Rant: Bartenders without a clue

So there I was at one of those themed bars featuring a dozen-odd exotic beers on tap. My eyes glowed as I savored the prospect of a nice buzz imported from faraway lands. Of course, being a responsible drinker, I first sought guidance from what I assumed would be an informed, experienced server. After all, she was dressed like an English barmaid.

"I want to start off with a nice brown ale. Got any recommendations?"

"Um, not really."

"Oh. Well, what if I told you I usually drink Newcastle, but wanted to try something different?"

"Um, I don't know." She gestured emptily at the taps. It was slowly dawning on me that this woman was more sorority pledge than Sussex pub hostess.

"All right. Just give me a Guinness."

"We're out."

Feeling impotent and wretched (or more than I usually do), I picked a coaster off the bartop. I looked at the logo on it. For no good reason said, "Um, gimme one of these."

Argh! I can't stand clueless barkeeps! Particularly at ambitious drinking holes valiantly trying to break out of the Bud Light limbo. Would you put a high school dropout in charge of a library? Leave guided tours in the hands of the museum security guard? No! All you bar owners in Las Vegas--particularly those happily offering something off the beaten draft--puhleeze spend a little more time familiarizing your bartenders with the drink menu. Do that, and I'll spend a little more money on your wonderful exotic beverages from faraway lands.

--Andrew Kiraly