The Mercury's greatest hits 2004-2005: Our 4.25th year. Who would've thought?

It wasn't long before the paper formerly known as an offbeat weekly stood shoulder to shoulder with our worthy competitors. Now well-known for such name-brand features as Geoff Schumacher's Editor's Note, Knappster and Backstory--not to mention our satirical World Report section--the Mercury continued to thrive.

Then all this corporate shit we had no control over went down and bam, it's over.

Bang bang!

Our Gun Issue of Jan. 15 featured Democrats with shotguns! Marksmen with rifles! Andrew Kiraly with a machine gun! Duck!

We'll drink to that---oof!

This March 18 story had Newt Briggs braving icy glares, switchblades and broken pool cues to search out the roughest bars in town--the kind of place where you ask the bartender for something with kick and you get a boot in the nuts. This issue also featured out first (and last) annual Happy Hour Guide, introducing professional drunks across the city to the power of knowledge with extensive happy hour listings at the city's coolest bars.

Giving you a hand

Ever wonder what goes on in those lurid-looking massage parlors? They ain't hammering the knots out of your lower back, that's for sure. Mercury scribe Newt Briggs went deep under cover for this April 1 story, posing as an innocent customer who discovered that happy endings aren't just the stuff of fairy tales.

What's that smell?

What would it be like to live next to the dump? Or a fire station? Or in the shadow of a Strip casino? Andrew Kiraly sniffed out the story on Aug. 19. (Answer: It pretty much sucks.)

Burning Bush

On Oct. 14, we spent our cover story on one last-ditch effort to convince you, likely couch-bound nonvoter, to cast your ballot against Bush on Election Day. But did you listen? Noooo. And now you wonder why the sky is black with pollution, children are allowed to drive SUVs and France has instituted a mime embargo against us.

Ripped from the headlines (sort of)

A fixture in the Mercury from the first issue, the Basement Files is Kyle Gilliland's twisted take on current events and newsmakers. Whether he's taking a peek into the letters of Britney Spears' stalker or relating a transcript of Iraq's Olympic synchronized swimming team (coach: Uday Hussein), the Basement Files took satire to a new level of pants-peeing hilarity.

Law and disorder

After the rancorous 2003 Legislature, it was a miracle that our lawmakers could even gather in the same room without chewing each other's ankles off. But they did, and our Feb. 3 Mercury laid out the top issues of this session, from a property tax cap to a DMV rebate to raising the minimum wage. Of course, most people are just watching for the moment when Dina Titus gets Richard Perkins in a crushing, merciless headlock.

March 17, 2005: All's well that ends abruptly

What you hold in your hands is the last issue of what began as one of the most arrogant, pretentious experiments in Las Vegas journalism history--and became the city's smartest alternative weekly. But don't fret. Many key Mercury features and writers will find new life in CityLife.

Goodbye.