14 fingers

Killer craftily used his "funny voice" when reporting murders to 911 dispatchers

Investigators had to get "inside the mind of the killer," but once inside his mind, discovered that the killer's mind didn't want them to find him. Got way confusing

With DNA testing still in its infancy, killer's semen samples were subjected only to Chief Manderville's notoriously unreliable "taste test"

Just got creeped out thinking about it and had to think about something else for a while

Unorthodox white cop and his hilarious black sidekick were close to making an arrest back in '84, but the wacky duo was fired for "playing by their own rules"

Other comments Mayor Goodman made to fourth-graders:

"Always double down on 11": 8%

"Never get a lap dance from a gal named Itchy":12%

"No, I don't know if Bombay Sapphire makes juice boxes": 14%

"What happens in Show and Tell, stays in Show and Tell": 18%

"I know a guy who can take care of your bully problem, but it will cost your milk money, plus the vig": 16%

"Anyone want to go downtown and egg the transients?": 12%

"Who taught you how to make a martini? This isn't an olive, it's a booger!": 20%